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Father took our baby from me off the street and won't answer any texts or phone calls

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GlassViolet

Junior Member
Hello, I'm currently in California and dealing with a big problem. I left my abusive ex and took our 2 month old to a woman's shelter last week. Against my best interests, I have been taking my baby to meet with him in public places so that he could still see his son. A few days ago, he decided to grab the stroller and start running towards his apartment. Since I've left, he's been trying to get me to move back in with him, and while I was following him while he ran off with our son, he told me I could fix this by going into his place and signing paperwork. I refused, called the police who did nothing, and had to leave him with our baby.

Since then, he has only texted me to let me know that I won't be seeing our son until our court date next month (He served me with papers asking for joint custody) and that he will no longer be speaking to me. His statement was full of lies, which I have physical evidence to prove so, and full of hatred towards me.

I have spoken to every person I can, and will be filing a restraining report on our son tomorrow, as I have reasonable evidence of his abuse towards me and our baby, including current warrants he has, text messages he has sent, and a witness report. I was told by many people that this is the only way I could reasonably get him back. I have been unable to find a lawyer, though I have the means to afford one. I'm going to call a bunch tomorrow and hope somebody will be able to represent me on short notice.

Is there anything else I could/should be doing right now? I am terrified that for some reason my restraining order will be denied. I also am scared he's going to leave state lines with out child. In the past, he wanted to buy an RV and travel the U.S., homeschooling our baby. Before we started dating, he lived in a car and traveled the U.S. I have tried to leave him many times, but was unable to. He was extremely abusive for the year we were together. He lives off of SSI, is an alcoholic, and brought home strangers he meets while he's out drinking, most recently a homeless person with a ringworm on his forehead, who he asked to move in with us. This guy ended up staying with us for 3 days until my ex kicked him out.

Is there anything else I can possible do? My son is 2 months old and breastfeeds, but he is supplemented with formula so he can still be fed. I am scared he's going to leave town, or ultimately get granted primary custody because he has kept my son from me for such a long time.
 


CdwJava

Senior Member
When is your court date?

Have you sought an emergency custody order? http://www.courts.ca.gov/1185.htm

The restraining order may not go anywhere, and if it does, it may allow peaceful contact and may not address custody at all. You need to get into Family Court ASAP.
 

GlassViolet

Junior Member
I was told that I would be unable to seek an emergency custody order as there was already a custody case pending. My concern is that he is not planning on going to court and will just take our baby across the state. He has talked about doing this before, and I know there are 2 places he will most likely go to first. It will be very hard to find him once he leaves.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
I was told that I would be unable to seek an emergency custody order as there was already a custody case pending.
Who told you this?

My concern is that he is not planning on going to court and will just take our baby across the state. He has talked about doing this before, and I know there are 2 places he will most likely go to first. It will be very hard to find him once he leaves.
A restraining order won't generally address that. It may keep him from contacting you, but, it's unlikely that the court will restrain him from the child without some really convincing evidence that he is a physical threat to the child. You seem to be wanting the TRO to do what you expect the custody hearing to do .... I doubt you will get the outcome you seek.

Understand that there are two accusations made in contested custody cases that are about as common as the sun rising every morning: allegations of physical/sexual abuse of a spouse or child, and/or allegations of substance abuse. While these can be true, they are also alleged so often that by themselves they may not do much to advance your cause.
 
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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Every lawyer you call that says they can't take you? Ask them if they could provide a referral to someone they would call if they were in your situation. Talk to everyone you know if theyt know anyone who knows a good Family Law attorney.
 

Ladyback1

Senior Member
Hello, I'm currently in California and dealing with a big problem. I left my abusive ex and took our 2 month old to a woman's shelter last week. Against my best interests, I have been taking my baby to meet with him in public places so that he could still see his son. A few days ago, he decided to grab the stroller and start running towards his apartment. Since I've left, he's been trying to get me to move back in with him, and while I was following him while he ran off with our son, he told me I could fix this by going into his place and signing paperwork. I refused, called the police who did nothing, and had to leave him with our baby.

