Generic question about “legal strangers”.

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the name of your state? MD(but not state specific)

Where is the line drawn for a “legal stranger”?

I’m asking because I’m curious. I understand that GF/BF/step-whatever/fiancés/family friends/etc are considered legal strangers, but as an example, The Ex has attempted in the past to paint L’il Sis’s(Little Miss Pro Se’s younger (half)sister) extended family on her dad’s side, whom LMPS has known for maybe 1 year, as “family”, while at the same time calling my GF(whom I’ve been with for over 6 years, and lived with for 4+, and who LMPS considers her “step-mom”) a complete stranger.

I understand completely that my GF is a legal stranger, but what about the “extended family”? My personal thought is that they would be in the same league as a “step-whatever”, but I’ve been wrong before.

What say you?

 

[CJane]

What is the name of your state? MD(but not state specific)

Where is the line drawn for a “legal stranger”?

I’m asking because I’m curious. I understand that GF/BF/step-whatever/fiancés/family friends/etc are considered legal strangers, but as an example, The Ex has attempted in the past to paint L’il Sis’s(Little Miss Pro Se’s younger (half)sister) extended family on her dad’s side, whom LMPS has known for maybe 1 year, as “family”, while at the same time calling my GF(whom I’ve been with for over 6 years, and lived with for 4+, and who LMPS considers her “step-mom”) a complete stranger.

I understand completely that my GF is a legal stranger, but what about the “extended family”? My personal thought is that they would be in the same league as a “step-whatever”, but I’ve been wrong before.

What say you?

Well, I can only answer based on my case. My ex continually tries to paint his wife's family as the kids' 'new family' w/all the benefits of a 'real' family. But, during his last custody bid, he made a HUGE deal about me living with a man 'not my husband' and couldn't point out often enough that the man was NOT 'family'.

The judge didn't buy it... said basically what we say here. LEGALLY the kids' family is me and him. That's it. We're the only ones. That we're both free to create extended families of our own making, and include whomever we choose... but none of those people are conferred any rights just because we chose to include them in our lives and/or the lives of our children.

 

[peppier]

From what I've read on here, everyone but the half-sister is a legal stranger.

If spending time with any extended family and friends is important to either of the parents then unless those people have been proven a detriment to the child, unfit or singled out in the custody agreement the child can spend time with that person on one of the parent's time.

Real world, just plain old common sense, the more people who truly love and care for the children in the extended family, the better.

 

[jaxpink]

Well, I can only answer based on my case. My ex continually tries to paint his wife's family as the kids' 'new family' w/all the benefits of a 'real' family. But, during his last custody bid, he made a HUGE deal about me living with a man 'not my husband' and couldn't point out often enough that the man was NOT 'family'.

The judge didn't buy it... said basically what we say here. LEGALLY the kids' family is me and him. That's it. We're the only ones. That we're both free to create extended families of our own making, and include whomever we choose... but none of those people are conferred any rights just because we chose to include them in our lives and/or the lives of our children.

This is true -

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

From what I can understand, the half-sister is a 'sister' because the share the same mother. The father of this half-sister is a LEGAL stranger to your daughter. Therefore, any other relative to half-sister's dad are LEGAL strangers.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Well, I can only answer based on my case. My ex continually tries to paint his wife's family as the kids' 'new family' w/all the benefits of a 'real' family. But, during his last custody bid, he made a HUGE deal about me living with a man 'not my husband' and couldn't point out often enough that the man was NOT 'family'.

The Ex did the exact same thing in court. "Not promoting the family structure" or some such nonsense...

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Real world, just plain old common sense, the more people who truly love and care for the children in the extended family, the better.

My thoughts exactly. Including the extended family on L'il Sis's side. But you can't play that card like it's one sided.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

From what I can understand, the half-sister is a 'sister' because the share the same mother. The father of this half-sister is a LEGAL stranger to your daughter. Therefore, any other relative to half-sister's dad are LEGAL strangers.

I concur here too...

 

[CJane]

The Ex did the exact same thing in court. "Not promoting the family structure" or some such nonsense...

Why does it not surprise me that we have similar exes?

I'm a child of steps... my mom and step-dad have been married almost 29 years and I consider him my dad. My father has been remarried for 5-6 years and I consider him and my step-mom my parents once removed (due to his absence while I was a kid) but 100% my kids' grandparents. I have 7 sisters... I have a few VERY close friends who are honorary aunts/uncles. My BF's family will meet my girls this weekend and those people will probably become honorary aunts/uncles/grandparents/etc.

I'm all about blending families, extending families, etc.

But not a single one of those people will ever have any 'claim' at all upon my children or my children's time. And therein lies the difference, I think.

 

[Ohiogal]

From what I've read on here, everyone but the half-sister is a legal stranger.

If spending time with any extended family and friends is important to either of the parents then unless those people have been proven a detriment to the child, unfit or singled out in the custody agreement the child can spend time with that person on one of the parent's time.

Real world, just plain old common sense, the more people who truly love and care for the children in the extended family, the better.

Actually the half sister is a legal stranger as well. LEGAL STRANGERS are those people who by court or biology are not LEGALLY allowed to make decisions for the child. So basically anyone but the parent or legal guardian (appointed by the court) is a LEGAL stranger.

 

[Ohiogal]

I concur here too...

You can concur but you are not going far enough as I have already explained.

 

[Ohiogal]

Why does it not surprise me that we have similar exes?

I'm a child of steps... my mom and step-dad have been married almost 29 years and I consider him my dad. My father has been remarried for 5-6 years and I consider him and my step-mom my parents once removed (due to his absence while I was a kid) but 100% my kids' grandparents. I have 7 sisters... I have a few VERY close friends who are honorary aunts/uncles. My BF's family will meet my girls this weekend and those people will probably become honorary aunts/uncles/grandparents/etc.

I'm all about blending families, extending families, etc.

But not a single one of those people will ever have any 'claim' at all upon my children or my children's time. And therein lies the difference, I think.

Not quite CJ. See my definition. Grandparents may win visitation but that does not mean they are not legal strangers. legal strangers cannot make medical decisions, education decisions, guardianship decisions, or other such decisions concerning the child.

 

[CJane]

Not quite CJ. See my definition. Grandparents may win visitation but that does not mean they are not legal strangers. legal strangers cannot make medical decisions, education decisions, guardianship decisions, or other such decisions concerning the child.

Oh, I know. I wasn't saying any different - see my first post.

What I was saying is that I consider them family but they have no 'claim' upon my children or my children's lives/time. Which is what you're saying too, I think.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

You can concur but you are not going far enough as I have already explained.

I don't want to seem dense, but what do you mean by "far enough"?

 

[CJane]

I don't want to seem dense, but what do you mean by "far enough"?

The half-sister is also a legal stranger.

A FULL sister would be a legal stranger.

The only NON stranger (legally) is YOU and MOM and any COURT APPOINTED Guardians.