Former girlfriend of my son made false accusations. Wife is threatening divorce

[Mrjimbov]

Indiana

A former girlfriend of my son, posted a public comment, to my wife, on Fakebook, saying that I propositioned her to have sex with me for money. My wife is now threatening me with divorce. the girl has emotional issues, which is one of the reasons my son dumped her, but I'm considering suing her.

 

[quincy]

Indiana

A former girlfriend of my son, posted a public comment, to my wife, on Fakebook, saying that I propositioned her to have sex with me for money. My wife is now threatening me with divorce. the girl has emotional issues, which is one of the reasons my son dumped her, but I'm considering suing her.

If what was published was false and your reputation has suffered as a result, you can first notify Facebook of the false information being posted about you, and then you can send (or have an attorney send) a cease and desist letter to your son’s ex-girlfriend, telling her to remove and fully retract the falsehoods.

If she ignores the cease and desist or refuses to meet your demands, let her know that you are considering a defamation lawsuit.

Defamation lawsuits tend to be extremely costly legal actions so should not be considered unless the reputational injury suffered is severe and all other options have been considered first.

Good luck.

Here is a link to Indiana defamation law:
http://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/indiana-defamation-law

 

[zddoodah]

A former girlfriend of my son, posted a public comment, to my wife, on Fakebook, saying that I propositioned her to have sex with me for money. My wife is now threatening me with divorce. the girl has emotional issues, which is one of the reasons my son dumped her, but I'm considering suing her.

Bummer. Do you have a question?

Keep in mind that, if your wife is seriously contemplating divorce based on an (apparently unproven) allegation by an ex-girlfriend of your son, then your marriage was already on the rocks.

 

[Zigner]

Keep in mind that, if your wife is seriously contemplating divorce based on an (apparently unproven) allegation by an ex-girlfriend of your son, then your marriage was already on the rocks.

Well said - I was thinking the same thing...

 

[Just Blue]

Well said - I was thinking the same thing...

I was as well. There is a reason that the wife is so willing to listen to/believe the accusations of son's ex girlfriend that son stopped seeing because she has "emotional issues".

 

[not2cleverRed]

Interesting posting hx:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/is-it-normal-for-a-judge-to-do-this.652220/

I agree with the other seniors and @zddoodah : only an already shaky marriage would be threatened by allegations by a "girl with emotional issues".

Your son has a history of romantic entanglements that go wrong, and you view him as blameless in all. He's an adult with children. He shouldn't date "girls". He should get his act together, be a dad, and wait until the children are older for dating, and then he should date women, not girls.

 

[quincy]

... Keep in mind that, if your wife is seriously contemplating divorce based on an (apparently unproven) allegation by an ex-girlfriend of your son, then your marriage was already on the rocks.

The thing about defamation is that falsehoods sow seeds of doubt about a person (or an entity) that you otherwise had no reason to doubt. No matter how much you want to believe what was said is false, the damage is already done with the publication of the lie.

Even strong marriages can crumble under the weight of a false claim of infidelity.

That is one reason why a defamation lawsuit can be helpful. It can help a person (or entity) clean up a sullied reputation and restore trust - assuming the lawsuit is successful (and there is no guarantee that it will be).

In other words, I don’t think it’s true that the marriage was necessarily “on the rocks” before the false statements were made.

We have seen as a country how easily widespread lies can destroy reputations (and entities), regardless of how much faith you placed in the person/entity previously. This is why you have Dominion pursuing a $1.3 billion dollar defamation lawsuit against Sidney Powell.

 

[zddoodah]

Interesting posting hx

Interesting indeed.

That post tells me that, from September 2018 until at least March 2019, the OP's son was engaged in a divorce proceeding. It also tells me that, within four months after filing for divorce and with one still-infant child, the OP's son had already taken up with a "new girlfriend" who was involving herself to such a degree as to be attending court proceedings. Is the "new girlfriend" mentioned in the prior thread the same person now being referred to as a "former girlfriend" with "emotional issues."

Of course, none of this is particularly relevant to the current thread other than to suggest that the OP's son exercises terrible judgment in choosing romantic/sexual partners.

