from tiffanys sister

[tiffanys]

What is the name of your state?
P.A
My sister has written these posts and now I have a question, her boyfriend, who was responsible at one time, and who now is letting his mom run his life, can legally take the baby, once its born, over his moms house and never leave. and my sister would basicly have had her baby kidnapped, if both parents have equal rights, that means he can take the baby anywhere, he wants, for as long as he wants. and his mom has told my sister in very strong terms, she has grandparent rights and can take the baby anytime she wishes, what about my mom? the other grandma? well my sister has no money, and welfare dont give a crap they wont even let us in there when she goes in for something , they act rediculos ,my sister is too imature to know what to ask!so all we have is what I can find out in writing.
she remembers this exsample,and is in fear to the piont of illness.
we have a cousin whos wife left him and took his girls out of state and got a boyfriend and since my cousin dont have money for a lawer, he cant do a darn thing accept be willing to drive 7 hours to get his girls when their mom lets him, they were married for 8 years!
so much for laws to protect the kids and the other parent.
So basicly he can forcibly take the baby ,and as one of you said it is hard to get the baby back in a custody case if one parent with the money,takes the child away.She is terrified to give these people an inch for fear they will take her baby!
I think its silly, but this is real to her, her first baby is turning out to be a nightmare. and she has gained little weight these whole 8 months.
were worried.
tiffanys sister tammy

 

[ChevyGirl]

If there is something physically wrong with the child, like failure to thrive (not gaining weight) or they are not taking care of her, then you need to call child protective services. If you need help finding the hotline number for your state, let me know and I will help you. Why is it exactly that you sister needs welfare and is not working? is she disabled or what? If not, she needs to forget about welfare, get a job, and start saving money for a lawyer. If she really cares that much, she will do whatever it takes to get her child back.

 

[Boxcarbill]

What is the name of your state?
P.A
My sister has written these posts and now I have a question, her boyfriend, who was responsible at one time, and who now is letting his mom run his life, can legally take the baby, once its born, over his moms house and never leave. and my sister would basicly have had her baby kidnapped, if both parents have equal rights, that means he can take the baby anywhere, he wants, for as long as he wants. and his mom has told my sister in very strong terms, she has grandparent rights and can take the baby anytime she wishes, what about my mom? the other grandma? well my sister has no money, and welfare dont give a crap they wont even let us in there when she goes in for something , they act rediculos ,my sister is too imature to know what to ask!so all we have is what I can find out in writing.
she remembers this exsample,and is in fear to the piont of illness.
we have a cousin whos wife left him and took his girls out of state and got a boyfriend and since my cousin dont have money for a lawer, he cant do a darn thing accept be willing to drive 7 hours to get his girls when their mom lets him, they were married for 8 years!
so much for laws to protect the kids and the other parent.
So basicly he can forcibly take the baby ,and as one of you said it is hard to get the baby back in a custody case if one parent with the money,takes the child away.She is terrified to give these people an inch for fear they will take her baby!
I think its silly, but this is real to her, her first baby is turning out to be a nightmare. and she has gained little weight these whole 8 months.
were worried.
tiffanys sister tammy

Where is all this fear and trauma coming from. The boyfriend has no rights. He is a boyfriend, not a parent. Your sister will become a parent by virtue of giving birth. That establishes her maternity. The boyfried will have to establish his paternity if he wants visitation. Until he uses some of that money to establish his paternity, he has no more rights to her child than I do.

Now, I would recommend that your sister becomes motivated to get an education. Education is what gets a job that pays enough to provide for her and the baby. Or she can have a pity party and have another baby this time next year and continue to whine about what welfare won't provide to her.

 

[ChevyGirl]

Yout hit the nail on the head BoxCar!

My thoughts exactly!

 

[Whyte Noise]

First, some questions.

Did the baby's father sign an acknowledgment of paternity form at the hospital? Has he been proven to be the father thru DNA testing, or thru the courts? Is he on the birth certificate? He has to be either proven to be the father, or sign a voluntary AOP form, or be declared the father by the courts before he has any "fatherly rights" in most cases. Otherwise, he's just some guy off the street that "claims" to be the father, and any Joe Schmoe can do that.

Second, his mom can go take a long walk off a short pier. She has no "rights" whatsoever. Grandparent's can petition for visitation and such in certain instances, but they have no inherent rights to their children's children at all. This goes for your mom as well. She has no "rights" to the child at all either.

Your cousin and his wife were married. Married couples have equal custody of the children, and yes, one can just take the children and leave. I know, it happened to me. My husband did the same thing. And the attorney told me that there wasn't a thing I could do (such as press kidnapping charges) because we were married, and he had as much right to them as I did. However, it's different for unmarried couples. You'll have to look up your state laws to find out if in Pa. a mother is automatically deemed the custodial parent at birth if the parents are not married.

Hope this helps some.

(Edit: Wow, I really should stay at the comp. when I'm answering a post and not get up to do something else and take forever writing it! LOL Also, I mis-read the post and thought the baby was already born. So my questions are moot at this point... But, he'll still have to establish his paternity before he has any rights to the child. Until then, he's got no say so.)

