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lovehopes

New member
What is the name of your state? I live in Washington state. My mom and her husband are both in an Assisted Living Facility (for the past 10 months) My mom has Dementia and I have POA of both her and her husband.

It's hard to explain, but he has used my mom financially since they've known each other (30 years) - he is an alcoholic and all the problems that come with that. Currently, the administration of the place they are living is saying that if he continues certain behaviors that he will be asked to leave. My mom will be allowed to stay - she couldn't handle moving.

The concern is that if he is asked to leave, my assumption is that my mom will have to pay for wherever he ends up living, which she could not afford. Let me rephrase that - she can afford it for a while, but then he will have used up the rest of her money and she will have nothing to live on in a short time.

I was told that if my mom files for a legal separation that she would be protected financially. I have gotten conflicting responses to that, so I don't know if indeed she would be protected or if she would need to file for a divorce instead.

This is a very complicated situation and for that reason, I am not able to fill in all the details. There is not one thing that my mom likes about her husband that would outweigh all the bad things, but she's an extreme enabler of him. He contributes nothing to their marriage, and I don't just mean financially - NOTHING! She would have divorced him long ago if she had the strength to do so; but as far as she's concerned, what would her purpose in life be if he weren't there to "take care of/enable"?

So basically , I need to know how I can protect my mom from her husband's one last attempt to drain her dry financially if he gets asked to leave from the facility. Legal Separation? Divorce? Anything else?

Thank you
 


adjusterjack

Senior Member
Legal Separation? Divorce?
Your mother has dementia so those two aren't likely to happen. POAs don't count for those things.

Guardianship or conservatorship are probably better avenues because they enable you to take control of her finances away from her so if he gets tossed out her money is safe.

Consult an attorney about that.
 

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