Foster parents asked to pay Support

[stealth2]

Call her back and tell her you would like everything she said in writing and on agency letterhead. If she asks why...Tell her for your records and to clarify what is required.

I would add "to clarify what is required when I speak with my attorney." Time for some hardball.

 

[AngelaM]

Sounds to me as if the Child Support unit is attempting to bully you into a mediated agreement so that they don't have to go to court. Your daughter is most assuredly emancipated. I can't point you to any case law but many a parent that I know of has gotten around that with the fact that she is living outside of your care and control. She is living with the father of her unborn child and they should be going after him. Your husband is in no way shape or form responsible to pay any child support for your daughter.

This is a scare tactic. Do not give in and do not agree. Make them take it to court.

She did say it's going to court - that we will be served papers this coming week. I said what does served mean?? She said a sheriff will showing up with paperwork. Wonderdul. I said does it really have to go this route? She then said I will take care of that right now and have your husband agree to pick them up at dSS. What I'm not understanding is- if all of this is illegal- how is it going on? This is a state agency? Can they really lie and get away with all of this? What else is bothering me is they are counting our income PLUS the foster stipend (which we haven't received quite yet July 20th) and adding that to our income to determine how much she will expect us to pay and ask the judge for. How is it we are being asked to pay child support for not only our daughter but then the 2 children we have in foster care? How does this happen? She tried telling me it's a crazy unique situation?????

 

[AngelaM]

I think that your foster care caseworker will be VERY interested, particularly in the idea that they are going to try to make you pay child support for the two children in your care as foster children. I really think that the person in the child support office is lying through her teeth...and I really do not understand why.

Do NOT voluntarily agree to anything at all. Make them take you to court for a judge's decision.

I'm really wishing I had recorded the conversation now. :/ is it legal to do that? So I have proof? I'm asking because I want to call her back Monday like it was stated and ask her to put everything in writing that she has told me. Also- forgot to mention-i I said my husband was taking her off his insurance if this is the case and she said no- I wouldn't go that route. You need to speak with the judge before you decide to do anything. ?? Again- why?

 

[stealth2]

She did say it's going to court - that we will be served papers this coming week. I said what does served mean?? She said a sheriff will showing up with paperwork. Wonderdul. I said does it really have to go this route? She then said I will take care of that right now and have your husband agree to pick them up at dSS. What I'm not understanding is- if all of this is illegal- how is it going on? This is a state agency? Can they really lie and get away with all of this? What else is bothering me is they are counting our income PLUS the foster stipend (which we haven't received quite yet July 20th) and adding that to our income to determine how much she will expect us to pay and ask the judge for. How is it we are being asked to pay child support for not only our daughter but then the 2 children we have in foster care? How does this happen? She tried telling me it's a crazy unique situation?????

They can do anything you agree to. Your husband should NOT pick any papers up. Force them to take you to court. Force them to also take her Dad to court.

 

[AngelaM]

They can do anything you agree to. Your husband should NOT pick any papers up. Force them to take you to court. Force them to also take her Dad to court.

I didn't agree to anything- I made sure. Just simply asked her why did she have to send a sheriff to serve papers? She did tell me she was including our daughters father as well as our daughter (as far as the support for the boys) but that was just a legality because our daughter has no income so it's just formal. :/

 

[Just Blue]

I would add "to clarify what is required when I speak with my attorney." Time for some hardball.

Well...That's what OP is gonna do with the letter...but if the woman from CS know that she won't send the recap letter.

 

[Rushia]

They can lie all they want. It's not illegal to lie. However, it does occur to me that you are in NY so you may qualify for a court appointed attorney.

 

[AngelaM]

They can lie all they want. It's not illegal to lie. However, it does occur to me that you are in NY so you may qualify for a court appointed attorney.

I asked her if we needed to hire an attorney- she specifically told me no I didn't need to. We'd be fine? So now I do? One thing I should mention-we are foster parents- and in hearings for the children we were also told we didn't need an attorney because DSS attorneys act as ours as well. That is for TPR hearings and placement hearings. However, this same group of attorneys also are the ones who go after people for support to pay back any help our daughter is receiving from DSS. Isn't that a conflict somehow? I'm just really blown away by the fact that this is allowed to happen from a state agency - Meaning what I've explained this support investigator told us. They're allowed to lie and bully and it's ok? How does she do this and is able to keep her job? I would think there's others and the judge would have known about them? Am I just naive?

 

[not2cleverRed]

I asked her if we needed to hire an attorney- she specifically told me no I didn't need to. We'd be fine? So now I do? One thing I should mention-we are foster parents- and in hearings for the children we were also told we didn't need an attorney because DSS attorneys act as ours as well. That is for TPR hearings and placement hearings. However, this same group of attorneys also are the ones who go after people for support to pay back any help our daughter is receiving from DSS. Isn't that a conflict somehow? I'm just really blown away by the fact that this is allowed to happen from a state agency - Meaning what I've explained this support investigator told us. They're allowed to lie and bully and it's ok? How does she do this and is able to keep her job? I would think there's others and the judge would have known about them? Am I just naive?

