First Right of Refusal?

[ElizabethMason]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

What is the definition of "First Right of Refusal?"

Here's the situation:

My ex husband says he has first right of refusal to pick up our daughter everyday afterschool from the Nanny even though he only has custody of her every other weekend.

It's not stated in our custody agreement that he has first right of refusal but he claims that it's automatic in CA?

Is this true?

Thank you.

 

[Banned_Princess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

What is the definition of "First Right of Refusal?"

Here's the situation:

My ex husband says he has first right of refusal to pick up our daughter everyday afterschool from the Nanny even though he only has custody of her every other weekend.

It's not stated in our custody agreement that he has first right of refusal but he claims that it's automatic in CA?

Is this true?

Thank you.

What is the reason you dont want to allow the childs father to have her when you are at work?

You should allow him to be with his daughter whenever he can, not just as the agreement states.

Better a child to be with a parent then a nanny.

 

[ElizabethMason]

What is the reason you dont want to allow the childs father to have her when you are at work?

You should allow him to be with his daughter whenever he can, not just as the agreement states.

Better a child to be with a parent then a nanny.

I don't have a problem with our child being with her father but he's taking it to the extreme. He picks up the child from school when it's not his custodial time, which is confusing our child because I tell her that the nanny is picking her up and then dad shows up out of the blue and she doesn't know what to do. The child is only with the nanny for an 1/2hr before I get her but now since he's claiming "First Right of Refusal" he's been picking her up and I don't know where she is. He refuse to answer my calls when I call him and when he does he says he has first right of refusal he'll keep her until he wants to drop her off that day.

Again, I need clarification on "First Right of Refusal' and does he have this right to do this?

Thank you.

 

[Sunnyone83]

I could be wrong, so wait for a senior, but I don't think first right of refusal is automatic and is not used unless it is in the custody agreement.

That being said, typically FROF is for when you are unavailable for a certain number of hours and would then need to offer those hours to other parent.
And FROF would only give him the time that you are unavailable, not the whole day or as much time as he wants..

 

[Banned_Princess]

I don't have a problem with our child being with her father but he's taking it to the extreme. He picks up the child from school when it's not his custodial time, which is confusing our child because I tell her that the nanny is picking her up and then dad shows up out of the blue and she doesn't know what to do

That is very confusing for the daughter, I see your point.

. The child is only with the nanny for an 1/2hr before I get her but now since he's claiming "First Right of Refusal" he's been picking her up and I don't know where she is

How old is your daughter? I have given mine (10) a cell phone to call me in the event of something that confuses her, or she is unsure of.

He refuse to answer my calls when I call him and when he does he says he has first right of refusal he'll keep her until he wants to drop her off that day.

Hm, that is taking it to extremes.

Again, I need clarification on "First Right of Refusal' and does he have this right to do this?

I am going to venture that nothing is "standard, and automatic" If you have a agreement, signed into the courts, then you follow that agreement. if it does not address ROFR then there is no ROFR.

I would say that you should have your daughter picked up by the nanny in the school office, and have dad go to court to modify the custody agreement if he doesn't like it.

And buy your daughter a cell phone.

 

[profmum]

I don't have a problem with our child being with her father but he's taking it to the extreme. He picks up the child from school when it's not his custodial time, which is confusing our child because I tell her that the nanny is picking her up and then dad shows up out of the blue and she doesn't know what to do. The child is only with the nanny for an 1/2hr before I get her but now since he's claiming "First Right of Refusal" he's been picking her up and I don't know where she is. He refuse to answer my calls when I call him and when he does he says he has first right of refusal he'll keep her until he wants to drop her off that day.

Again, I need clarification on "First Right of Refusal' and does he have this right to do this?

Thank you.

FROR is NOT automatic, it has to be either agreed upon or ordered by the courts. Tell Dad to quit intruding on your parenting time by taking the child and returning her when he feels like it or he is looking at a contempt charge. If you and Dad are agreeable to FROR, then by all means get it ratified by the courts with the "conditions" around FROR carefully spelled out.