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Fiance went through my email and forward herself financial information of mine.

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John885

Junior Member
#1
I'm really at a loss of what to do about this. I left a game open on my computer so it didn't lock and went to take a shower. My fiance went on to my computer and went through my email. I was discussing a prenup with a family lawyer though email, which we had talked about, but then later she said she would never sign one after I started the process. One of the emails had a Word document for the financial disclosure with all of my bank and investment accounts listed. She first accidentally forwarded it to an old co-worker of mine with a similar email address to hers, luckily it looks like it didn't go through. She then forwarded it to herself properly and it did send. I found out shortly after I got out of the shower because I got an undeliverable message for when she sent it to my old co-worker. She then owned up to doing it and showed me her email accounts on her phone, but since I didn't see her delete it I'm not really sure if she still has it saved or has forwarded it on to someone else, or even another email account she has. I'm really not sure what to do about it. It sounds very illegal to me but I'm not an expert in that area. Not sure if I should report it to my bank or what I should do. I took her home to her parents house where she lives as she begged me not to tell them what she did. I haven't decided what to do about this yet, or what I should do.
 


quincy

Senior Member
#2
I'm really at a loss of what to do about this. I left a game open on my computer so it didn't lock and went to take a shower. My fiance went on to my computer and went through my email. I was discussing a prenup with a family lawyer though email, which we had talked about, but then later she said she would never sign one after I started the process. One of the emails had a Word document for the financial disclosure with all of my bank and investment accounts listed. She first accidentally forwarded it to an old co-worker of mine with a similar email address to hers, luckily it looks like it didn't go through. She then forwarded it to herself properly and it did send. I found out shortly after I got out of the shower because I got an undeliverable message for when she sent it to my old co-worker. She then owned up to doing it and showed me her email accounts on her phone, but since I didn't see her delete it I'm not really sure if she still has it saved or has forwarded it on to someone else, or even another email account she has. I'm really not sure what to do about it. It sounds very illegal to me but I'm not an expert in that area. Not sure if I should report it to my bank or what I should do. I took her home to her parents house where she lives as she begged me not to tell them what she did. I haven't decided what to do about this yet, or what I should do.
What is the name of your state?

You ask what you should do? I suggest finding a new fiancée.
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
#5
What should you do?

1) change all your passwords, but especially those that deal with finances;

2) cancel any wedding venues/vendors. If you lose the deposits, then consider it a small price to pay; then

3) break it off with her.

Apparently neither of you have trust in the other; that's not a foundation upon which to build a marriage.

Good luck.
 
#6
I would have thought the two of you would have discussed finances and your means of dealing with money when you got engaged.
 

FarmerJ

Senior Member
#9
John as to not telling her parents, I have to ask why would you not tell them ? If their so called adult child was okay doing this to you don't you wonder if she would do it to her parents? ( a lot of so called adult children rip off family members and lots get away with it too) its kind of sad to have to but do take steps to protect your self better the next time around and be done with this current one and do consider telling her parents the truth , knowing the truth about their daughter is a reasonable consequence for he actions.
 

quincy

Senior Member
#10
John as to not telling her parents, I have to ask why would you not tell them ? If their so called adult child was okay doing this to you don't you wonder if she would do it to her parents? ( a lot of so called adult children rip off family members and lots get away with it too) its kind of sad to have to but do take steps to protect your self better the next time around and be done with this current one and do consider telling her parents the truth , knowing the truth about their daughter is a reasonable consequence for he actions.
This is between John and his fiancée. He should not say anything about his fiancee's actions to her parents (or really to anyone) to best avoid a claim of defamation.
 
#11
Why does it seem you all think his fiancee was ripping him off? His assets and debts he has to disclose to her FULLY if he wants a prenup. The fact that he is hiding this side of him doesn't say much about his maturity. That does not excuse her for sending herself a copy of his spreadsheet but seriously, neither one of these people are in the right. OP, you have a lot of growing up to do before you would make anyone a proper marital partner.
 

quincy

Senior Member
#12
Why does it seem you all think his fiancee was ripping him off? His assets and debts he has to disclose to her FULLY if he wants a prenup. The fact that he is hiding this side of him doesn't say much about his maturity. That does not excuse her for sending herself a copy of his spreadsheet but seriously, neither one of these people are in the right. OP, you have a lot of growing up to do before you would make anyone a proper marital partner.
The fiancee committed a crime by accessing his computer without authorization.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
#13
Why does it seem you all think his fiancee was ripping him off? His assets and debts he has to disclose to her FULLY if he wants a prenup. The fact that he is hiding this side of him doesn't say much about his maturity. That does not excuse her for sending herself a copy of his spreadsheet but seriously, neither one of these people are in the right. OP, you have a lot of growing up to do before you would make anyone a proper marital partner.
Perhaps he was preparing the spreadsheet to submit to her as a part of the prenup "process". As pointed out, the fiancee likely committed a crime, but has, at the very least, broken any trust in the relationship.
 
#14
The fiancee committed a crime by accessing his computer without authorization.
Questions: Had he ever let her use the computer before? Did he ever rescind any permission he gave her? There are other things that come in to play with this. But hat is not my primary point. I am not necessarily arguing that but it is not clear cut that she committed a crime.

OP though is an immature selfish jerk. He is "engaged" and is supposed to be a partner to his spouse. He wants to hide his assets and debts from her because, why? He is the one who is here and he needs to deal with who he is as well. Quite frankly, he shouldn't get married until he can grow up and learn what being in a marriage means... Finances are a huge portion of a marriage -- how people handle money, their priorities, so on and so forth. if he can't have an honest truthful discussion with the person he says he wants to marry then he isn't ready for marriage.
 
#15
Perhaps he was preparing the spreadsheet to submit to her as a part of the prenup "process". As pointed out, the fiancee likely committed a crime, but has, at the very least, broken any trust in the relationship.
OP has also not shown he is trustworthy if he wants to hide a huge part of himself from her. Finances are something that should have been discussed by now. He is a selfish jerk quite frankly. Not saying who he chose is an angel -- she isn't... but he is not a saint.
 
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