 

[tiffanys]

reply from tiffanys sister

To answer some of your questions, what she cant get from welfare is any legal info ,where the fear and trauma is coming from the boyfriends foolish mom who thinks she runs the world and knows it all and feeds this to her son, she says stuff like, I know lawers, bla bla ,she is a real estate agent, so then the boy says equally foolish crap to tiff, and gets her all upset and crying. You c ant talk sense to him, Ive tried talking to him in a non involved way, to work on his love{?} for my sister and his child, I think his mom is just angry because my sister dont like her interference in their relationship which is what made it fall apart.Tiffany never said she cant see the baby. she dont want the baby over his moms house, its discustingly filthy, but it wasnt always that way. this women will butt her nose in the whole time tiffany is trying to raise her child.shes doing it already.telling her she cant breast feed!
she needs to legally know that woman cannot interfere with her raising her own child. My sister does care about the boy, she wishes he would be a man and stop listening to his raving mother,and grow up and be a husband and father, well we all dream dont we.
The only paper that had this boys name on it is the form at the welfare office that she had to fill out to get the benifits, she dint know any other way to respond, like I said welfare will not let me or my mom ask questions for her or even be there, they know were not that stupid, thats how they get over on people, but at the hospital wont they let the boy sighn papers of paternaty if he wants to? like the birth certificate? she is not giving the baby his name and I am sure that woman will have something to say about that! tiff dont want his mom to be there, if she is, she will be busying herself with the nurses and doing stuff.
the boys mom will pay for a paternaty test, any lawer fees,she will pay for anything to baby that boy, she supports his ciggarett habit and pays for his new truck, he has no job, mommy gives him money now. she also gives him money {and he buys pot with it }and so you see why my sister hates her, tiff is trying to be a christain type person she does none of that she hates it, and his mom is making it easy for him to be this way,she is hurt he chose his mom over her.
tiff will be a wonderfull mom, she loves kids,and is very fussy with their care she watches my grandaughter a lot, she is also the cleanest 21 year old around,you can eat off her kitchenfloor.
where can I find some info to print up for her to make her feel better?
tammy

 

[kat1963]

I gotta ask...how old is the *boy*? And seriously now Tammy, welfare support your sister, his mother supports him.They both need to get an education, good jobs & become productive members of society. At which point they can then tell the MIL to..Well, you know. Since you stated she watches your granddaughter, you are way older then 21 and should already know how this.
This isn’t going to make her feel better because in PA, according to Title 23, Section 5311 (23 Pa.C.S.A. § 5311 et seq.). Grandparents may have rights to visitation. Will she or won’t she be granted access will be up to the judge.
I'm more worried about the baby...what are the peds saying?
KAT

 

[CRYROSE1]

JMO

tell your sister not to put his name on the brith record do so only if he signs papers at the hospital. Tell the hospital staff that she does not want his mom in her room. And if your sister wants to breast feed that is up to her not his mom. Tell your sister if the "boy " starts telling her what his mom wants the hang up the phone she does not need the stress. Tell his mother if she wants another child have one of her own to boss around. This is your sisters child and the "boys" not his mom, you sister did not have sex with his mother she needs to stay out of this. I am not sure about PA laws but in Iowa if the child is born out of wedlock the father must be proven by DNA or pararnity papers from the hospital. The mother get sole custody. the father must go to court to get any visitation rights, but he will be orded to pay support even if he does not see the child. Your sister has gotten help from walfare so they will go after the father for support. Have you checked with the local Legal Aid or the County attonry office and see if they can help her with any legal matter at a low cost. They may even be able to tell you the laws about children born out of wedlock. Oh yes Waht the hell does real estate have you to do with Family law, Bring that up to grandma to be LOL. Tell you sister just to make sure she has a healthy baby and block out what ever the "boy" and his mom say.
BEST WISHES

 

[tiffanys]

kat1963,
He is 19, did graduate, and did have a decent job, they used to have thier own nice place, untill he got on drugs and started sleeping i n and not paying bills, sounds all too familiar. tiff couldnt make ends meet with her janitorial job,so she moved back home for a while and had to get on welfare when she found out she was pregnant, part time cleaning has no benifits and would cause miscarraige. we all were devastated really, but she holds out hope, but this woman is just a real pain, I think my sister has gone about it all wrong Ive told her that. His mom makes idle promises, he was supposed to go to school three times for three different things,well we all just say yea right, his mom is appealing unemployments denial to give him benifit checks!, he quit!, its no contest, but she is taking it to court!, shes so stupid all those lawer fees for a lousy 35 dollar check if he would get it? sure aint gonna pay that 425 dollar truck payment, his mom also thinks he can get welfare! she is just a real fruit loop, she thinks she knows it all selling houses! I was really hoping tiff would have miscarried early on, she had that happen already. It sounds mean, but
it would have solved a lot.
I will tell her to not put his name on certificate, but If I know tiff she will want him there to see baby born,
Oh incidentally Tiff is over at the college doing some sort of classes, so she does try. She is litterally afraid to go to work because she dont ever want to leave the baby with him or his family for fear she will loose the baby, but I think she is over reacting, and Im working with her on this.
If they go after him for support then his mom says he will have all the rights as a father, tis true, he wants all his rights but he wants to do things his perfect mommies way not my sisters way,
well I thank you for all your help.
tammy