13sierra32
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI
My ex-husband and I are divorced with one child- 50/50 everything, no maintenance, no child support. I just recently got engaged and will be moving in with my fiancee and his two teenage sons soon- and I'm wondering what the "rules" are with regard to non-school days.
Typically, when my son doesn't have school on one of my days, I would either take the day off (which I can't do forever) or could send him to school-aged care for the day (where he goes for before and after school care on my weeks already). In the past, I have asked his dad (who has a more flexible work schedule) if he wants to take him for the day, and he has. He has voiced that he would like to be offered the option of taking him for the day if I am planning to use the school-aged care option, and when it was just me at home, I was okay with that...but now that we are going to be a new "blended" family, my fiancee works from home, and his 14 and16 year-old stepbrothers-to-be and my son love to spend time together- can I just let him stay home on his days off? I realize that I can try- but if dad says something, and threatens to take it to court (which he may)- is this where right of first refusal comes into play and dad wins?
I think my main question is if it's just that simple: dad wins over legal stranger(s), even with status quo, best interest and/or preference of the child, etc- or do those things matter? I won't argue it if needed- but may need to know the legal "bottom line" if things were to get messy...I don't want to cause an issue for my son with a battle if I don't need to- he's number one and it's about him.
Also, a few important points:
1. I will always offer to send him to his dad's if school-aged care is the only option.
2. I am NOT trying to keep my son from his dad, but he's 6, and has struggled in the past when we've mixed our transitions from the 7 days on/7 days off schedule...so keeping him home on my weeks might be best for him in general?
3. Dad is also engaged and living with blended family- and I have never heard from him on a day that our son doesn't have school on his weeks (likely due to his flexible schedule).
4. Divorce papers are the standard forms, we didn't have attorneys, and I wrote up an "addendum" myself that we both agreed to, signed, and filed with the court that states: Both spouses maintain first right of refusal if the custodial parent is unable to care for the child. (Yes, it's not well thought out and lacks specifics, but that's what you get when you have a "simpleton" with a teaching degree write up a legal document- it's cheaper, but...well- hindsight and all....
My ex-husband and I are divorced with one child- 50/50 everything, no maintenance, no child support. I just recently got engaged and will be moving in with my fiancee and his two teenage sons soon- and I'm wondering what the "rules" are with regard to non-school days.
Typically, when my son doesn't have school on one of my days, I would either take the day off (which I can't do forever) or could send him to school-aged care for the day (where he goes for before and after school care on my weeks already). In the past, I have asked his dad (who has a more flexible work schedule) if he wants to take him for the day, and he has. He has voiced that he would like to be offered the option of taking him for the day if I am planning to use the school-aged care option, and when it was just me at home, I was okay with that...but now that we are going to be a new "blended" family, my fiancee works from home, and his 14 and16 year-old stepbrothers-to-be and my son love to spend time together- can I just let him stay home on his days off? I realize that I can try- but if dad says something, and threatens to take it to court (which he may)- is this where right of first refusal comes into play and dad wins?
I think my main question is if it's just that simple: dad wins over legal stranger(s), even with status quo, best interest and/or preference of the child, etc- or do those things matter? I won't argue it if needed- but may need to know the legal "bottom line" if things were to get messy...I don't want to cause an issue for my son with a battle if I don't need to- he's number one and it's about him.
Also, a few important points:
1. I will always offer to send him to his dad's if school-aged care is the only option.
2. I am NOT trying to keep my son from his dad, but he's 6, and has struggled in the past when we've mixed our transitions from the 7 days on/7 days off schedule...so keeping him home on my weeks might be best for him in general?
3. Dad is also engaged and living with blended family- and I have never heard from him on a day that our son doesn't have school on his weeks (likely due to his flexible schedule).
4. Divorce papers are the standard forms, we didn't have attorneys, and I wrote up an "addendum" myself that we both agreed to, signed, and filed with the court that states: Both spouses maintain first right of refusal if the custodial parent is unable to care for the child. (Yes, it's not well thought out and lacks specifics, but that's what you get when you have a "simpleton" with a teaching degree write up a legal document- it's cheaper, but...well- hindsight and all....
