Frustrasted!

[suppermom57]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

I know I have posted on this site before over many different issues, but it sure seems like it's never ending.
My question is can I legally do anything if a stepmom keeps interferring in decision making between my ex and I with our children? Last night, for example, I was talking with my ex on some issues that has arisen with our rebelling children. We were actually making some headway for once together in years and stepmom(ex's wife) gets on the phone and interjects our conversation on what WE need to do. My ex told her to get the *&%# off the phone and she continued on and on, my ex finally said a few choice words, told me he needed to go and that was that. Some background: ex has basically interferred for the last 12 years between my ex and myself. I know your going to say, well, your ex needs to take care of his wife. The only problem with that is, it's easier to him to just let it be and let his wife take control. Well, I'm not that way and I'm tired of stepmom controlling ALL decisions of our children. Please help!!!

 

[Zephyr]

Frustrasted!

is that a combination of frustrated and ??? hehehe j/k

I don't think you can do anything legally, do not communicate with her at all, if she gets on the other line while you are talking to your ex, very politely tell you ex that you have to go and could he call you back when he is free.

 

[casa]

Frustrasted!

is that a combination of frustrated and ??? hehehe j/k

I don't think you can do anything legally, do not communicate with her at all, if she gets on the other line while you are talking to your ex, very politely tell you ex that you have to go and could he call you back when he is free.

I agree...and another choice is to correspond via e-mail to each other's personal e-mail accounts. Even, asking that he call you when not at home or with stepmom.

My oldest's father & I completely omit his wife in all dealings re; our daughter because it got so complicated with her involved that eventually even HE got sick of it! (sounds like your X is on his way...with the way he spoke to his wife)

 

[stealth2]

Basically, yes - your ex needs to control his wife. I'm in a similar situation, and my ex has gone as far as canceling all of his email addy's (except the one he thinks I don't know about - hee) and insists that I contact him via his wife's email. Not happening. I've made it clear via that addy that he can contact me directly and plan to snail mail him CCRR this week. After the events of this w/e, I don't even want to be in contact with HIM, let alone her.

 

[suppermom57]

Yes, my ex is on his way of being very fed up with all of this. I can't email him because his wife opens all his email and mail.
After speaking with my ex, stepmom went up and told daughter that she is going to have to break up with her boyfriend because mom(me) isn't approving. Stepmom has no idea what was actually said and it sure wasn't about daughter breaking up or not having a boyfriend!
I couldn't believe my ears when I heard my ex talking to HIS wife that way and according to my daughter after we got off the phone, stepmom left taking with her both the phones in the household because she didn't want my ex and I talking again!

 

[worriedIL]

I just had something i wanted to add to that.

I am on the flip side of that. My boyfriends ex is a lunatic. She calls him constantly telling him i will never have anything to do w/ the up bringing of her daughter and tells her daughter terrible things about me.

I dont understand. I have never done anything to this women. I am very good to their daughter whom i have come to love very much. Have you ever tried talking with her? I mean I agree she should not interfere with your conversations w/ your ex. I would never do that. Yet if my boyfriend wants to talk to me about it, we can discuss it between us. I would never get involved further then that. I can't stand his ex because of the hell she's put me through the past year, but i'd still be willing to have a civil relationship w/ her for the sake of the child. So in short, have you considered talking w/ this women? Or do you feel why the hell should you?

 

[suppermom57]

Yes, I have tried speaking with my ex's wife. We have actually gotten along well at times. We get along fine as long as she can pull the strings and have the control of the children. Everytime I do talk with her, she turns things around and tries to get the kids to be mad at me. It's very hard to explain, but to me she has some security problems. She has said to me that she hates looking in the mirror and knowing that she will always be 2nd best as she is the 2nd wife. I sometimes feel very sorry for her, but still am not going to let her take over my kids!

 

[worriedIL]

I totally understand what you are saying. I'm going through the same thing just the other end of it. I am sorry for what you are going through. I have lost 35lbs over this whole ordeal and I was only 130 to begin with. Like the other messages said, your ex needs to put his foot down. If his new wifey was always going to feel second best she should have never married your ex in the first place. People these days dont see that marriage isn't the FIX ALL. I will pray for you and myself! Hopefully we can both get some peace in our lives. I wish you were my boyfriends ex!

 

[suppermom57]

Thanks, Worried! Yes, it's been very difficult and I wish you were my ex's wife. Normally, you don't wish for your kids to grow up very fast, but in this instance another 3 1/2 years both my kids will be 18 and I won't have to deal with her anymore on this level.