fighting friends sharing lease

[rogvalcox]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I'm actually submitting this question for my niece, who doesn't have internet. Just for the sake of argument and simplicity in understanding, I will right this in fisrt person as if I am my niece.

I live in an apartment in Oswego, Illinois, which is a far west suburb of Chicago. Me and my girlfriend share a lease on the apartment. This July will be the end of two years. The first year was great. The second year she became a completely different person. She does not discipline her two year old child and will not clean up after herself or the kid. I have to recieve her half of all the bills in order to make sure her checks bounce and cause grief on the handling of the rent and utilities, which is not uncommon. She is lying to me repeatedly, will not let me see the mail when I ask for it, I've caught either her or the child snooping in my stuff and she won't put a stop to it, she also has a friend, who is not on the lease, staying there all the time and showering and spending the night, and I have reason to belive that he has stole from my own private change jar, but i'm told that it was the kid. Ofcourse her friend is on her side 100% which is casing me more grief!! I've tried reasoning with her but, it's gotten to the point where i've had to do things like take all of my dishes and kitchen stuff, etc. out and tell her that if she is not going to help with cleaning dishes and the kitchen, then she doesn't get to use my stuff. I've done things of this caliber with several different things, like my computer, etc. and she is so dense that she doesn't see where it's coming from, and literally thinks that she is not at fault and that i'm just simply trying to be a b$%*@h. I really want to go to the landlord and ask him to put a lock on my bedroom door, but I know that as soon as she sees that she's is going to flip, which is going to make it worse for me!! I do have places that I can stay if I wanted to move out and continue to pay my share, which she has tried to get me to do, but that will give her the run of the place all to herself, which is obviously what she wants, and I am out of this money i'm putting up and not getting anything out of it. I know 4 or 5 months is not much longer to bear it out, but you've got to understand that this is getting completely and utterly out of control and rediculous. I even offered to turn my lease over to one of her friends (like the one who is there all the time) but then she and her friend doesn't get the half way free ride, and there wouldn't be anyone there to clean the place and to restock the toilet paper etc.if I wansn't still there.

I have got to figure out if there is anything I can do to either....untie myself from this mess completly (which is next to impossible if you sign a lease with someone) or make her learn a lesson!!!! (legally ofcourse!!)

To make a long story short...a good friend and roommate has turned into a living nightmare out of the blue, and I can't take it anymore, and everyone that knows me will tell you that i'm the easiest person in the world to get along with!!!!!!!

Please...if anyone has got any input, i'm all ears!!!!
Thank You

 

[HomeGuru]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I'm actually submitting this question for my niece, who doesn't have internet. Just for the sake of argument and simplicity in understanding, I will right this in fisrt person as if I am my niece.

I live in an apartment in Oswego, Illinois, which is a far west suburb of Chicago. Me and my girlfriend share a lease on the apartment. This July will be the end of two years. The first year was great. The second year she became a completely different person. She does not discipline her two year old child and will not clean up after herself or the kid. I have to recieve her half of all the bills in order to make sure her checks bounce and cause grief on the handling of the rent and utilities, which is not uncommon. She is lying to me repeatedly, will not let me see the mail when I ask for it, I've caught either her or the child snooping in my stuff and she won't put a stop to it, she also has a friend, who is not on the lease, staying there all the time and showering and spending the night, and I have reason to belive that he has stole from my own private change jar, but i'm told that it was the kid. Ofcourse her friend is on her side 100% which is casing me more grief!! I've tried reasoning with her but, it's gotten to the point where i've had to do things like take all of my dishes and kitchen stuff, etc. out and tell her that if she is not going to help with cleaning dishes and the kitchen, then she doesn't get to use my stuff. I've done things of this caliber with several different things, like my computer, etc. and she is so dense that she doesn't see where it's coming from, and literally thinks that she is not at fault and that i'm just simply trying to be a b$%*@h. I really want to go to the landlord and ask him to put a lock on my bedroom door, but I know that as soon as she sees that she's is going to flip, which is going to make it worse for me!! I do have places that I can stay if I wanted to move out and continue to pay my share, which she has tried to get me to do, but that will give her the run of the place all to herself, which is obviously what she wants, and I am out of this money i'm putting up and not getting anything out of it. I know 4 or 5 months is not much longer to bear it out, but you've got to understand that this is getting completely and utterly out of control and rediculous. I even offered to turn my lease over to one of her friends (like the one who is there all the time) but then she and her friend doesn't get the half way free ride, and there wouldn't be anyone there to clean the place and to restock the toilet paper etc.if I wansn't still there.

