Father threatening to get custody of unborn child

[Desperate4Advic]

What is the name of your state? California

My sister is having a child with her EX-BF. They were together for 7 years and have split once he found out the news she was pregnant. They didn't have a stable relationship, and they lived together for almost a year but she moved out as he began seeing a psychiatrist for depression and kicked her out of their apartment and then they moved back in and they are well pregnant.

Anyhow, he is claiming to my family that he was "raped" or was taken advantage of as he was on antidepressants..hmmm. aside frmo the point that's his reasoning for not being there for my sister as she is pregnant (they no longer live together); however, he is now saying that he would like to keep in contact with my brothers but not talk to my sister ever again and would like to know how the child is doing. This guy's family is psychotic and he hasn't told them, but they believe my sister is the crazy one. Anyways, he is threatening that if he doesn't know what's going on with the child (due to his choice of not wanting to be there) that he will try to get full custody of the child once it's born in fear of my sister abusing the child because he "claims" he was abused. The guy is 6'5" and athletically built and has abused my sister where I've seen bruises.

So I guess my question is this, what is the possibility or the likeliness of him being able to be granted full custody of the child as we know his sick parents will attempt to procure that type of custody once he tells them he was "taken advantage of"? Is it possible? Is there anyway of preventing someone who is psychotic and on meds of seeing the unborn child? Or being completely out of the child's life? Like I wouldnt' trust this guy alone with any child. Can there only be supervised visitations? Can you figure out custody before the child is born? Again he's not wanting to be part of the child's life without exception to him thnking the child will be beaten or if he doesn't hear from my brothers. My sister is almost 29 and he's almost 27.

By the way there is also a record in a different state where they both filed restraining orders on one another. Hers was granted as he keyed her car and abused her quite a bit and admitted to it when the restraining order was granted. The charges were filed. So not sure if that would be heard in a custody hearing? Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. It's a really messy situation and just would like some advice on how to prevent any drama for my future niece/nephew coming into the world. Thank you..

 

[Ohiogal]

There is no child of which custody is needed. Until the child is born there is no child. Until paternity is established there is no father. If he is daddy, then he will have a chance to get custody of some type but probably not full custody. And yes it is possible for a guy to be raped. Truthfully whatever abuse your sister suffered does not matter because she stayed with him and made a baby with him afterwards and HE left her. It would appear vengeful for her to be stating that she doesn't want him to have custody of any type nor see the child for any reason by himself because he is on antidepressants and abusive. If he was that bad she should not have gotten pregnant by him.

 

[Desperate4Advic]

There is no child of which custody is needed. Until the child is born there is no child. Until paternity is established there is no father. If he is daddy, then he will have a chance to get custody of some type but probably not full custody. And yes it is possible for a guy to be raped. Truthfully whatever abuse your sister suffered does not matter because she stayed with him and made a baby with him afterwards and HE left her. It would appear vengeful for her to be stating that she doesn't want him to have custody of any type nor see the child for any reason by himself because he is on antidepressants and abusive. If he was that bad she should not have gotten pregnant by him.

I don't believe in a guy getting raped I think that's absolutely ridiculous. For the guy to actually have one? Are you kidding me?

 

[xylene]

I take it your sister is not denying Ex-BF's paternity?

The issue of custody will be determined after the birth.

The court will not award pre-natal custody.

Your sister could consider electing her option to terminate the pregnancy if the allowed time has not expired.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? California

My sister is having a child with her EX-BF. They were together for 7 years and have split once he found out the news she was pregnant. They didn't have a stable relationship, and they lived together for almost a year but she moved out as he began seeing a psychiatrist for depression and kicked her out of their apartment and then they moved back in and they are well pregnant.

Anyhow, he is claiming to my family that he was "raped" or was taken advantage of as he was on antidepressants..hmmm. aside frmo the point that's his reasoning for not being there for my sister as she is pregnant (they no longer live together); however, he is now saying that he would like to keep in contact with my brothers but not talk to my sister ever again and would like to know how the child is doing. This guy's family is psychotic and he hasn't told them, but they believe my sister is the crazy one. Anyways, he is threatening that if he doesn't know what's going on with the child (due to his choice of not wanting to be there) that he will try to get full custody of the child once it's born in fear of my sister abusing the child because he "claims" he was abused. The guy is 6'5" and athletically built and has abused my sister where I've seen bruises.

