• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Father wants custody of child living in another state

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

dlmay2005

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?Georiga

How do you begin the process of gaining custody of a child living in another state. We want to get custody of my husband's daughter because the mother is financially unstable and we believe she has a drug problem. School just started and she has already missed 4 days. We are currently paying child support. She lives in Mississippi. We are in Georgia.

Thanks!
 


djohnson

Senior Member
Where is the current order at? That is where you would need to file. You (meaning husband) will have to show a significant change of circumstances to even warrant a hearing on the matter. Your thinking she might be on drugs isn't going to do it. It's going to be hard to change custody with out hard proof of her being unfit. Financial stability isn't even a real factor. The missing days of school might, but mom may have a valid excuse and depending on the age of the child, may also not be a factor. Be prepared for a long expensive fight if you can even get an attorney to take the case.
 

dlmay2005

Junior Member
The current order is actually in North Carolina (if you are referring to the child support order). The child is 12 and very aware of the situation. Does she have any say if we go before a judge? Would it helpthe case knowing that she gave us the child this past summer because she said she could not handle it right now? She actually called and said she thinks it would be good if she came , but we cannot play cat and mouse and risk her coming to get her in the middle of a school year. Right now we have no legal right to the child. AND..I don't think it is fair that we will still have to pay the child support (like we did this summer) even if we have her in our care.

Thanks
 

djohnson

Senior Member
What does dad's custody order state about visitation? It common for NCP to have summer visitation especially if they are in a different state. If it goes to court, the child can talk to the judge, but it is not all up to the child's wishes as judges are familiar with kids always thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Then take into account how the child would feel to get up in court and say they prefer one parent over the other. It would be very hard on them. If mom is ok with it then it is much easier. If she isn't, then I don't think you have a very good chance. I also wouldn't just take mom's word for it. I would want it court ordered, but when mom finds out no CS, then be prepared for her to change her mind.
 

casa

Senior Member
dlmay2005 said:
What is the name of your state?Georiga

How do you begin the process of gaining custody of a child living in another state. We want to get custody of my husband's daughter because the mother is financially unstable and we believe she has a drug problem. School just started and she has already missed 4 days. We are currently paying child support. She lives in Mississippi. We are in Georgia.

Thanks!
What state is the court order re; custody from? That state has jurisdiction.
Check that state's Family code guideline of Change of Circumstance to see if the situation meets the requirements.

Do you know why she missed 4 days of school? The reason will determine if it's relevant to custody or not.

Thinking the mother is on drugs is not enough- you must prove that in court...because people lie about that all the time to get custody.

Child support is figured as a yearly amount- then that amount is broken up over 12 mos. time. In other words, if you don't want to pay support during the summer- you'd have to petition the court to modify and agree to pay a higher amount the remaining 9-10 months of the year. That is a common misconception about child support.

The summer visit is irrelevant because it is normal for children to go visit the Non-Custodial parent during the summer months.

At age 12 a judge may consider the child's wishes- depending on the judge's personal feelings re; involving children and depending on the maturity level of the child...even then, though, it won't be the determining factor. Judge's do not like to change existing custody orders unless there has been a substantial change in circumstance which warrants it- especially if it involves removing a child out of state/school/family they are currently established.
 

jelly

Member
its not enough to have a genuine concern for the child's wellbeing, there also has to be proof. inter-state custody cases are difficult, all the more reason to have proof. i think the child's wishes may help, but she may also change her mind if mommy decides to play mind games with her. i agree, based on a "concern" most likely a judge will not grant any miracles. but, if you search public records and find some real dirt ont his person (like DIUs), hire a private eye, or if the daughter sends you letters telling how bad things are and that mommy spends most nights away partying, send you pictures of the trashed house with mommy passed out on the couch, then you may have a shot. you need a lot documented evidence, though. pictures, letters, something.
the big-trick, which the mother may never go for, but then again she seems like she would be financially motivated... is that you can offer for the daughter to come stay with you for six months during which you will still pay child support, just say that you think i'd be good for her relationship with her dad, etc.. after six months, most states would consider your home the legal home of the child by default, and it would be easier to get custody. but, thats a lot of drama.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
jelly said:
or if the daughter sends you letters telling how bad things are and that mommy spends most nights away partying, send you pictures of the trashed house with mommy passed out on the couch,
Gee, beautiful way to put the kid right in the middle. That is likely to do nothing more than piss the judge off completely.
 

dlmay2005

Junior Member
Thanks to all for your input. We have tried to call the mom for 3 days straight now. She always tells the daughter to tell us she is asleep. This comes after she left a message in tears about she could not handle it anymore (car reposession, no food, etc...) She stated the reason for not going to school is because she didn't have a car to take her. I don't want her in the middle either, but I have already heard enough disturbing things this summer! She is 6 hours away so we just can't drop in on her. She had the father's name removed from the emergency contact list so we could not get info on just how many days she has missed from school (we know of 4). We do not have any kind of custody order except to pay child support.

Again..thanks to all for your time.
 

casa

Senior Member
dlmay2005 said:
Thanks to all for your input. We have tried to call the mom for 3 days straight now. She always tells the daughter to tell us she is asleep. This comes after she left a message in tears about she could not handle it anymore (car reposession, no food, etc...) She stated the reason for not going to school is because she didn't have a car to take her. I don't want her in the middle either, but I have already heard enough disturbing things this summer! She is 6 hours away so we just can't drop in on her. She had the father's name removed from the emergency contact list so we could not get info on just how many days she has missed from school (we know of 4). We do not have any kind of custody order except to pay child support.

Again..thanks to all for your time.
The father should file to establish custody/visitation. He has a legal right to all information re; her educational and medical records once he has court paperwork proving he is the father (whether he is the custodial parent or not).

Has anyone considered contacting the school to find out bus schedules? If the child is 12 then she is old enough to take the bus to school. Or if you speak to the child, she can talk to her friends about having another parent car-pool her.
 

djohnson

Senior Member
So if there isn't a previous custody order, doesn't that mean legal custody hasn't been established? What exactly does the child support order say? or was it through the state? If there isn't an order he may have other options.
 

dlmay2005

Junior Member
The story in a nutshell. He found out he had a daughter because north carolina petitioned him for paternity through is tax records. She had gone in for governement assistance and put his name down as the father. So I guess you can say it was an order of the state, but he was the one who initiated it (support) through her caseworker. He has never been to court.
 

jelly

Member
just to clarify, i did not mean to suggest turn the child into a spy.. from my experience, sometimes there are real issues going bon that a child may want to communicate urgently but dont have safe outlets to do so. in our case, their letters, drawings they sent,which were not solicited but went a long way in showing aspects of thier lives that were unsettling. the case workers noticed all those things...they red between the lines. and if anything went to prove a very real instance in which the welfare of the child was being compromised by the other party, they care more about that than they care about how the information was extracted, because it added up. my point is, not to badmouth the other parent to the child, or to make the child take sides or become the spy, but to lret them know that you are there for them, that if they are going through anything bad they should let you know, and to give her any potential opportunity to communicate whatever is going on safely. as you asl know, it doesnt matter how true it is if you show up in court with all heresay and no proof.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top