Frustration - what do I do next

[MrJenkins]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH/PA

I have posted previously and went to court in June. The judge didn't rule on our case and ordered us to have a mediation session again to see if we can work out a schedule as we did that last time and he said he rather us work it out if we can. We had a mediation session in July (which she didn't attend and rescheduled for august).

I am having issues still to where she is not allowing me to take my daughter out, she consistently has a house full of people including her bf and her bestfriend, so when I do visit, it's hard to have my daughters attention to continue establishing our relationship. She yells at me when I tell my daughter to come with daddy and I recently tried to take some pictures which escalated into an arguement and I left since I waited until the end of my visit. Her current bf currently has a picture of him and my daughter as his main facebook page, so that irks me she won't let me have any.

Our next court date is schedule at the end of September. My attorney is no longer my attorney as I can't afford her services anymore.

How can I explain or get through to the judge that unless she rules, she is going to keep playing these games. I don't have a court order even granting me the time I have (which is 4 hours a month), so technically I believe she can withold on that.

I am going to prepare my argument myself and want to include the things she does like telling me she is getting married so our daughter can have a real dad, but at the same time, I don't want to seem like I am trying to play tit for tat.

Is the judge more than likely to rule? Should I change my recommendations of what I asked for to get what I want.

This has been going on for a year(mostly my fault by thinking once I visit multiple times, she'd see I was trying to be in my daughters life and work with me to be co-parents)but I feel like I'm lost and I am missing out on so much.

If you need anymore information, or I need to provide any details, let me know

 

[Isis1]

okay, mediation is in august. hearing is in september.

yes, it will irk you for a bit, but keep in mind this is only for less then two months. stop trying to take pictures. at least for now. you can take millions of pictures once visitation is properly ordered.

mom allowing you to visit without a court order, looks good for her. mom not attending the first mediation, doesn't.

at mediation, bring several proposals for a parenting plan to go over. do NOT agree to supervision. child already knows who you are. bring a graduated schedule, and several regular schedules. ones that work around your employment schedule, and ones that work with mom's schedules.

if mom makes stupid comments such "child will have a real dad once i am married" just nod your head and smile. believe it or not, some parents actually think saying this stuff in front of a judge helps them. personally, i'm one to not discourage the other party to say stuff like that.

if for whatever reason, the judge does grant supervised visitation, have a list of third party places, ones that do not include mom or any family member of hers to participate in. or even her boyfriend.

 

[MrJenkins]

thank you for your help.

I have definitely been biting my tongue and the visitation outside of the court order is due to our mediation session we had last september. The terms we agreed to back then was 4 hours a month in order to allow me to establish a relationship with my daughter and then that would increase from supervised to unsupervised and more time.

Also, I thought I was going to have a ruling in June and I want to make sure that the judge knows that mediation is not working because what she says in mediation and what she is allowing me doesn't add up.

Is there a way to ask the judge to make a ruling and that I don't think mediation is working without looking like the bad guy? I just don't want him to keep telling us to go to mediation and this drags out for another year.

 

[Isis1]

thank you for your help.

I have definitely been biting my tongue and the visitation outside of the court order is due to our mediation session we had last september. The terms we agreed to back then was 4 hours a month in order to allow me to establish a relationship with my daughter and then that would increase from supervised to unsupervised and more time.

Also, I thought I was going to have a ruling in June and I want to make sure that the judge knows that mediation is not working because what she says in mediation and what she is allowing me doesn't add up.

Is there a way to ask the judge to make a ruling and that I don't think mediation is working without looking like the bad guy? I just don't want him to keep telling us to go to mediation and this drags out for another year.

you can request a temporary order. something along the lines of a full day unsupervised visitation. unless mom has something criminal on you that gives the impression you are a danger to your child, the judge will not force the supervised visits. so do NOT agree to them. but you have to speak up. and this can be done without interupting the judge and being respectful. (i learned the hard way )

 

[MrJenkins]

you can request a temporary order. something along the lines of a full day unsupervised visitation. unless mom has something criminal on you that gives the impression you are a danger to your child, the judge will not force the supervised visits. so do NOT agree to them. but you have to speak up. and this can be done without interupting the judge and being respectful. (i learned the hard way )

Thank you for all your help. I don't have anything criminal besides some minor traffic violations and I've attending parenting classes on my own time in order to help prepare myself to care for my daughter when she is with me.

What i realistically want is to eventually have my daughter for 1 weekend a month and some time over summer. Right now we live 180 miles away from eachother (neither of us moved to create the distance). I do all the driving (7hrs RT) and have been for the last year. She has a lot of 3rd party "advice" that is making this more rocky than it has to be. When we are alone, talking... we come to agreements and conclusions without any type of fighting or arguement.

 

[Isis1]

Thank you for all your help. I don't have anything criminal besides some minor traffic violations and I've attending parenting classes on my own time in order to help prepare myself to care for my daughter when she is with me.

What i realistically want is to eventually have my daughter for 1 weekend a month and some time over summer. Right now we live 180 miles away from eachother (neither of us moved to create the distance). I do all the driving (7hrs RT) and have been for the last year. She has a lot of 3rd party "advice" that is making this more rocky than it has to be. When we are alone, talking... we come to agreements and conclusions without any type of fighting or arguement.

you're very welcome. feel free to come back after mediation or before. so many people on here have been able to help myself with different perspectives in learning to co-parent better. not always easy, but it's definitely easier.

i'd also recommend group parenting classes, it's nice to hear other perspectives, and sometimes to get "straigtened out" by someone from the other veiwpoint.

good luck!