Foster parents asked to pay Support

[AngelaM]

What is the name of your state? NY

We are foster parents to our twin grandsons. They were first given to us through cps by an article 10 and then we became foster parents and they are exchanged to our foster children in May of this year. We've had them 7nths so far and it's looking to go toward adoption. They are our daughters children (she's 20) and now we've been told she's pregnant again and to prepare to take in the newborn as well as she's not done anything they've asked her :/ we've had to cut all ties right now with her just to be safe. We just received in the mail an order to pay her child support because she's filed for help through welfare and they are helping her with everything. My question is (I'm her mom husband is her stepfather) why are we supposed to pay her child support when she left at 18 (didn't want to follow house rules that were very normal for anyone) she wanted to live on her own- and then got pregnant the 1st time - babies have been with us since birth because she wouldn't take care of them (although legally since last Dec) and now we're supposed to pay to support her 2 children we already have- her now too and her new baby eventually? Plus her boyfriend (baby's father) lives with her and refuses to work. She quit her job a few weeks ago. Doesn't participate in her drug program at all. How is this possible? And because I get disability (I'm home disabled) they ordered my husband (her stepfather) to pay it? I find this absolutely ridiculous and unfair. Please advise.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? NY

We are foster parents to our twin grandsons. They were first given to us through cps by an article 10 and then we became foster parents and they are exchanged to our foster children in May of this year. We've had them 7nths so far and it's looking to go toward adoption. They are our daughters children (she's 20) and now we've been told she's pregnant again and to prepare to take in the newborn as well as she's not done anything they've asked her :/ we've had to cut all ties right now with her just to be safe. We just received in the mail an order to pay her child support because she's filed for help through welfare and they are helping her with everything. My question is (I'm her mom husband is her stepfather) why are we supposed to pay her child support when she left at 18 (didn't want to follow house rules that were very normal for anyone) she wanted to live on her own- and then got pregnant the 1st time - babies have been with us since birth because she wouldn't take care of them (although legally since last Dec) and now we're supposed to pay to support her 2 children we already have- her now too and her new baby eventually? Plus her boyfriend (baby's father) lives with her and refuses to work. She quit her job a few weeks ago. Doesn't participate in her drug program at all. How is this possible? And because I get disability (I'm home disabled) they ordered my husband (her stepfather) to pay it? I find this absolutely ridiculous and unfair. Please advise.

You REALLY REALLY need to consult with a Family law Attorney.

 

[AngelaM]

I really can't afford one at the moment. We have all we can do to support these 2 babies. Our savings we had has gone to give these guys everything they needed in the last (almost 2 yrs) we've financially had to do this all on our own.

 

[Just Blue]

I really can't afford one at the moment. We have all we can do to support these 2 babies. Our savings we had has gone to give these guys everything they needed in the last (almost 2 yrs) we've financially had to do this all on our own.

We have a family law attorney from OH ...I will ask her to chime in here. My understanding in NY you are required to support your child till 21 unless emancipated. She moved out over two years ago at 18. In my book she emancipated herself. But NY is odd...and what I think matters not. Look out for OhioGAL.

 

[AngelaM]

Thank you! Will do!

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you! Will do!

I sent her a p.m but she likely won't post till tomorrow...

I will ask you some questions that might clarify the situation...

1. Is your daughters father in the picture? If so, did he also get a support order?
2. Was paternity ever established on the twins? Do they have the same father as the baby daughter is currently carrying? Was there ever a support order made for the twins against the father?

 

[AngelaM]

He is not nor wants to be in the picture since she got pregnant. He hadn't established paternity in the past-refuses. I was told last week that Foster care made him do a paternity test (no results yet) just last week and he finally came in and did it. He's not the same father to the new baby on the way. Different person (current boyfriend) I do not believe support was ever established with baby's father to the twins in the past as well.

 

[Just Blue]

He is not nor wants to be in the picture since she got pregnant. He hadn't established paternity in the past-refuses. I was told last week that Foster care made him do a paternity test (no results yet) just last week and he finally came in and did it. He's not the same father to the new baby on the way. Different person (current boyfriend) I do not believe support was ever established with baby's father to the twins in the past as well.

What about your daughter father?

 

[not2cleverRed]

Let me get this straight: you have received notification that there is a child support court order, or were you just served notice of a court date regarding child support? If you received notice of a court date and didn't show, that's on you. But if you've just been notified of the petition and calendar date, that's another thing.

Frankly, I think your daughter has emancipated herself.

 

[AngelaM]

I never asked him for support in the past because he always made excuses :/ Now he makes just as much as we do. Only has himself to take care of- so I'm not sure why he wasn't sent the same paperwork. My feeling is- she's angry with us (because children we're placed with us) and my ex is always claiming he can't afford anything. I'd be willing to be she didn't mention her dad at all filling out any paperwork. Just my guess though. He can certainly afford to so nothing else makes sense.

 

[AngelaM]

@not2cleverRed
We received this tosay- asking us to volunteer an amount and see if they agree. If we don't - they will set a court date for us to go before the judge and order support. I didn't miss anything.

 

[Just Blue]

I never asked him for support in the past because he always made excuses :/ Now he makes just as much as we do. Only has himself to take care of- so I'm not sure why he wasn't sent the same paperwork. My feeling is- she's angry with us (because children we're placed with us) and my ex is always claiming he can't afford anything. I'd be willing to be she didn't mention her dad at all filling out any paperwork. Just my guess though. He can certainly afford to so nothing else makes sense.

I would make sure that the agency has your ex's info. Share the joy. BTW...It's the agency going after you...not DD. State wants to get some of the money they are payng out on DD back. Once the chid is born and paternity is established BF will be ordered to pay for the child.

There are times that I wish forced birth control was an option...almost. sigh....

 

[Just Blue]

@not2cleverRed
We received this tosay- asking us to volunteer an amount and see if they agree. If we don't - they will set a court date for us to go before the judge and order support. I didn't miss anything.

Ahhh... Go to Court and explain to the judge the situation. Your daughter hasn't lived at home in several years and you are currently raising her twin with no help from her or the father of the children. If you can borrow some money for an attorney try to do so...But if not make sure you are clear, concise and respectful. Dress business like.

 

[AngelaM]

Lol@ share the joy! Yes I plan on making sure they know who he is in the morning and I completely agree on the birth control- at least in these types of situations. Even if it's until they can show they can support themselves or the children they already have! Something. This opportunity to give them money over and over to keep making the same decisions seems ridiculous.

 

[AngelaM]

Very much appreciated! Thank you for the advice