Gal 101

[raiseretrievers]

What is the name of your state?WA

I am in the process of securing a guardian ad litem (GAL) which has been specifically ordered to investigate alcohol abuse and substantial misrepresentation of living arrangements of the mother (CP) and my children.

What tips can anyone give me as to how to aid in the gathering of information and how to use the information once gathered?

I would really appreciate first hand information on how a GAL has helped or harmed individuals in regards to custody and parenting.

Thank you.

{personal note: our female Golden Retriever is about to pop out puppies any day now. It will be our first dog litter ever. Mom is laid back and friendly and on the lighter of the seven shade scale. Dad is hyper and skiddish and on the darker of the seven shade scale. The puppies should have a great range of color and personality.}

 

[rmet4nzkx]

FYI- Most people's experience about a GAL will depend on whether or not they feel their personal goals and expectations were met, so usually one parent is unhappy. The purpose of the GAL is the best interest of the children not as a "second" in a duel.

Good luck with the puppies, be ready to have lots of old blamkets and to wash them frequently

 

[raiseretrievers]

I already have the blankents ready for the puppies. I made a welping box for the mother and pups, also.

As far as the GAL, I want to know what experience people have had in the real world and if it is felt that the needs of the children had been addressed adequately.

 

[LdiJ]

I already have the blankents ready for the puppies. I made a welping box for the mother and pups, also.

As far as the GAL, I want to know what experience people have had in the real world and if it is felt that the needs of the children had been addressed adequately.

What rmet was trying to tell you is that you are going to get almost a 50/50 split. Anyone on the losing end is going to have nothing positive to say about Gal's, and those on the winning end will.

However I can give you some basic advice. Don't bad mouth the other parent. Focus on the children only and why you feel that you are better suited to accomodate their needs. Don't OVER exaggerate your good points and do admit your faults.

 

[ohiomomof3]

GAL rocks!

I wasn't in the position to hire an attorney, and legal aid denied their services, yet recommended getting a GAL. It was the best thing that I could hope for. They understood my concerns with our son's father dealing with his drugs, alcohol, and mental stability. I had little to no documentation due to the HIPA laws and privacy. I did tell them I wished for our son to build a better relationship with his father, but wanted it to be a controlled environment.The GAL was there to keep me on track as well through mediation, to keep emotions out of it and get to the matter at hand. They knew I was having a hard time with the separation and still had hurt and angry feelings, but told me not to let them (ex) get the best of me, because that's exactly what he was trying to do in the courtroom. I felt like I had the best attorney I could get, and hadn't.

 

[casa]

I think the most important thing is to give them contact information for people who interract with the children or the other parent. Neighbors, teachers, Doctors etc.
Be honest. Don't bash the other parent, but do bring up valid concerns you have.
Sometimes they will do home visits to see the environment the children are in at both houses. They'll usually talk to the children. You can look up on line what the guidelines are for GALs in your state.

I had a good experience and felt that the GAL did what was right for my child- However the report ended up with what I wanted. I think it's true that the parent that is more focused on "Getting their way" is not satisfied- and the parent who wants what is best for the child is usually satisfied.

 

[stealth2]

As the others said, it's important to be careful how you answer questions regarding the other parent abd not be perceived as badmouthing. Not always easy, but it can be done. The other important thing is to be certain not to coach the kids as to what to tell the GAL - s/he will be able to tell and that will be a bad scene for the parent who does it.

 

[raiseretrievers]

Agreed.

When I went to court and the only thing the judge listened to was my request for additional parenting (every other weekend) and my request for the GAL, he was headbent on not allowing it. He asked "do you realize that a GAL would cost $500 out of your own pocket?" I said that I did and he was puzzled that I stood by my request. In light of my recent ability to regain compsure, perhaps he thought that I had made the entire event up and believed the mother only because he thought I was being less than truthful (see "Urgent request for help" parts 1 & 2 for for reference).

Anyway, I do only want what's best for my children. If the mother had been upfront about her situation, had not deceived me, had solicited my input, and had not the history of secreting the children and access denial, then I would consider it a toss-up about who should have custody and as long as I felt the children were cared for properly, was not denied visitation or contact/access, and I was kept abreast of any changes in their circumstances I would have not persued a custodial change.

That is not what happened, however.

I would like more input about true-life GAL experience - postive, negative, neutral.

Thank you.