First refusal clause

[denise_whitman]

In my parenting plan, there is a first refusal clause that states verbatim: "Each parent shall have the right of first refusal to care for [child's name] should the other parent require third-party child care for two (2) or more hours during his/her parenting time. Parties will provide as much notice to the other party as possible and shall provide a reasonable time for the parent being provided the option to care for [child's name] and an opportunity to answer."

I have to leave town for 2 days for a business trip and this is how the conversation went:

ME: I may have to go out of town on a business trip in the next few months. The dates that I will be gone will bump into the days that I have [child's name]. I would like to ask you about switching days while I am gone. I would like to make up the days when I get back which would be Thursday after school to Saturday 1130 am of the same week.

EX: Please elaborate. I need more information. The schedule is set and I'm reluctant to deviate from it.

ME: What do you need?

EX: If you need me to watch him while you're on your trip, I'd be happy to do that. But I'd prefer to do it without an adjustment to the schedule. I think this would fit into the Section C. Part 8-Right of First refusal clause in the parenting plan. Just let me know the dates.

The conversation, as you can probably see, doesn't get any better. By him saying the first time that he is reluctant to deviate from the schedule. Could that be viewed as him refusing? This is not the first time he has done this with my requests. What are the repercussions of him continuing to refuse me seeing my son when I have to leave town on business?

 

[LdiJ]

In my parenting plan, there is a first refusal clause that states verbatim: "Each parent shall have the right of first refusal to care for [child's name] should the other parent require third-party child care for two (2) or more hours during his/her parenting time. Parties will provide as much notice to the other party as possible and shall provide a reasonable time for the parent being provided the option to care for [child's name] and an opportunity to answer."

I have to leave town for 2 days for a business trip and this is how the conversation went:

ME: I may have to go out of town on a business trip in the next few months. The dates that I will be gone will bump into the days that I have [child's name]. I would like to ask you about switching days while I am gone. I would like to make up the days when I get back which would be Thursday after school to Saturday 1130 am of the same week.

EX: Please elaborate. I need more information. The schedule is set and I'm reluctant to deviate from it.

ME: What do you need?

EX: If you need me to watch him while you're on your trip, I'd be happy to do that. But I'd prefer to do it without an adjustment to the schedule. I think this would fit into the Section C. Part 8-Right of First refusal clause in the parenting plan. Just let me know the dates.

The conversation, as you can probably see, doesn't get any better. By him saying the first time that he is reluctant to deviate from the schedule. Could that be viewed as him refusing? This is not the first time he has done this with my requests. What are the repercussions of him continuing to refuse me seeing my son when I have to leave town on business?

You are asking him for makeup time...to trade days. He absolutely does not have to agree to that. Right of First Refusal does not require makeup time. It simply requires you to offer time that you would be away from home, to the other parent. There are no repercussions on him for not agreeing to give you makeup time.

To the extent that you can, you might try arranging your business trips to be during the time that he normally has the child.