Getting ready for visitation court

[ohiomomof3]

Will someone please give advice?!? Everyone keeps telling me they can't

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?ohio
Okay, I tried to submit a legnthy thread, but I had to login again, so I will try to keep it simple. 3 1/2 year relationship with 2yr old's father. Living together more on than off, the offtimes were when he relapsed with alcohol/drugs. I made him leave, then we would go to couseling, he'd get treatment be good for awhile, then right back to it. He is very special to all of us (his son as well as my 2 from prior marriage). We have tried and tried to get him help, but he'd rather live in a bar than with a family. He left us supposedly to get his act straight and live with his sister, but it ended up being with another woman who is friends with the sister. I was crushed, but made arrangements with him and we met on his lunch breaks with the boys, and occasionally he would come and stay with us. He decided to leave the other woman and try to work things out, yes, I give too many chances, but love this man and he needs help. We were only together for a week, and on the last evening together, his sister offered to babysit so we could go out for dinner. We went to get the child, and found that she let the 'other' woman watch our child while the went to the bar. I ended up getting assaulted by the brother-in-law and yes, did press chargeswithout a statement from my ex who pulled the guy off me. My ex left us the next day, and now they are taking me to court for visitation. I have protection orders against all but the father. I don't mind him being with our child, but the rest of them are alcoholics/drug users and I didn't know that until all of this. I am a homebody, and niave when it comes to judging some unfortunately. Legal aid said to get a guardian appointed for the child but they couldn't represent me. I haven't witheld visitation, he hasn't even tried, but made complaint that I was in contempt. I can't call him because of my protection orders, he knows that, but he hasn't made attampts to see the child at all. He even quit his job to get out of support. I know without us he will be using and drinking. Will the guardian help me get supervised?

 

[BL]

The Guardian Ad Litem is an attorney appointed by the Court ( If you request one it should be granted ), to protect a Child Legally .

Usually upon the request the court will reschedule the next hearing so the Guardian can interview any ,some,or all the parties.

If your husband or attorney ask for a temporary visitation Order, you should reply that he is an alcoholic and about the restraining Orders, and his relationship with these people and ask no visits take place at this point .

All you can do is hope the Judge agrees.

You should call around to Family Law Attorneys to see if they will represent you Pro Bono ( volunteer ) .

 

[ohiomomof3]

thank you for the quick response. I haven't had any luck with probono, I have made several phone calls, still making them though until the court date.

 

[BL]

I don't know about your State, but In mine if your income is at or below the poverty level, and you qualify, the court can and will appoint a Lawyer in Custody/visitation matters .

If nothing else, you might get a consult w/ a Family Law Attorney for a small fee.

See if your area has a Lawyer referral Service or call around yourself .

 

[ohiomomof3]

More drama to the situation

Well, I have been awaiting our date still, for the first of next month, now I have recieved a menacing complaint and have to appear in court vs. ex's new gf. I spoke with the local authorities, and received the dispatch records showing that I made an anonymous call of the ex at the bar, and I only did that due to the detective's request. They know I am trying to get supervised visitation, and need documentation of his behavior. He is on probation and forbidden to be in a bar, much less drink. Their call was made 9 min. after mine, and hopefully that will help me out since I had no verbal, or physical contact with my ex or the gf. The date is the following day after visitaion hearing. The cheif stated they will try to prove it as a false allegation, and the state will pursue further action, however, now I have a pending complaint against me, and I haven't had anything higher than a speeding ticket. I have to appear in court next week for the assault that occured with my ex's family. The witnesses to their claims were all present at the time I was assaulted. Will all of my police reports and court docs help the judge determine that they are all out to get me? Do they pay attention to any of that w/out a lawyer present? I have tried local bar assoc., and received a refusal letter and as stated before, told to get a guardian for the childs best interest. I am just worried because they outnumber me. We are moving this month, and I hope I can keep my address confidential if at all possible, can they help with that as well? I still can't believe after all of these months and crazy things happening that my ex has yet to make an attempt to see the child. Will they also consider this when he was the one who filed for the contempt? We only have 10 days to move and now I have to spend 3 of those days in court.

 

[ohiomomof3]

Still scared of outcome

Okay, my sons and I have found a new home, and are trying to begin a new life. Since my last post, I have had children's services come, and everything went in my favor. I haven't had any contact w/father since well, over 2 months now. While loading the moving truck, he did finally call us. I was civil with him, yet shared my disappointment with what he and his family were putting us through. He of course acts like he has no idea what I am talking about. My assault will be going to trial, the prosecutor says there will be no offers to plea down (there is a God), and I hope to make it through the menacing charge against me the day following our visitation hearing. I refused to tell him where I was moving, I told him with the pending court dates, I wasn't comfortable, and he should be understanding. He hasn't worked or payed support in 2 months, quit the job. I have documentation that he was to go trough mental/drug & alcohol treatment, which he hasn't done. I am still very frightened because I am outnumbered and have no legal representation, I was turned down by the Bar Assoc. I will be requesting the guardian at latem? (not sure on spelling)
Basically, my main concernis, can I get contempt for not sharing our future address, and he did request to see our son before the court date? We are moving and have court Monday, so its only a few days. I have told him I am requesting supervised because of his lifestyle and history. He stated that if that is what happens, he will sign over his rights. Now does that sound like a father to you? He makes no sense. I am just nervous.

 

[BL]

I think you'll do ok .

Just bring up the assaults.The drinking and drug usage, and ask that visitations be ordered supervised at least temporally.
Ask for the appointment of the Guardian Ad Litem ( attorney for the child ).

Explain the assault case is the next day .

Hopefully the Judge will either order temporary supervised visits,or no visits for the time being, and reschedule another hearing so the Guardian can conduct interviews , etc .

Calm down .

 

[ohiomomof3]

Update

Okay, we had our modificaton in front of magistrate. I had to get CASA to get the new g/f removed as well as the father's sister, I had court the next day with the g/f for allegedly menacing them, and the sister's husband was the one who is going to trial for assaulting me. The CASA volunteers were the only ones who listened to a word I said. Bless them all.

My ex was granted supervised visitations, since he was making the complaint of not seeing our son. He conveniently dropped off a partial payment for CS the day of court, the first one in 3 months. He has yet to make an appointment with the visitation house, its been a month. He has been telling everyone he/we know that I won't let him see him. No biggie to me, I just was hoping for them to re-establish a relationship, we're going on 5 months now, and the last time my 2 yr old saw his father, he wanted nothing to do with him.

The father continues to go to the bars frequently, I can't prove his under-the-table employment, I have tried to inform his probaton officer that he needs to complete his drug/alcohol treatment not only for his benefit, but for our child. They think I am instigating trouble, which couldn't be farther than the truth.

If anyone out there is in a similar situation, CASA is the reason I haven't lost my hope, they have been very supportive, and understand that the time with his father, supervised, will be one-on-one, not sticking him in front of a TV, which would likely be the outcome if unsupervised, as well as the exposure to drug/alcohol abuse.

I have 2 open cases yet, which will be my only contact with my ex, and even then, will be unpleasant due to the circumstances. It is very sad that while in the company of others, people change so much. My son misses his daddy, even though he doesn't understand quite yet. I do still hope for his father's rehabilitaton so they can have a relationship in the future. All this for drugs/alcohol. He's found a more tolerate partner, and someone to share his bad habits with, so its not looking very good for him right now. I just wish they would quit wasting my time/money for frivilous court appearances, it does take me away from my duties as a mother as well.

Wow, I need to quit rambling, is it obvious I have a lack of adult interacton?
Thank you to all who make this board possible too, it has been very informative.