• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Filed for Custody

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Gracie3787

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

I have filed for custody of my 15 & 13 year old children. Both kids have expressed to their mother and I that they wish to live with me full time. Both kids want to talk to the judge and in my motion I asked that they be able to talk to the judge or Guardian Ad Litem without their mother or me being present so they could talk openly. Is this sufficient or is their yet another motion I need to file? Should I ask my kids if they want to write statements?
No, your children should not write statements.

You can file form 12.944 Motion For Testimony and Attendance of Minor Child(ren) to ask the court to allow thier testimony. You can find the form at Florida State Courts just click on Family Law Forms.
 


It seems strange to me that your daughter accepts so readily you restricting overnights with her friend, if Mom is allowing it. What else is going on? Because knowing teens, and having been a naughty one myself, the parent that allows more freedom (wrong or right) usually as an edge. I just feel like something is missing with this story.
 

junebug73

Junior Member
Actually it does NOT have to come out at the custody hearing. That is a CHOICE you are making.
Yes, it is a choice and I feel it is important to bring up that my 15 year olds Mother is allowing her to spend the night with her lover and have sex.

Really? You KNOW that your daughter would engage in sex with this person? You know that she would have a sexual relationship with this person? You know that that has happened in the past AND you can PROVE it? If not then you cannot say that.
Yes, I KNOW that my daughter is having sex with this person because she has told me.

Good opinion. And the law supports you. But rather than using this as a point of attack, have you talked to your daughter about this?

Of course I have talked with my daughter about it. I have told her that spending the night with her girlfriend will not be allowed if she lives with me. She is fine with that however, she's certainly going to take advantage of her Mother allowing her to do it. I am not using this as a "point of attack" rather one of many issues in why it is in the best interest of my children to live with me instead of their Mother. Custody cases are ugly, I didn't make them that way. From what I've been told, I'm the one that has to PROVE why living with me is in their best interest.

You were a teenager. You know what you felt like. You can't TALK to your daughter? But you can announce it in open court?

I really don't understand how you JUMPED to the conclusion that I can't or don't talk to my daughter. The fact is, we have great communication. I have no intention of ANNOUNCING in court that my daughter is being allowed to spend the night and have sex with her lover. I do feel however that it is one of many important factors that will be brought up.


What exactly is going on?

Let's see...the Mother of my 15 year old is allowing her to spend the night with her lover knowing that they are having sex. I can't make the answer to this question any more clear. The sad thing here is that this has become a thread about my daughter's sex life instead of focusing on the two basic questions that I initially asked.

You are 100% positive that your daughter has a 14 year old lover? You are 100% definite about that/ Truthfully that is not important for the judge to know so much as it is something that is important for YOU to deal with. You sound like someone who cannot deal with it and expects the court to parent. Back up about 10 paces and determine what it is you actually KNOW. Then determine what it is you are afraid of. Then determine how you can approach your daughter for an adult conversation about this entire subject. And then make decisions based on fact, not fear or assumptions.
YES, I am 100% positive my daughter has a 14 year old lover. Yes, I feel very strongly...100% that this is something that the judge should know. It will be dealt with if my daughter lives with me. I can't possibly do anything about it if she is living with her Mother and her Mother is allowing it to happen. What would you suggest I do? After backing up 10 paces this IS what I know. I don't jump to conclusions, I talk to my kids . The only fear I have is that this issue could negatively affect my daughter. I don't believe that me being concerned for my daughter makes me wrong or validates ripping my post apart.

What if this was your child and the other parent was allowing them to spend the night with their lover knowing they were having sex? What would you do? Would you think it was important in a custody case then? Please enlighten me as to what you would do if you were standing in my shoes because regardless of any opinion you may have, it's not an easy situation to be in. My daughter is not a baby but she's not a grown woman either and she does need guidance...that's supposed to come from her parents.

I came to this site for help because I didn't know where else to turn. Unfortunately, I've found very little help here at this point. What I have found seems like just another chat with a whole lot of people giving opinions on specific things they pick out of a post and not a whole lot of helpful opinions, brainstorming or advice on how to deal with certain situations. This has become a thread about my daughters sex life which was most certainly not my intention and yes, it frustrates me.

At this point, thank you to the few that have offered anything helpful. As for the rest, I would rather walk through this on my own and ignorant than to come here and have people make me feel like I'm a horrible Father because I love my children and believe that the Mother of my children is WRONG and SICK for allowing my daughter to spend the night and have sex with her lover. No one, and I do mean no one will change my opinion of that. I want what is best for my daughter and I do NOT believe at 15 she can make that kind of mature decision. I am their Father and it is my responsibility to keep my children safe, teach them good values and help them become caring, responsible adults.

For those of you out there dealing with the stress of custody issues and taking care of your children; I wish you luck and hope you find the help & support you need to get through this difficult time.
 
Last edited:

junebug73

Junior Member
It seems strange to me that your daughter accepts so readily you restricting overnights with her friend, if Mom is allowing it. What else is going on? Because knowing teens, and having been a naughty one myself, the parent that allows more freedom (wrong or right) usually as an edge. I just feel like something is missing with this story.
I didn't say she likes it, she does understand it. I'm not telling her she can't date the girl or have the girl come to the house. They just won't be allowed to spend the night together. Of course she's having a great time doing it while she's living with her Mother...what teenager wouldn't?

There is no story here, I posted asking 2 questions. I didn't post every detail of this custody situation so yes there is a whole lot missing in why my children should not live with their Mother. My children don't want to live with their Mother and they should not have to for many good reasons. Both of my children want to testify against their Mother...IMO, enough said. That doesn't mean they won't take advantage of what she's letting them do while we wait for our time in court. There's not a whole lot I can do until then.

Posting to this reply since I saw it right after I put my last post up.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Actually there is one more thing to say. Your daughter can very well find herself arrested. Hae you educated her on that? Or did you leave that out of the conversation? Oh and you know about and haven't stopped it hence you are an accomplice after the fact.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Here's what I don't understand... You've complained that the only issue people are focusing on is that of your daughter's sexuality, and that there are many other issues at play. Yet... the only one you have deigned to bring up is her sexuality and the overnights. If things are otherwise that bad, you should really have enough to leave her sex life out of it.

I see your children testifying as a problem. They've both indicated to you that they will take advantage of the freedoms Mom allows, yet they intend to complain that Mom allows them. If you expect them to be mature enough to have their opinions heard, then that's not going to impress a judge. Ya know?
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top