 

[quincy]

Mrjimbov might be smart to limit interactions with his son.

 

[Zigner]

Of course, none of this is particularly relevant to the current thread other than to suggest that the OP's son lacks terrible judgment in choosing romantic/sexual partners.

I think it suggests exactly the opposite...there is plenty of terrible judgment.
Of course, we knew what you meant

 

[quincy]

If Mrjimbov is grandfather to the ex-girlfriend’s child, he is not in an enviable position, if he wants to maintain contact with his grandchild. Red suggested Mrjimbov get counseling. Counseling might be important for everyone in the family.

 

[bracknelson]

The thing about defamation is that falsehoods sow seeds of doubt about a person (or an entity) that you otherwise had no reason to doubt. No matter how much you want to believe what was said is false, the damage is already done with the publication of the lie.

Even strong marriages can crumble under the weight of a false claim of infidelity.

That is one reason why a defamation lawsuit can be helpful. It can help a person (or entity) clean up a sullied reputation and restore trust - assuming the lawsuit is successful (and there is no guarantee that it will be).

In other words, I don’t think it’s true that the marriage was necessarily “on the rocks” before the false statements were made.

We have seen as a country how easily widespread lies can destroy reputations (and entities), regardless of how much faith you placed in the person/entity previously. This is why you have Dominion pursuing a $1.3 billion dollar defamation lawsuit against Sidney Powell.

I totally agree with your point that a single false accusation could destroy a long term relationship. But how does a defamation lawsuit actually work and in which circumstances can we use this?

 

[quincy]

I totally agree with your point that a single false accusation could destroy a long term relationship. But how does a defamation lawsuit actually work and in which circumstances can we use this?

How do defamation lawsuits work and when can they be used?

Defamation lawsuits are civil (tort) actions filed after false statements have been published to at least one person other than the person defamed and harm to the person’s reputation results from these statements.

There are five essential elements to a defamation claim that must be present if the plaintiff (the one filing suit) hopes to be successful with his suit. These necessary elements are publication, identification, defamation, fault, and injury. If one of these elements is missing, the suit will fail.

Briefly: Publication is the circulation of a statement about the plaintiff. Identification is showing the statement refers to the plaintiff. Defamation is a false statement of fact that injures the reputation of the plaintiff. Fault is the publication of a false statement with negligence (without the due care used by an average person of ordinary sensibilities) or with actual malice (knowledge of falsity or with reckless disregard of truth or falsity). And injury can be economic (out of pocket money) loss, or impairment of reputation and standing in the community, or personal humiliation, or mental anguish and suffering (as noted by the US Supreme Court in Gertz v. Robert Welch, Inc.).

Defamation suits can be complex and costly and should not be considered without a personal consultation with a lawyer well-versed in defamation law.

If you have a legal matter of your own that you wish to discuss, bracknelson, you are welcome to start your own thread where we can discuss this more thoroughly.

 

[zddoodah]

But how does a defamation lawsuit actually work and in which circumstances can we use this?

We? You're not the OP.

As for how a defamation lawsuit works, it works pretty much like any other civil lawsuit. The plaintiff prepares and files a complaint and files it with the court and then serves it on the defendant. Assuming the defendant files an answer, then the parties will engage in discovery and the case will be resolved either by a motion for summary judgment (or other pretrial, dispositive motion) or by settlement or by trial. Of course, that's obviously a high-level overview, but discussing all of the possible permutations and details would take WAY too much time.

 

[quincy]

We? You're not the OP.

As for how a defamation lawsuit works, it works pretty much like any other civil lawsuit. The plaintiff prepares and files a complaint and files it with the court and then serves it on the defendant. Assuming the defendant files an answer, then the parties will engage in discovery and the case will be resolved either by a motion for summary judgment (or other pretrial, dispositive motion) or by settlement or by trial. Of course, that's obviously a high-level overview, but discussing all of the possible permutations and details would take WAY too much time.

bracknelson could have a defamation claim of his own that he wishes to pursue. If so, he should (and has been advised to) start his own thread.

Defamation laws vary from state to state, often in significant ways, and court decisions have varied from state to state, often in significant ways.