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Getting Power of Attorney revoked

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What is the name of your state? NC

Brother and sister (of 97 year old father) - they never got along. Brother has both Power of Attorney for Medical and Property for the father.

Father always stated that he NEVER wanted to go into a Nursing Home - he has the money to be privately cared for at home. Now that he had another fall (older ladies hired - cheaply - to care for him not physically capable) which broke his ankle, the brother took that opportunity to put him in a Nursing Home "signed in for life".

Now the house is up for sale - soon there won't be an excuse that he can return to his home and be cared for - sister extremely upset at seeing him in NH propped up in a chair all day in the tv room with dozens of others... no one on one stimulation - breaks her heart! He begs her to "get me out of here" every time...

Isn't the person who has the Power of Attorney supposed to "follow the wishes" of that person (assuming they are known)?

What recourse does the sister have? She doesn't want it to seem like she is trying to gain control of the money (she isn't, she just cares about his well-being) and her brother is going to cause all kinds of grief. There is an attorney for her father - should she write him with her concerns about his wishes being followed (even if it costs more, which he can afford, or takes more effort because we think that is one reason he was put in there - less work for the son)?


Senior Member
The person who granted power of attorney can revoke it at any time assuming he or she remains mentally competent.

As for the son buying into a plan that prepays father's care for life, that does NOT require the father to stay there. At worst the payment could be lost. It is possible that a lawyer may be able to get it rescinded depending n the facts -- with a partial refund.

BUT before you blame your brother for wanting to make his own life easier, PLEASE recognize elder care is VERY VERY hard work, physically and emptionallyt draining, it requires extensive supervision to maintain someone and it may be that the best place is a GOOD facility.

As for stimulation, you could arrange to visit each day, or pay for stimulating activities and companionship or private duty nursing care.


Not my brother (but a close relative none the less).
And no, the father is no longer competent.

We also don't believe that the son has "prepaid" anything, sure it is a month to month payment - just an excuse to make the sister go away and think that it is final.

As for elder care I am very aware how hard it can be, some members of the family (who are more than capable and available) have offered (are out of work and would accept the smaller amount of money the previous unqualified help were getting), or what we were saying that if he paid more he would get younger more qualified help - these same kind of people are being hired by the Nursing Home, and there are those that do live-in care out there.

As for visiting, many of us are far away and can't afford to make the trip often (would be there myself everyday if I could) and as for hiring outside help, again no one in the family could afford that (except the son, even without control of his father's money) - and overall the argument could be made that the NH is cheaper (eventhough it is one of the newer, higher priced one) but that was not the point, he can afford it and would spend it if he had a say anymore to be cared for in his own home.

Still leaves me with the original question - if the person with the Power of Attorney is not following the know wishes of the person can they be forced to comply (and how) or removed and a third party appointed?

Dandy Don

Senior Member
Person with POA does not have to "follow the exact wishes" of someone else--their defense is going to be "How was I supposed to know what the exact wishes were if they are not written down?" and it is assumed that the person granting the power of attorney has some reason for doing so because that person doesn't want to or is unable to make decisions on his own, so the POA has virtually complete authority to make whatever decisions he wants.

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