I have got to figure out if there is anything I can do to either....untie myself from this mess completly (which is next to impossible if you sign a lease with someone) or make her learn a lesson!!!! (legally ofcourse!!)

To make a long story short...a good friend and roommate has turned into a living nightmare out of the blue, and I can't take it anymore, and everyone that knows me will tell you that i'm the easiest person in the world to get along with!!!!!!!

Please...if anyone has got any input, i'm all ears!!!!
Thank You

**A: talk to the landlord.

 

[rogvalcox]

Already did that. The only thing that anybody has to say is that once you sign a lease there is no way out of it without paying all that the landlord would lose if you weren't there until the end of the lease. The landlord said that if she could find someone that would take over he would let that work, but let's be realistic here. Bottom line...most landlords don't care what you're personal problems are as long as he gets the rent money and the property isn't damaged. I wouldn't put anybody I know in that house with her, and her friend isn't going to pay to live there when he stays there all the time for nothing. I'm going to tell the landlord about the unwanted guest but the worst he is going to do is tell her to not let him stay there any longer, and that's not even the half of the problem. This forum is my last resort, short of paying hundreds or thousands to a lawyer, which I can't afford, and by the time it was resolved the lease would be up anyway.

I'm hoping that someone knows of some contractual or legal clause related to this kind of situation that I don't have to pay a lawyer to tell me about????

Thank You...i'm still all ears!!!!

 

[HomeGuru]

Already did that. The only thing that anybody has to say is that once you sign a lease there is no way out of it without paying all that the landlord would lose if you weren't there until the end of the lease. The landlord said that if she could find someone that would take over he would let that work, but let's be realistic here. Bottom line...most landlords don't care what you're personal problems are as long as he gets the rent money and the property isn't damaged. I wouldn't put anybody I know in that house with her, and her friend isn't going to pay to live there when he stays there all the time for nothing. I'm going to tell the landlord about the unwanted guest but the worst he is going to do is tell her to not let him stay there any longer, and that's not even the half of the problem. This forum is my last resort, short of paying hundreds or thousands to a lawyer, which I can't afford, and by the time it was resolved the lease would be up anyway.

I'm hoping that someone knows of some contractual or legal clause related to this kind of situation that I don't have to pay a lawyer to tell me about????

Thank You...i'm still all ears!!!!

**A: man you are going every which way on this thread and not sticking to the real facts of the matter. Do not write any of your feelings or non relevant diatribe. Now let's try this again. What exactly did your landlord tell you when you asked about terminating your lease or getting a new roommate?

 

[rogvalcox]

**A: man you are going every which way on this thread and not sticking to the real facts of the matter. Do not write any of your feelings or non relevant diatribe. Now let's try this again. What exactly did your landlord tell you when you asked about terminating your lease or getting a new roommate?

I Apologize if I have a tendency to ramble a little bit but it is a rather stressfull situation, so i'm sure you can understand if I occasionally get on my soap box for a bit, and I would rather explain every possible detail, then having to continueally post replys answering questions.


FIRST OF ALL: You said talk to the landlord and I told you I did, and went into some details so there wouldn't be a bunch of questions, when I can just explain it all in one attempt!! I either have to leave and continue to pay, or find someone to replace me on the lease.

SECOND OF ALL: The fact of the matter is that i'm trying to find a way to get out of this miserable situation without having to pay and exhorbitent amount of money!!

