Fathers Custody, how hard is it?

[La-Poorboy]

What is the name of your state?Louisiana

I have a daughter that lives with her mom and stepdad. They have left her at home in the past by herself when she was 8-10 yrs old. A few other things they say to her I don't agree with. Her grades aren't too good, shes not failing, but that might change in the future if somethings not done.
Question: How hard is it for a dad to get custody at least during the 9 months of school? I'm re-married and have 2 kids that live with me and my wife. Ages 11 and 7. My daughter that lives with my ex ia fixin to turn 11. What do I need to do to get custody? Are the grades (failing) enough. or what about trying to proove shes left her at home alone? I have 2 kids and only 3 bedroom hosue. does the court look down at that if 2 girls have to share a room? Our kids are a-b honor role. Does that matter? It suppose to be in the best interest of the child. Just askin' for some answers. Thanks

 

[ZILLY]

You have to be able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she is an unfit parent.

Grades alone aren't going to cut it.

How long did they leave her home alone? At that age, an hour or two is acceptable.

 

[La-Poorboy]

At 10- one time all day. The others, I think up to 3 hrs or so. Not really sure. I thought the law was, not unfit, but it was "Whichever is in the best interest of the child". Is that the law, or does it still go by the old saying" Child will live with mother unless the father can prove her unfit"?

 

[ZILLY]

Dude, I couldn't tell you if that is good enough to challenge custody. Custody is a HUGE thing. Are there other children in the home with her or is she the only child?

"Whichever is in the best interest of the child".

You're right. BUT, your argument is, "My daughter's grades are slipping and she is left home alone for a few hours while my ex does shopping, etc". The judge will ask for proof of her being home alone. Do you have this proof?

There are mother's and father's fighting for custody of their children for reasons worth well more than what you are stating, drug abuse, physical/emotional/sexual abuse... that is where there the statement, "Whichever is in the best interest of the child", comes in.


Your argument is almost a joke to these judges. I'm not trying to sound harsh here, but you know, you can try. I hope you have ALOT of money, be prepared to spend thousands of dollars fighting for custody. And also think of what your daughter has to go through once you do file for custody. There are mediation sessions, psychological evalutions... you can't go into court saying you want your kid and they give her to you. This could take years.

Instead of filing for custody, why not ask mom to let you have her if she is going to be gone for more than an hour? Assist your daughter in homework assignments when you have her. Work with her first...

 

[Hopkins306]

Thats not enough time for a change in custody. I was once left home alone for an entire two weeks at the age of 13 (with plenty of food of coarse) and it still wasn't really bad enough to get custody changed. The court will also see that you have two kids in the house and it would get crowded with another but your ex doesn't have any other kids at the house (that you have mentioned) so it wouldn't be crowded. If the child starts failing her classes and they dont do anything about it you could probably bring that to the judge and he might be more on your side but just doing badly wont suffice. At the end of this if you do get custody i suggest bunk beds.

 

[ZILLY]

I really do not think that the amount of children in a house is at question here. Two girls sharing a room is not bad. It happens all the time. There is no state law in any state saying there has to be a separate bedroom for each child.

The real issue here is evidence proving that the mother is unfit, (drugs, alcohol and other kinds of abuse). So far, we haven't heard anything of that nature happening here. He doesn't have a case. The issues at hand can be worked out between father and mother. IE; her having him watch the daughter if she needs someone to watch her. Both parents working harder to help her with her school work, tutoring... helping pay for a babysitter...

I know of a case where a toddler was being sexually abused by her father. Daughter freaks out at the sight or mention of her dad, social workers claims that the child has been abused in some way, toddler pointing to where daddy touches her in mediation sessions. The daughter is still being forced to see father because there was not sufficient enough evidence.

There just isn't enough evidence in your case for a change in custody.

 

[La-Poorboy]

Is there an age at which my daughter can request to live with me? Is 11 a good age for her to decide, or does her momma make the decisions? We have joint custody.

 

[ZILLY]

Is there an age at which my daughter can request to live with me? Is 11 a good age for her to decide, or does her momma make the decisions? We have joint custody.

When my daughter requested to live with me, she was 15. It's basically the courts decision. A minor has no say so in where he/she could live unless he/she is emacipated. Unless you and mom agree to it and keep it out of the courts, then she can live with you.

 

[LdiJ]

Is there an age at which my daughter can request to live with me? Is 11 a good age for her to decide, or does her momma make the decisions? We have joint custody.

Its not her decision, and its not the mom's decision either. Its the judge's decision.

At 12-13 the child's wishes may be given some weight by the judge in the decision making process.