Getting paid for buy out

[p.p.williams196]

Washington State

My ex wanted to keep the condo that we bought together. She did not have the money to buy me out directly, nor the credit to buy me out through a refinance. She offered an alternative plan of not requiring child support for two years for part of the buy out and to pay the remainder out of a 401k transfer.

She refuses to pay the 401k portion because she states that I'm obligated to pay the lawyer fees to have the transfer done.

In my mind, that would be equivalent to someone owing me $20 and then only offering me $15 because they used an atm that charged them $5. It just doesn't make any sense.

Should I just file a contempt of court against her to try to get her to pay?

 

[Silverplum]

Washington State

My ex wanted to keep the condo that we bought together. She did not have the money to buy me out directly, nor the credit to buy me out through a refinance. She offered an alternative plan of not requiring child support for two years for part of the buy out and to pay the remainder out of a 401k transfer.

She refuses to pay the 401k portion because she states that I'm obligated to pay the lawyer fees to have the transfer done.

In my mind, that would be equivalent to someone owing me $20 and then only offering me $15 because they used an atm that charged them $5. It just doesn't make any sense.

Should I just file a contempt of court against her to try to get her to pay?

Did you already sign off on that horrible and legally unsupportable plan?

 

[LdiJ]

Washington State

My ex wanted to keep the condo that we bought together. She did not have the money to buy me out directly, nor the credit to buy me out through a refinance. She offered an alternative plan of not requiring child support for two years for part of the buy out and to pay the remainder out of a 401k transfer.

She refuses to pay the 401k portion because she states that I'm obligated to pay the lawyer fees to have the transfer done.

In my mind, that would be equivalent to someone owing me $20 and then only offering me $15 because they used an atm that charged them $5. It just doesn't make any sense.

Should I just file a contempt of court against her to try to get her to pay?

That is an odd arrangement and one that I am not sure is enforceable. If I were in your shoes I would either consult with a local attorney to get an opinion as to whether or not your odd arrangement is enforceable, or pay for the attorney to draw up the QDRO, get your money, and then consult with a local attorney as to whether or not its possible to file for contempt to get her to pay you back.

Bottom line, if she doesn't have the money to pay an attorney to draw up the QDRO, she still isn't going to have the money even if you take her to court for contempt.

 

[tranquility]

You're going to have to see an attorney for advice. As the others alluded to, I'm not sure she can trade child support for personal wealth. If you do bring her in on contempt, the judge might find that an illegal deal and assess you back child support. You are going to need expert advice on if that is the case and if it might not be cheaper to pay the "atm" fee.

 

[p.p.williams196]

Did you already sign off on that horrible and legally unsupportable plan?

Sadly, yes. She had a lawyer and I could not afford one. This is alternative offer that she made and I wad told at the time that the money from her 401k could be transferred directly to pay off loans I had taken against mine.

I have since discovered that this was a lie and is impossible to do. When I talked to me investment bank, they said that 95% of the time money from the spouses 401k is just rolled into a new one under my name where I then get to choose if I want to roll the funds into my own 401k or take the penalty and cash it out.