fighting for custody

[ebnme]

What is the name of your state? North Caroline
My fiance he has a daughter with his ex wife and custody is worked out and in the papers it is joint custody. His ex wife and her boyfriend, who she now has a child with and another one the way due before the other turns 1, bought or are buying a house 1hr 30min away and she has decided she doesn't want her to go to school where we live anymore she wants her to go where she is moving. we can't come to an aggrement so she wants a judge to decide where she should live, she claims it's not custody but i don't know what else it could be. She does not work only her boyfriend does and i just want to find out what our chances would be in getting legal custody becuase alot of people have told me that courts faver the mother. Also her boyfriend got into legal trouble last summer for growing marijuana in their back yard and the police finding it, my fiance's daughter was with them half the week then as well. Would that go against his ex wife in court for custody even though her and her boyfrind arn't married?

 

[Zephyr]

does their current order state who has primary residence, or primary physical placement, or who is the custodial parent?

 

[ebnme]

no, all it says is joint custody, we did the papers ourselves

 

[Ohiogal]

no, all it says is joint custody, we did the papers ourselves

Hence the error. Your fiance is going to have to go back to court. Waiting until custody to bring up the mj from LAST year is not going to sit well with the court.

 

[ebnme]

i don't get it, i know nothing about any of this stuff, what is it exactly that we need to go back and do??we will do whatever we have to

 

[Just Blue]

i don't get it, i know nothing about any of this stuff, what is it exactly that we need to go back and do??we will do whatever we have to

You don't have to get it. You don't need to know anything. Your question should read: "What is it exactly that HE needs to go back and do".

You are not married to this man and you are legally nothing in this situation...you need to back off.

Getting info for your boyfriend is fine, but from your posts you are WAY too involved.

 

[Silverplum]

You don't have to get it. You don't need to know anything. Your question should read: "What is it exactly that HE needs to go back and do".

You are not married to this man and you are legally nothing in this situation...you need to back off.

Getting info for your boyfriend is fine, but from your posts you are WAY too involved.

All that and more:

Getting custody is a MAJOR legal battle. Asking the simple q, "What exactly does he need to do?" is like asking, "how do I play hockey?" Well, first you want to lace up your skates... It's just too broad of a question. No one here is going to walk you (or anyone) step by step through an incredibly involved process. Your bf NEEDS an attorney.

 

[ebnme]

first of all she is my life and so is he, married or not we will be and it is about US and not just him or me. WE do things together WE are a team and don't leave eachother out, sorry you feel that way but WE will go through this together as well and im not asking for a step by step, i don't need you to hold my hand I just want to know what his chances are if we have to go to court. And i am not going to back off because she is my pride and joy regardless of whether i gave birth to her or not i have been there her whole life too. She knows the difference between me and her mother but she does call me mom as well but that is because she loves me and knows i have always been there for her just like her mother!!!

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

first of all she is my life and so is he, married or not we will be and it is about US and not just him or me. WE do things together WE are a team and don't leave eachother out, sorry you feel that way but WE will go through this together as well and im not asking for a step by step, i don't need you to hold my hand I just want to know what his chances are if we have to go to court.. And i am not going to back off because she is my pride and joy regardless of whether i gave birth to her or not i have been there her whole life too. She knows the difference between me and her mother but she does call me mom as well but that is because she loves me and knows i have always been there for her just like her mother!!!

Oh Brother.

The only *US* in this situation, is your boyfriend and his *X*.

Seems the *X* know's what to do, so your boyfriend can just wait for the OSC to arrive in the mail.

PS> You should never have allowed her to call you Mom, you are not even a *Step* mom.

 

[stealth2]

first of all she is my life and so is he, married or not we will be and it is about US and not just him or me. WE do things together WE are a team and don't leave eachother out, sorry you feel that way but WE will go through this together as well and im not asking for a step by step, i don't need you to hold my hand I just want to know what his chances are if we have to go to court. And i am not going to back off because she is my pride and joy regardless of whether i gave birth to her or not i have been there her whole life too. She knows the difference between me and her mother but she does call me mom as well but that is because she loves me and knows i have always been there for her just like her mother!!!

Sweetheart - ya got bupkiss. Legally, you're nothing to this child. You're not her Mommy (and the court will not be amused that you're playing such), and you don't get to be part of the situation between Dad & Mom (the real one, not you). That's just how it is. You can either figure out how to deal with that reality, or you can hurt your b/f's chances at any sort of greater custody or time than he now has. 'Cause you're interfering in a situation you have no place in. The sooner you realize that, the better for your b/f.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Bupkiss? LOL, Do tell me what that means.

 

[Ohiogal]

first of all she is my life

NO she is not. Sweet sentiment but NOTHING LEGALLY!

and so is he,

Legally NOPE!

married

Well if you are married then you have legal rights where HE is concerned but still nothing for the daughter.

or not

Now you are back to no legal rights to him.

we will be

That is sweet. With that and $3.20 I can buy a gallon of gas.

and it is about US

Wrong.

and not just him or me.

Well you are right. It is not about him or you. It is about HIS child. HIS child.

WE do things together

That's cute. I did things together with my dog. Like take a walk.

WE are a team and

Professional ping pong?

don't leave eachother out,

So you don't have to pick each other last if you are making teams huh? How sweet.

sorry you feel that way

Dearie, the COURT feels that way.

but WE will go through this together as well

NO. He will go through this and you will be sitting in the waiting room or waiting at home.

and im not asking for a step by step,

That is good.

i don't need you to hold my hand

Cool because I really dont' want to.

I just want to know what his chances are

50/50 give or take.

if we have to go to court

You can ride in the court with him to the courthouse BUT you will NOT be in the courtroom. You will NOT be participating.

And i am not going to back off

Oh well. Then sink your boyfriend's chances.

because she is my pride and joy

It's nice you care but you are a tad bit obsessive.

regardless of whether i gave birth to her or not i have been there her whole life too.

You were in the delivery room?

She knows the difference between me and her mother but she does call me mom as well

Okay now you just majorly crossed the line. This child SHOULD NOT be calling anyone but her mother mom. You can be called just about anything else but you are NOT her mother. YOU NEVER WILL BE! And legally if that gets in to court dad will lose. So dont' brag too much sweetcheeks.

but that is because she loves me and knows i have always been there for her just like her mother!!!

You are NOT just like her mother. YOU ARE NOT anything legally. You are an intruder. She can love you and call you by your name. YOu are not even married to her dad and you think you have the right to be called mom by her? And that is a prime example why dad's chances are going downhill. Look up parental interference.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Oooh, I smart! I look up word, and word there.

 

[CJane]

When you say "We did the paperwork ourselves" - was it even filed with the court?

And umm... when you say your fiance has the child "Half the week" - what EXACTLY do you mean? Since a week has an odd number of days, it's kind of difficult to split the week exactly - which means one of the parents 'technically' has the child more - and is therefore most likely to be considered the 'primary' parent.

 

[Ohiogal]

Bupkiss? LOL, Do tell me what that means.

Bupkiss = nothing