What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN
We have the divorce decree. In it, it states ex's supposed to pay for a specific loan (I tried to get ex to refinance but because he played games, he screwed up his credit and can't). He's also supposed to have paid me XXX for back support. Ex agreed on a date 3 months later. Ex never paid, and kept telling me he would, yet didn't. After that, and the fact that he didn't pay the loan payments for months (I had to make payments), I took ex to court for contempt. Judge gave him a second chance to make it right and told him he had 3 months to get me the money. In the order, judge wrote ex was to keep all loan payments current, and ex was to pay back amount by XXX or I was directed to contact the court and judge will find for attorney's fees and contempt.
Ex never was current during those months, and for more than 3 months after (takes 4 months to get anything heard). Ex was late in paying the back support as well (by a few days, I'll admit, and honestly was ok with that, if everything else wasn't happening as well). I ended up paying again for loan payment. Contacted court and we went back, showing the pattern (which, fyi, every DAY that he's late paying, I get 8-16 phone calls looking for their payment - they take it easy on Sunday and only call 6-8 times woo hoo), also showed that he was late with child support (2 months again). Showed emails from him saying he made a loan payment and didn't (lying to myself and all attorneys), showed the bills that documented when he did and didn't pay and what the due dates were and what months they weren't met, showed emails regarding how I needed to do specific things in order for him to give me the remainder of child support for months. Had everything documented and presented. His defense was that he lost his job and couldn't pay it all, and was trying to play catch up. He said he got a new job 2 weeks later. And funny part was, during that time I actually asked him about that and he denied it, because I could very well understand being late for that reason (I do have a heart, contrary to popular belief of the ex) and would have had no problem working with him on paying it to me and wouldn't have done this if that was the case. I also asked why the other months were an issue, because by the date he said he lost his job, that he still should have been current for 4 months. He kept saying that losing his job months later caused all that. He also claims I didn't notify him of making the payment, even though I presented the email to show that I did notify him, as well as a copy of the statement from the loan company.
Just got the order. No contempt, no attorney's fees, not a darned thing except an order for him to pay me back the loan payment by mid-April. I'm not certain what else I could have presented for the judge to find for contempt. I'm not a witch, I do understand these things happen and can work with ex (losing the job and being behind), but want him to understand he needs to adhere to his part of the decree and order, just as I have to with my part (which I have). I'm having a tough time accepting this because I feel that the judge is not holding him accountable for his actions, and by not finding him in contempt, is giving him permission to only adhere to the parts of the order and decree that he wants (which he has alluded to before, in only doing what he wants to). Or am I reading this incorrectly? I'm hoping the seniors here can help me understand what I did wrong, to help prevent wasting my time and money for future reference.
Thanks
We have the divorce decree. In it, it states ex's supposed to pay for a specific loan (I tried to get ex to refinance but because he played games, he screwed up his credit and can't). He's also supposed to have paid me XXX for back support. Ex agreed on a date 3 months later. Ex never paid, and kept telling me he would, yet didn't. After that, and the fact that he didn't pay the loan payments for months (I had to make payments), I took ex to court for contempt. Judge gave him a second chance to make it right and told him he had 3 months to get me the money. In the order, judge wrote ex was to keep all loan payments current, and ex was to pay back amount by XXX or I was directed to contact the court and judge will find for attorney's fees and contempt.
Ex never was current during those months, and for more than 3 months after (takes 4 months to get anything heard). Ex was late in paying the back support as well (by a few days, I'll admit, and honestly was ok with that, if everything else wasn't happening as well). I ended up paying again for loan payment. Contacted court and we went back, showing the pattern (which, fyi, every DAY that he's late paying, I get 8-16 phone calls looking for their payment - they take it easy on Sunday and only call 6-8 times woo hoo), also showed that he was late with child support (2 months again). Showed emails from him saying he made a loan payment and didn't (lying to myself and all attorneys), showed the bills that documented when he did and didn't pay and what the due dates were and what months they weren't met, showed emails regarding how I needed to do specific things in order for him to give me the remainder of child support for months. Had everything documented and presented. His defense was that he lost his job and couldn't pay it all, and was trying to play catch up. He said he got a new job 2 weeks later. And funny part was, during that time I actually asked him about that and he denied it, because I could very well understand being late for that reason (I do have a heart, contrary to popular belief of the ex) and would have had no problem working with him on paying it to me and wouldn't have done this if that was the case. I also asked why the other months were an issue, because by the date he said he lost his job, that he still should have been current for 4 months. He kept saying that losing his job months later caused all that. He also claims I didn't notify him of making the payment, even though I presented the email to show that I did notify him, as well as a copy of the statement from the loan company.
Just got the order. No contempt, no attorney's fees, not a darned thing except an order for him to pay me back the loan payment by mid-April. I'm not certain what else I could have presented for the judge to find for contempt. I'm not a witch, I do understand these things happen and can work with ex (losing the job and being behind), but want him to understand he needs to adhere to his part of the decree and order, just as I have to with my part (which I have). I'm having a tough time accepting this because I feel that the judge is not holding him accountable for his actions, and by not finding him in contempt, is giving him permission to only adhere to the parts of the order and decree that he wants (which he has alluded to before, in only doing what he wants to). Or am I reading this incorrectly? I'm hoping the seniors here can help me understand what I did wrong, to help prevent wasting my time and money for future reference.
Thanks