gal?

[LdiJ]

Without FROR that will be unlikely- which is why I said OP should talk to their attorney about FROR if that is her concern.

Whether the father passes by the mother's house doesn't mean anything definative...many people obtain childcare closer to the child's school or the parents work for convenience and emergency purposes.

12 year old are not excluded from aftercare- they may graduate to YMCA or some other community program, but 12 year olds certainly have aftercare options aside from school based programs (which we don't even know if this particular program is attached to the children's school or one which transports children to & from the school). My middle school child is not left home alone because she is ADHD and bless her academically gifted heart- her social awareness & common sense are not what I would deem adequate for being left alone.

LdiJ you are typically very supportive of a mother and father's amendment rights to parent their child...did it occur to you that the father just wants to have/maintain those rights and be able to be trusted to make his own decisions re; the health & welfare of the children? OP does not state the father is busy dictating to her what to do/not to do with the children during her time. (and she works all day at least one day- sometimes that is a weekend day- where are the children then?0

Ok...I was referring to the school after care programs, they usually cut off at a certain age. Also, I know that in many states that before/after care programs cut off at age 13...even when they aren't school programs.

I can certainly understand why dad wants to make his own decisions on his time. I sympathize with that. However, I honestly don't believe that its reasonable for a child to be in before/after school care if the other parent is available to provide the care....and particularly when its of no inconvience to the parent whose time it is, to drop off/pick up the children. In this case, particularly the before school care, since the children have to be there so early. It is making life unnecessarily hard on the kids.

I also have seen many judges make orders allowing the other parent to provide daycare on the parent's time. Therefore I honestly don't think its an issue that a judge would consider to be petty. Mom may not win, but I don't think the judge is going to view it as petty. I think she is justified in trying...and I would think that a father in the same position was also justified in trying.

 

[casa]

Ok...I was referring to the school after care programs, they usually cut off at a certain age. Also, I know that in many states that before/after care programs cut off at age 13...even when they aren't school programs.

I can certainly understand why dad wants to make his own decisions on his time. I sympathize with that. However, I honestly don't believe that its reasonable for a child to be in before/after school care if the other parent is available to provide the care....and particularly when its of no inconvience to the parent whose time it is, to drop off/pick up the children. In this case, particularly the before school care, since the children have to be there so early. It is making life unnecessarily hard on the kids.

I also have seen many judges make orders allowing the other parent to provide daycare on the parent's time. Therefore I honestly don't think its an issue that a judge would consider to be petty. Mom may not win, but I don't think the judge is going to view it as petty. I think she is justified in trying...and I would think that a father in the same position was also justified in trying.

I suppose it could go either way~ perhaps I am biased since I live in CA. Our system is so clogged up that you'd better have a darn good reason to take the other parent to court...and typically when the request begins with 'the other parent does blah, blah, blah' the judge gets irked. It's so common for parents to use before &/or after care- and the children do learn by life experience...if all they know is being home with Mom- and not the routine of Dad getting them up, feeding them, dropping them off, picking them up etc...they miss that parenting in the longrun.

Not to mention- the children will still be getting up at 5am!! (or close to that) because the father still has to get them up and drive them to Mom's en route to work- and then what? they go back to sleep for an hour? or they watch TV or eat breakfast or play (same things they'd be doing at before care?) Or perhaps OP would rather they don't even go to Dads and not have to wake up that early at all? See all the places this can go?

My youngest gets up at 5:15am when she's with her Dad so he can commute to take her and then get to work...I would never dream of taking him to court simply because I could do that...we are different, our schedules are different and our child is only enriched by having both experiences. IMO

 

[LdiJ]

I suppose it could go either way~ perhaps I am biased since I live in CA. Our system is so clogged up that you'd better have a darn good reason to take the other parent to court...and typically when the request begins with 'the other parent does blah, blah, blah' the judge gets irked. It's so common for parents to use before &/or after care- and the children do learn by life experience...if all they know is being home with Mom- and not the routine of Dad getting them up, feeding them, dropping them off, picking them up etc...they miss that parenting in the longrun.

