General POA

[johnnysbug]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Tennessee

My grandfather granted me general POA over him and his estate. He is 84 years old and has been involved with a woman who is in her mid 30s. This woman has been a very bad influence on him; she has been physically abusive to him and has even gone to jail twice because of this. The first time was prior to him granting me POA, and she punched him in the eye causing him to lose his eye. Recently she beat him up, and the neighbors called the police and she fled the scene and was later arrested. She drinks heavily and causes my grandfather to also drink, to the point to where he had to go into a rehab to dry out. He makes excuses for her and says that losing his eye was just an accident and that she doesn't beat him. His bruises tell a different story.

My question is, can I prevent him from seeing her? Either by way of a restraining order or some other means? I am afraid she is going to kill him if this continues. He cannot see how this is damaging his health. His best friends have refused to have anything to do with him because of his actions and choices with this woman.

He is very stubborn and will not hear my concerns for his wellfare.

Please advise,

Jonathan

 

[BlondiePB]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Tennessee

My grandfather granted me general POA over him and his estate. He is 84 years old and has been involved with a woman who is in her mid 30s. This woman has been a very bad influence on him; she has been physically abusive to him and has even gone to jail twice because of this. The first time was prior to him granting me POA, and she punched him in the eye causing him to lose his eye. Recently she beat him up, and the neighbors called the police and she fled the scene and was later arrested. She drinks heavily and causes my grandfather to also drink, to the point to where he had to go into a rehab to dry out. He makes excuses for her and says that losing his eye was just an accident and that she doesn't beat him. His bruises tell a different story.

My question is, can I prevent him from seeing her? Either by way of a restraining order or some other means? I am afraid she is going to kill him if this continues. He cannot see how this is damaging his health. His best friends have refused to have anything to do with him because of his actions and choices with this woman.

He is very stubborn and will not hear my concerns for his wellfare.

Please advise,

Jonathan

First thing in the morning, call Adult Protective Services.

 

[johnnysbug]

First thing in the morning, call Adult Protective Services.

I did as you suggested. Coincidentally, I did not even know such an agency existed until this morning, when I heard a program on NPR speaking about it. It was a very loud sign to take action.

However, APS only gave me information for calling Legal Aid, which I left a message with, or they said I could call the Sheriff's dept and see if I could request a restraining order.

Should I continue calling APS until I get someone to get out there, and see his eye, and hear about how he doesn't want to press charges on her, even though the police reports clearly state injuries?

Even this morning, I received information from a neighbor that this woman also tried to run my grandfather over with her car. They said he had a scar on his arm from where he was rammed into the bushes.

The sad thing is, my grandfather hides all of this from me. He will not speak badly about this woman, and quite frankly, can only think about sexual relations with her. And she knows this, and uses it to her advantage. I also have heard from the neighbor that he is funding her lawyer to fight the assault and battery case in which HE was the victim! This makes me sick.

Are there more things I can do since APS seems to want to divert me to other services?

 

[BlondiePB]

I did as you suggested. Coincidentally, I did not even know such an agency existed until this morning, when I heard a program on NPR speaking about it. It was a very loud sign to take action.

However, APS only gave me information for calling Legal Aid, which I left a message with, or they said I could call the Sheriff's dept and see if I could request a restraining order.

Should I continue calling APS until I get someone to get out there, and see his eye, and hear about how he doesn't want to press charges on her, even though the police reports clearly state injuries?

Even this morning, I received information from a neighbor that this woman also tried to run my grandfather over with her car. They said he had a scar on his arm from where he was rammed into the bushes.

The sad thing is, my grandfather hides all of this from me. He will not speak badly about this woman, and quite frankly, can only think about sexual relations with her. And she knows this, and uses it to her advantage. I also have heard from the neighbor that he is funding her lawyer to fight the assault and battery case in which HE was the victim! This makes me sick.

Are there more things I can do since APS seems to want to divert me to other services?

I really hope you have the name of the person that you spoke with when you called APS. In most states, once a report of elder abuse is made to APS, an investigator shows up unannouced. This is state law. Look in your state statutes for this info (perhaps Dept. of Elder Affairs can help find this). I suggest that you call APS back after finding the your state statutes and talk to a supervisor. Let me know what happens. Sounds as though who ever you talked to was an idiot.

 

[johnnysbug]

I did get a name after I called back a second time. I was told that unless my grandfather is deemed incompetent by his doctor, he has the right to make his own decisions regarding who he has in his house.

I am currently waiting for a call from his doctor and I am also going to place a call to the Domestic Violence hotline.

Thank you for your help! Hopefully I can get him out of this dire situation.

 

[BlondiePB]

I did get a name after I called back a second time. I was told that unless my grandfather is deemed incompetent by his doctor, he has the right to make his own decisions regarding who he has in his house.

This is true. However, it does make a difference in how you make a report to APS. What needed to be done was to report the abuse. I am going to presume that you also told APS you wanted this abuser removed from your grandfather's home - which may explain why you received the reponse that you were given.

I did not have the time to read your state statutes. Some state statutes are on-line in a much better manner than others. Typically, when elder abuse is reported, it is a state law that an investigator goes to do an investigation in a certain amount of time and can be as short as 24 hours.

The investigator arrives unannounced. Elders do "cover up" abuse by significant others and spouses. APS knows this. If APS does find elder abuse, the appropriate initiation of what needs to be done begins - including petitioning the court for that person's competency to be evaluated and petitioning that that person requires a guardian.

I am currently waiting for a call from his doctor and I am also going to place a call to the Domestic Violence hotline.

Good. Because it looks as though APS will not help, call an Elder Law attorney that does guardianships/conservatorships. You should be able to receive a free initial consultation. If you file for guardian/conservator of your grandfather, his competency will be evaluated.

Thank you for your help! Hopefully I can get him out of this dire situation.

You are welcome. Should you have any more questions, feel free to post back. I've asked another esteemed member to keep an eye out for you due to family that is visiting and limiting my time.