THIRD OF ALL: If you talk to 100 landlords I would bet you that ATLEAST 90 percent of them would tell you that they don't care what kind of personal problems you are having with your roommate and that you signed a lease so you have a legal obligation to pay them whatever was agreed on. They are not going to go out of their way to get you out of a situation that is going to cost them money!! That is part fact and part feelings!!

Once again I Apologize for getting on my soapbox,but this situation is driving me nuts!!

Thank You

 

[HomeGuru]

I Apologize if I have a tendency to ramble a little bit but it is a rather stressfull situation, so i'm sure you can understand if I occasionally get on my soap box for a bit, and I would rather explain every possible detail, then having to continueally post replys answering questions.

**A: Ok, understood.
********

FIRST OF ALL: You said talk to the landlord and I told you I did, and went into some details so there wouldn't be a bunch of questions, when I can just explain it all in one attempt!! I either have to leave and continue to pay, or find someone to replace me on the lease.

**A: then that is your answer coming from the horse. The only person that matters in this case is the horse; the landlord. Landlord rules.
******
SECOND OF ALL: The fact of the matter is that i'm trying to find a way to get out of this miserable situation without having to pay and exhorbitent amount of money!!

**A: and the only person that can help you is the horse.
*********

THIRD OF ALL: If you talk to 100 landlords I would bet you that ATLEAST 90 percent of them would tell you that they don't care what kind of personal problems you are having with your roommate and that you signed a lease so you have a legal obligation to pay them whatever was agreed on. They are not going to go out of their way to get you out of a situation that is going to cost them money!! That is part fact and part feelings!!


**A: there you go again, Your issue does not involve 100 landlords, 50 or even 99 landords. It invovles only 1 landlord whcih is YOUR landlord. So it does not matter what the other landlords care about or don't care about.
*********
Once again I Apologize for getting on my soapbox,but this situation is driving me nuts!!

**A: take a chill pill.
*******
Thank You

**A: ok..................

 

[rogvalcox]

Ok I don't mean to be rude but when I write in to a forum to ask a question, I would appreciate it if it is taken into consideration the aggravation that a person is going into and they don't want to be talked down to like you have done to me!!!! I was simply apologizeing and trying to explain to you the reason for my getting on the soapbox and writing extensive explanations, and you still come back with "MAN YOU ARE GOING EVERY WHICH WAY ON THIS THREAD", AND "TAKE A CHILL PILL". If you don't have the patience to read my questions and responses and to help me out, then I will wait and hope someone else will come along with an answer, or I guess i'll just have to go to another forum, otherwise don't talk down to me and tell me to take a chill pill, especially when I answered your question. I don't remember exactly word for word how the landlord said it, but it boiled down to either, buy your way out or find someone to take over your lease!!! He wasn't rude or mean or anything. I was just hoping to find another option than what he gave me.

Once again i'm sorry if I came off the wrong way, but don't talk down to me and tell me how to write a question that I am just trying to explain every possible detail that I can think of at the time and trying to eliminate questions before they are asked.

That being said...If you are still interested in helping me, I would be more than interested in what you have to say, and I will try my best to answer your question and stay on the subject!!!!

Thank You

 

[HomeGuru]

Ok I don't mean to be rude but when I write in to a forum to ask a question, I would appreciate it if it is taken into consideration the aggravation that a person is going into and they don't want to be talked down to like you have done to me!!!! I was simply apologizeing and trying to explain to you the reason for my getting on the soapbox and writing extensive explanations, and you still come back with "MAN YOU ARE GOING EVERY WHICH WAY ON THIS THREAD", AND "TAKE A CHILL PILL". If you don't have the patience to read my questions and responses and to help me out, then I will wait and hope someone else will come along with an answer, or I guess i'll just have to go to another forum, otherwise don't talk down to me and tell me to take a chill pill, especially when I answered your question. I don't remember exactly word for word how the landlord said it, but it boiled down to either, buy your way out or find someone to take over your lease!!! He wasn't rude or mean or anything. I was just hoping to find another option than what he gave me.