Not to mention- the children will still be getting up at 5am!! (or close to that) because the father still has to get them up and drive them to Mom's en route to work- and then what? they go back to sleep for an hour? or they watch TV or eat breakfast or play (same things they'd be doing at before care?) Or perhaps OP would rather they don't even go to Dads and not have to wake up that early at all? See all the places this can go?

My youngest gets up at 5:15am when she's with her Dad so he can commute to take her and then get to work...I would never dream of taking him to court simply because I could do that...we are different, our schedules are different and our child is only enriched by having both experiences. IMO

I see the point that you are making...but yes, I do think that the kids would be able to rest a little more at mom's rather than at before care....maybe even sleep a little bit more if they need it. Also, the one on one help with homework after school is of value to the children as well (and its not like dad would be missing that experience, because the kids would normally do their homework in after care...at least if after care there is anything like aftercare in our school system). I understand the point that you are making about "where does it go"...but I still think this particular mom is justified in trying. Particularly since their case isn't over. Its a simple matter to add a request to provide before and after school care since she is available.

 

[BL]

My glass is Empty , I need a refill .

Oh now I'm hungry , how about a Burger w/ onions and pickles .

 

[casa]

My glass is Empty , I need a refill .

Oh now I'm hungry , how about a Burger w/ onions and pickles .

If it's Tommy's burgers~ I'll buy if you fly

 

[BL]

If it's Tommy's burgers~ I'll buy if you fly

Hmm , you paying the air fare Too ?

 

[casa]

Hmm , you paying the air fare Too ?

Aahhhhhhhhh man....I can't do airfare right now. Aren't you due for a vacation in Sunny CA anyway? Tommy burgers are enough to make the trip worth it.

 

[LdiJ]

Aahhhhhhhhh man....I can't do airfare right now. Aren't you due for a vacation in Sunny CA anyway? Tommy burgers are enough to make the trip worth it.

What's a "tommy burger"?...please tell!?

 

[casa]

What's a "tommy burger"?...please tell!?

World Famous Tommy's burger: Chili burger with big fat tomatoes and giant pickle slices- street corner stands...sprinkled around Southern California but originated in L.A. It's disgustingly fattening and don't ask about the cholestrol! But to have one...is to know one

 

[BL]

http://www.originaltommys.com/burger.html

But , But where I live they say they got the World's best burgers. LOl

 

[casa]

~

http://www.originaltommys.com/burger.html

But , But where I live they say they got the World's best burgers. LOl

LOL! Well.... I didn't say World's "best"...I said World "Famous"

but...do tell of your Best Burgers- Enquiring minds...(& salivari glands- wants to know)

 

[LdiJ]

World Famous Tommy's burger: Chili burger with big fat tomatoes and giant pickle slices- street corner stands...sprinkled around Southern California but originated in L.A. It's disgustingly fattening and don't ask about the cholestrol! But to have one...is to know one

Dang...that sounds GOOD!

 

[casa]

Dang...that sounds GOOD!

It's something...unto itself Better than Dodger Dogs by a mile.

If/When you visit- try it out.

I had the good fortune of visiting a place in New Orleans that made something of Eggs Benedict that I could not have even imagined! < still trying to replicate it in my own kitchen with no success!) and another dish in North Carolina re; fried crawfish........aaaahhh the Joy of experiencing other cultures.

 

[BL]

http://www.naof.com/rochester/bestburgers/main.adp?page=board

http://www.zebbs.com/

http://www.billgrays.com/ I'm sorry Worlds greatest Cheeseburger

Salivate .....

 

[casa]

http://www.naof.com/rochester/bestburgers/main.adp?page=board

http://www.zebbs.com/

http://www.billgrays.com/ I'm sorry Worlds greatest Cheeseburger

Salivate .....

hehe you've given your locale away friend. Yes, BTDT~ pretty tasty...but nothing compares