So I guess my question is this, what is the possibility or the likeliness of him being able to be granted full custody of the child as we know his sick parents will attempt to procure that type of custody once he tells them he was "taken advantage of"? Is it possible? Is there anyway of preventing someone who is psychotic and on meds of seeing the unborn child? Or being completely out of the child's life? Like I wouldnt' trust this guy alone with any child. Can there only be supervised visitations? Can you figure out custody before the child is born? Again he's not wanting to be part of the child's life without exception to him thnking the child will be beaten or if he doesn't hear from my brothers. My sister is almost 29 and he's almost 27.

By the way there is also a record in a different state where they both filed restraining orders on one another. Hers was granted as he keyed her car and abused her quite a bit and admitted to it when the restraining order was granted. The charges were filed. So not sure if that would be heard in a custody hearing? Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. It's a really messy situation and just would like some advice on how to prevent any drama for my future niece/nephew coming into the world. Thank you..

Well...no one is going to buy his "rape" story if they were living together at the time of conception.

Nor is being treated for depression a reason for a judge to consider someone as legally unfit.

However, the reality of things is that he cannot do anything at all until paternity is established, and that can't happen until the child is born. In addition, unless he can prove your sister legally unfit (not just accuse, but prove with hard evidence) then he has no real chance at full custody, let alone primary custody.

However, if he decides to pursue paternity/custody/visitation he will be awarded visitation with the child, and it could be unsupervised.

 

[xylene]

If he was that bad she should not have gotten pregnant by him.

Ok OH...

I think it would take a 8th grader about 30 seconds to demolish the 'logic' of that statement.

 

[BS Spotter]

I don't believe in a guy getting raped I think that's absolutely ridiculous. For the guy to actually have one? Are you kidding me?

Are you THIS stupid ALL the time? Take your sexist comment and shove it. Anywhere it fits more comfortably.

 

[LdiJ]

Are you THIS stupid ALL the time? Take your sexist comment and shove it. Anywhere it fits more comfortably.

Ok..yes, a guy CAN be raped, but its not so difficult to see why someone would think it was impossible. After all, a guy's body has to at least be interested, even if his mind is not, in order for it to happen......or at least for it to happen in a way that get's a woman pregnant.

 

[nextwife]

Ok..yes, a guy CAN be raped, but its not so difficult to see why someone would think it was impossible. After all, a guy's body has to at least be interested, even if his mind is not, in order for it to happen......or at least for it to happen in a way that get's a woman pregnant.

Rape by sodomization IS possible with a guy as victim.

So is statutory rape.

Matter of fact, there was a teacher/student case in which the minor male child's family got custody and mom went to jail.

 

[LdiJ]

Rape by sodomization IS possible with a guy as victim.So is statutory rape.

Matter of fact, there was a teacher/student case in which the minor male child's family got custody and mom went to jail.

That is what I was alluding to, but I was trying to be "delicate". Since dad is 27, and not a minor, statutory rape doesn't apply.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well...no one is going to buy his "rape" story if they were living together at the time of conception.

Can a woman be raped if she lives with someone?
And yes it is possible for a man to respond even if he says NO. His body can betray him. A woman's body can also respond if she is being raped.

 

[Ohiogal]

Rape by sodomization IS possible with a guy as victim.

So is statutory rape.

Matter of fact, there was a teacher/student case in which the minor male child's family got custody and mom went to jail.

A man CAN be raped. It doesn't matter what his body does. If he is too drunk to consent, or his body responds even though he says NO it is rape.

 

[Just Blue]

I find it very disturbing that so many of the very intelligent Senior Members have so little understanding of rape, in this "enlightened" day and age.

Both men and women can have a physical response despite saying NO! This is not as uncommon as you would think. Having an orgasm does not make it consensual!

 

[nextwife]

I don't disagree, I just gave two examples.

 

[xylene]

Male rape

This is the stupidest debate.

It isn't relevant to the facts of the case presented.

The court is not going to award custody before paternity.

The court certainly would not do anything while the pregnancy is in progress.

If the poster's sister wants to be certain to have nothing to do with psycho ex she can abort.