Once again i'm sorry if I came off the wrong way, but don't talk down to me and tell me how to write a question that I am just trying to explain every possible detail that I can think of at the time and trying to eliminate questions before they are asked.

That being said...If you are still interested in helping me, I would be more than interested in what you have to say, and I will try my best to answer your question and stay on the subject!!!!

Thank You

**A: look here, I make a living dealing with real estate legal issues and in order to win a case, I need to get the vital and complete facts, not I think, I guess, I don't remember or whatever. I apologize if your feelings got hurt but I am not here to baby any writer, play violins, hear sob stories or say, I feel your pain, now there there it will be all better soon. This is a legal advice forum and not a Dear Abby or Dr. Phil type website. If you wanted to get to the bottom of things and receive solid legal advice, I was here to help you. I do not deal in emotions and have no crying towel to share. If you think that i was talking down to you, you need to get a life and a reality check.

 

[UNCLEBUCK]

"you need to get a life and a reality check."
Thank you HomeGuru for your eloquent rant. May I suggest that you also take a chill pill.

rogvalcox,

I doubt very much that you could get out of the lease using technically legal means. Having said that, I'd like to share with you a situation that a friend who owns rental propery [the landlord] experienced. The situation was very similar to yours. One of his tenents talked to him, telling him of the situation. Of course the landlord told the tenent it wasn't his problem. At a later date the tenent talked to him again, telling him it was at the point where he HAD to move out. The tenent made it clear that he understood he was under a legal, and moral obligation to honor the lease, and that he didn't want to burn any bridges. But he would not have the money to pay the remainder of the lease. The landlord actually worked out a deal with him. The tenent didn't walk away without paying anything, but he certainly saved a lot of money. And the landlord found someone to take a portion of the remainder of the lease.
I know this is a long shot. But at this point I'm thinking that it certainly couldn't hurt to try again.
I wish you the best with this. Let me know how it turns out.

 

[rogvalcox]

Thank You Unclebuck...for being patien with me!!!!

Unfortunately, the landlord is not interested in making any deals, other than....either buy my way out of the lease, or if I (not him) find someone to take over my part of the lease and he approves them then I could get out of the legal binding. Unfortunately for me....I'm not going to put anyone I know into my place, and I'm sure you can understand where I am coming from!! Anyone that the roommate know can't afford it and they are about in the shape she's in!!

That is why I was hoping that there was something legal that I could do, that the landlord is not telling me. Ofcourse he isn't going to tell me how I can cause him to lose money!! I would even be willing to scare her with something along the lines of a court proceeding to sue her for the rest of the lease, or something along that line, but not only do I not know if I can do that, but that might end up costing me more money and time that if I just stick it out!!!! That put me right back to square one!!

Thank You for the input though!!!

And for you Homeguru....I feel extremely sorry for anybody that would pay you money to help them out of an unfortunate circumstace!!!!

 

[newlywed03]

put an ad in the paper for someone to take your spot. Don't mention nightmare roomate - if anything just the opposite. If you really want to have fun, find someone as jacked up as your current roomate.

2nd option - paybacks are a bitch. if there's currently only 1 phone line, cancel it and have one installed in your room only. Cable - same thing. Put the lock on your door - and make sure it's a good one. Spend a couple of late nights making A LOT of noise, thus disturbing the roomate and child & guest. Vacume at 2 am - tell her since she's not cleaning, you need to do it when it's convenient for you. Get a PO box at the post office and have your mail delivered there, then she can't hide anything from you. If needed, get a tiny fridge to put in your room and don't leave ANY food in the common area.

In case you haven't figured it out, she's TRYING to drive you out. If you move out and continue to pay your part of the rent, then quite honestly you're stupid, because this is exactly what she wants you to do. Think about the condition the place will be left when she takes off, leaving you to pay for the damages (and you WILL have to pay since you are still on the lease). Stop being the victim - your landlord obviously isn't going to help you, and unless you want to pay for a lawyer you are on your own.

Make her life miserable, maybe she will take the hint and get the hell out. you have 4-5 months left on your lease? stay 1/2 that, and then buy your way out if you need to.