Fiance's pyscho ex won't leave us alone

[prettymisspeach]

I didn't know where else to put this, but I guess this will work. My fiance and I live in Missouri, the ex lives in Kansas. We have been engaged for about 2 months been together for almost 5. We also live together. The prolem is his ex constantly calls our home. She has been asked repeatedly not to call. If she can't reach my fiance at home she resorts to calling his cell phone. I've tried the call blocker feature on our phone but she skates around that by calling from different numbers, and I can't block the entire world from calling us. And we can't change the phone number due to the fact that my fiance is management at his job, and he has too many contacts that have his home phone number to call and tell them it's been changed. Is this a form of harassment, even if it is just over the phone? Any suggestions on what we should do? Would a restraining order or and exparte do any good?

 

[shanney27]

I don't know about the legalities of what you asked, but have you considered caller id??? It is a wonderful thing. If you get a call from an unknown # you just don't answer and let the machine get it. With the cell phone same thing except let it go to voice mail. THEN if she keeps calling and does leave messages everywhere...that is proof of harrassment. From what I have read you can use answering machine and voice mail messages in court because the person calling KNOWS they are being taped. So let her hang herself...........

 

[maryp]

Just to follow on from what Shanney27 said, I have some friends in the States who were continually getting calls from unknown sources.

Ultimately, the local sheriffs office advised them to purchase an answerphone and record a simple message to the effect that "your call will not be answered unless you idenfity yourself".

If the ex continues to make calls to your house, it'd all be there for the courts to hear.

 

[JETX]

Additional thoughts....

Why is she calling him??? If it is because he owes her money, or about any children, or about any other REASONABLE things that he should be handling and isn't, that is not harassment.

One suggestion... since this is really between your current live-in and his 'ex', let him handle it. And if he doesn't handle it himself, maybe he doesn't want to.....

 

[frogsmk]

psycho ex harrassment!

Just to let you know that i went through the same kind of harrassment as you are going through. My boyfriends ex wife was calling many times a day and even though we didn't answer most of the time it was very annoying and she even would get my kids on the phone and try to get info from them for whatever was going on in her head! Anyway, we were told to trace the calls and that was done by pressing a code on the phone after each call. Unfortunately there was a charge of $3.50 per trace. We did nail her in court however and was she floored when she saw the printout of all the calls she had made that she just denied making! Money well spent. She got over it!

 

[paisleyplace]

Been there too.

The phone company can be your best friend here. My ex-husband and his second wife did this to me. After using the tracing feature on the phone, her mother, his mother, and a close friend of their's almost lost their phone completely and she was on the verge of going to jail.

The answering machine is a great idea too. You can also get a microcassette recorder like the ones attorneys, doctors, and college students use. Radio Shack has an attachment that hooks to the phone. Check with your state about the legality of taping the phone conversations. Answering machine messages are admisable in most states for grounds of harassment.

In my case, the law took care of my ex and his wife. After the sheriff's department caught them, they claimed they were checking in our mine and my ex-husband's daughter. Funny thing was that I kept a journal of when she visited each place with dates, times, etc... I had documented proof that when they claimed they were checking up on the child, the child was in fact with them. The checking up claim didn't hold up when it was proven that they had literally called me 120 times in one day and hung up. The phone company was to thank for that too.

Best of luck. It is hard but you can get through it. If you get the dibs on the answering machine and/or taping, contact your district attorney or magistrate's office about harassment and possibly see if telephone stalking can be made to stick.