Getting full custody??

[Fatherof3beautiful]

What is the name of your state? New York

I am on the verge of divorce but before I do anything drastic the most important thing in my life are my kids and i was wondering if anyone knows what the chances are of me, a father. Main source of income. Flexible work schedule. Able to handle the day to day. Of recieving full custody of my kids? I just dont think i could do this if I wasnt around my kids every day. Any opinions?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? New York

I am on the verge of divorce but before I do anything drastic the most important thing in my life are my kids and i was wondering if anyone knows what the chances are of me, a father. Main source of income. Flexible work schedule. Able to handle the day to day. Of recieving full custody of my kids? I just dont think i could do this if I wasnt around my kids every day. Any opinions?

The odds of either of you getting full custody are slim to none. Some sort of joint custody is very much the norm these days...even if its just joint legal custody with one parent having primary custody. Therefore, if you get divorced you will NOT see your children every day. You WILL be sharing them with their mother. There can be some exceptions to that. Some divorced couples have made it work for the children to see both parents every day, but it takes some special people to make something like that work. Therefore the reality of things, again, is that you will not see your children every day.

Now, as far as primary custody is concerned, that has nothing to do with who is the main source of income. That has to do with who has been the primary caretaker of the children. The person who gets them ready for school, helps them with their homework, takes them to the doctor when they are sick, picks them up from school, gives them baths, washes their clothes, feeds them etc. Who is that in your household? You do not have to tell us but you need to be honest with yourself about it, because it makes a difference.

 

[Fatherof3beautiful]

The odds of either of you getting full custody are slim to none. Some sort of joint custody is very much the norm these days...even if its just joint legal custody with one parent having primary custody. Therefore, if you get divorced you will NOT see your children every day. You WILL be sharing them with their mother. There can be some exceptions to that. Some divorced couples have made it work for the children to see both parents every day, but it takes some special people to make something like that work. Therefore the reality of things, again, is that you will not see your children every day.

Now, as far as primary custody is concerned, that has nothing to do with who is the main source of income. That has to do with who has been the primary caretaker of the children. The person who gets them ready for school, helps them with their homework, takes them to the doctor when they are sick, picks them up from school, gives them baths, washes their clothes, feeds them etc. Who is that in your household? You do not have to tell us but you need to be honest with yourself about it, because it makes a difference.

In all honesty. We both do that. All of it. Pick up. Drop offs. Laundry. Lunches. All of it

 

[LdiJ]

In all honesty. We both do that. All of it. Pick up. Drop offs. Laundry. Lunches. All of it

Ok, then what the two of you are likely to end up with is some form of shared custody/parenting time with maybe even close to a 50/50 timeshare. Joint legal custody (joint decision making) will be a given. However, once again, there is very little chance that you will come close at all to seeing your children every day.

If you want your children to be truly happy in the long term, then do not subject them to a schedule where they sleep someplace different almost every night. Set up your schedule so that they can really settle into one place for at least a few days at a time. Yes, that will be hard on the parents to be without their children for stretches of time, but it will make the children far happier in the long term.

 

[stealth2]

The ages of the children will factor into the schedule as well.