Since then, he has only texted me to let me know that I won't be seeing our son until our court date next month (He served me with papers asking for joint custody) and that he will no longer be speaking to me. His statement was full of lies, which I have physical evidence to prove so, and full of hatred towards me.

I have spoken to every person I can, and will be filing a restraining report on our son tomorrow, as I have reasonable evidence of his abuse towards me and our baby, including current warrants he has, text messages he has sent, and a witness report. I was told by many people that this is the only way I could reasonably get him back. I have been unable to find a lawyer, though I have the means to afford one. I'm going to call a bunch tomorrow and hope somebody will be able to represent me on short notice.

Is there anything else I could/should be doing right now? I am terrified that for some reason my restraining order will be denied. I also am scared he's going to leave state lines with out child. In the past, he wanted to buy an RV and travel the U.S., homeschooling our baby. Before we started dating, he lived in a car and traveled the U.S. I have tried to leave him many times, but was unable to. He was extremely abusive for the year we were together. He lives off of SSI, is an alcoholic, and brought home strangers he meets while he's out drinking, most recently a homeless person with a ringworm on his forehead, who he asked to move in with us. This guy ended up staying with us for 3 days until my ex kicked him out.

Is there anything else I can possible do? My son is 2 months old and breastfeeds, but he is supplemented with formula so he can still be fed. I am scared he's going to leave town, or ultimately get granted primary custody because he has kept my son from me for such a long time.
The bolded statements don't make sense: If you called the police, and he had active warrants then the police are duty bound to do something.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
Whether they can act on the warrants or not depends on what they were for. If they were warrants in another jurisdiction where extradition is not permitted, then that might explain it. If he was not present or answering a door, that might also explain it. Not all warrants are serious or allow for an arrest - many can be cite only, and some may not be confirmed out of the county.
 

GlassViolet

Junior Member
I didn't mention the warrants to the police as I was in shock and really upset. However, they are for a non-extraditable misdemeanor and I doubt anything could really come from that, although the misdemeanor is one of the more serious charges. I talked to legal advocates who contacted SHARP, an organization in CA that assists with these kind of cases. They all informed me that I would be unable to file for emergency custody. I'm going to try to talk to them again today.

All the lawyers I've talked to agreed to meet with me, and then stopped answering my calls, or were too busy to help me out anytime soon. I'm going to call a bunch that have been recommended to me, as well as one that didn't return my calls (But sounded really promising) today and hope I can get somebody.

Do you think they could at least move the court date for the custody hearing to earlier? He's a 2 month old breastfed infant... I don't want to not see him for a month. Plus my ex is mentally ill and acting very erratically. He has this thing where he act really recklessly and blows up his life in one town before he just ups and moves, often leaving all his old stuff behind. The last few apartments he left completely trashed and didn't even notify the landlord. I am beginning to see signs of this happening again in him.
 
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Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I don't think you were told that you couldn't file for an emergency hearing. I think that you were told that you wouldn't be granted an emergency hearing based on the facts in your case. In a nutshell, there is no indication that the child is an danger.

I'm curious - are you married to the father of the child? If not, did you sign an acknowledgement of paternity?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I didn't mention the warrants to the police as I was in shock and really upset. However, they are for a non-extraditable misdemeanor and I doubt anything could really come from that, although the misdemeanor is one of the more serious charges. I talked to legal advocates who contacted SHARP, an organization in CA that assists with these kind of cases. They all informed me that I would be unable to file for emergency custody. I'm going to try to talk to them again today.

All the lawyers I've talked to agreed to meet with me, and then stopped answering my calls, or were too busy to help me out anytime soon. I'm going to call a bunch that have been recommended to me, as well as one that didn't return my calls (But sounded really promising) today and hope I can get somebody.

Do you think they could at least move the court date up? He's a 2 month old breastfed infant... I don't want to not see him for a month. Plus my ex is mentally ill and acting very erratically. He has this thing where he act really recklessly and blows up his life in one town before he just ups and moves, often leaving all his old stuff behind. The last few apartments he left completely trashed and didn't even notify the landlord. I am beginning to see signs of this happening again in him.
I think that the fact that he is breastfeeding is grounds for an emergency motion. An abrupt change to formula only will be rough on the child's digestive system.
 

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