As Rushia pointed out: they can lie all they want. You don't "need" to in the sense that it's not required - but you need someone to adequately advocate for your side, and if you're not prepared to do it yourself, then get a lawyer.

Might I also point out: they can also be stupid idiots who are barely functionally literate. She looks good if she bullies you into agreeing to something more than the court would order.

My take on this: anything involving court will start with an initial hearing, not a trial. Stop hyperventilating, start looking into Rushia's suggestion, as you may indeed quality for a court appointed lawyer. Start putting your paperwork in order. It is very important to have everything you think you could possibly need with you, and easily found - even if you do get a lawyer. It has been my experience that if anything is needed, it will be the least obvious thing to you. And even if you have a lawyer, s/he can misplace the most important things... It is better to be ready and not need things than to be caught flat-footed.

 

[LdiJ]

As Rushia pointed out: they can lie all they want. You don't "need" to in the sense that it's not required - but you need someone to adequately advocate for your side, and if you're not prepared to do it yourself, then get a lawyer.

Might I also point out: they can also be stupid idiots who are barely functionally literate. She looks good if she bullies you into agreeing to something more than the court would order.

My take on this: anything involving court will start with an initial hearing, not a trial. Stop hyperventilating, start looking into Rushia's suggestion, as you may indeed quality for a court appointed lawyer. Start putting your paperwork in order. It is very important to have everything you think you could possibly need with you, and easily found - even if you do get a lawyer. It has been my experience that if anything is needed, it will be the least obvious thing to you. And even if you have a lawyer, s/he can misplace the most important things... It is better to be ready and not need things than to be caught flat-footed.

I agree with all of this but will reiterate that you need to get your foster care caseworker informed of what the child support investigator told you. Your caseworker is NOT going to be pleased with them at all...particularly the fact that they are telling you that they will go after you for child support of the children that are in your care as foster children.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I asked her if we needed to hire an attorney- she specifically told me no I didn't need to. We'd be fine? So now I do? One thing I should mention-we are foster parents- and in hearings for the children we were also told we didn't need an attorney because DSS attorneys act as ours as well.

If the state is trying to get you to pay money no lawyer that is an employee of or representing the state is will be acting as your counsel with regards to the money UNLESS he is appointed counsel to YOU not the child.

 

[Zigner]

I suspect that the Sheriff's Department serves court documents - that's why a deputy would be serving it.

 

[LdiJ]

One thing I forgot to mention that is important. I would really encourage your husband NOT to take her off his insurance. The child support worker was flat out lying that having her on his insurance made him liable for child support. It absolutely does not. It will just complicate things if he does take her off, since she is pregnant.

 

[Rushia]

I asked her if we needed to hire an attorney- she specifically told me no I didn't need to. We'd be fine? So now I do? One thing I should mention-we are foster parents- and in hearings for the children we were also told we didn't need an attorney because DSS attorneys act as ours as well. That is for TPR hearings and placement hearings. However, this same group of attorneys also are the ones who go after people for support to pay back any help our daughter is receiving from DSS. Isn't that a conflict somehow? I'm just really blown away by the fact that this is allowed to happen from a state agency - Meaning what I've explained this support investigator told us. They're allowed to lie and bully and it's ok? How does she do this and is able to keep her job? I would think there's others and the judge would have known about them? Am I just naive?

Take a deep breath. Yes...they can and do lie. They depend on people not knowing the laws. If they can trick you into mediation it is less work for them. It is in fact their job to do this. You also need to stop focusing on this. Ask the woman to put all she told you in writing and leave it at that. You need to find a way to get an attorney OR ask for one during the first hearing. I know in my county it's one of the first things the judge asks and they you take your paperwork to a specific area and an attorney will be assigned to you if you qualify for one.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Take a deep breath. Yes...they can and do lie. They depend on people not knowing the laws. If they can trick you into mediation it is less work for them. It is in fact their job to do this. You also need to stop focusing on this. Ask the woman to put all she told you in writing and leave it at that. You need to find a way to get an attorney OR ask for one during the first hearing. I know in my county it's one of the first things the judge asks and they you take your paperwork to a specific area and an attorney will be assigned to you if you qualify for one.

I think that the other thing that OP should realize that if it goes to court, and she actually responds, they are not going to slam her immediately with a cs court order. Unless, of course, she and her husband are no shows.

OP should also take the fact that they contacted her and stepdad with "Tell us what you'd agree to pay in cs" to be indicative of the legal foot they have to stand on. There are many people who, given a choice, would pay far less than guideline support.