Girlfriend goes crazy, Boyfriend in Jail!

[stealth2]

Well A has an overdeveloped sense of chivalry and/or gentlemanliness and thus would rather put up with J's crap than to leave her with nowhere to go.

Sorry, but from what you yourself have posted, your friend is a weenie who needs to grow a pair and be a man.

Then A asks me onto the scene because me can trust and rely on me, plus I am California born-and-bred, he is not and he believes I would have better insight. I could really care less if she goes home to Russia or builds a life for herself here in the US; all I want is for her to be gone.

See above. Your best advice to him should be to consult an attorney. Regardless your status as "born and bred" in California, you're obviously not doing much to help this mess.

And to set the record straight, they are both natives of Russia, J's landed him in hot water with the local PD and university based on her false claims, and to have her approach these entities and say that it was all a huge mistake is very important to his standing in the community.

I gotta tell ya something. Given that I have more than a few ties to the Russian community in my area and elsewhere, nobody in "the community" really cares about any of this. A needs to just move on along.

But I love how you just think we're all crazy. That helps out a lot.

Well..... when it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck..... Maybe not crazy. Dysfunctional? Uuuuh.... yeah.

And some unsolicited advice? Whatever you do - don't get intimately involved with A.

 

[CJane]

And some unsolicited advice? Whatever you do - don't get intimately involved with A.

I'd be willing to bet it's a little too late for that.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Basically, A is whacking himself in the head with a hammer and yelling "This hurts! Do something!" at gryndor.

 

[gryndor]

A could care less about the Russian community. I meant his standing at the university and in our town. And as for getting intimately involved with A, that is a non-issue. Drama isn't exactly my style for potential partners... nor are psycho exs.

I concede that yes, in these circumstances, we are behaving in a dysfunctional way... in the very literal sense: we are not functioning well. This mess needs to be worked through and if I had some answers/experience, if A had some backbone, and if J had some maturity and chill-pills then I'm sure none of this would have come to dysfunction.

But the fact remains that there is a trespasser in A's home that he can't muster the gall to kick out. I have been dragged into this so that poor A isn't dragged off to jail again because J can't deal with her own issues and has to use the PD to manipulate people.

I've received some good advice and I hope to use it well (or at least pass it along), but this extraneous crap about all of us being dysfunctional, well... thanks for the bleeding obvious.

 

[stealth2]

A could care less about the Russian community. I meant his standing at the university and in our town.

Actually.... the U and town probably don't care much, either.

And as for getting intimately involved with A, that is a non-issue. Drama isn't exactly my style for potential partners... nor are psycho exs.

Just for friends?

I concede that yes, in these circumstances, we are behaving in a dysfunctional way... in the very literal sense: we are not functioning well. This mess needs to be worked through and if I had some answers/experience, if A had some backbone, and if J had some maturity and chill-pills then I'm sure none of this would have come to dysfunction.

A might grow a backbone if you quit enabling him.

But the fact remains that there is a trespasser in A's home that he can't muster the gall to kick out. I have been dragged into this so that poor A isn't dragged off to jail again because J can't deal with her own issues and has to use the PD to manipulate people.

There is no trespasser. There is a young woman who was INVITED to stay in his apartment, that he apparently hasn't got the balls to tell to leave. And SHE has issues? Sheesh!

I've received some good advice and I hope to use it well (or at least pass it along), but this extraneous crap about all of us being dysfunctional, well... thanks for the bleeding obvious.

Well, just wanted to point out the big duck in the corner of the room.

 

[peppier]

Have you called INS? Just look under US Government in the phone book and call them and let them know she is here. They should then come and deport her. I don't know if they will but they should anyway.

 

[CourtClerk]

Have you called INS? Just look under US Government in the phone book and call them and let them know she is here. They should then come and deport her. I don't know if they will but they should anyway.

Puhleeze. This is California we're talking about. Half the population is now illegal. They just don't care.

 

[CdwJava]

Puhleeze. This is California we're talking about. Half the population is now illegal. They just don't care.

In truth, they don't have the resources to go after all the people who are here illegally. I know of a lady who hooked up with a radical Arab from Palestine, they got married, and then he proceeded to leave her and is now somewhere in the San Francisco area ... she has gotten the marriage annulled and has told INS about the problem and they said they will only place a hold on him if he gets arrested!

He COULD be a terrorist or someone gathering info for them, yet they won't do anything about it in spite of receiving leads!

It's quite scary, actually.

- Carl

 

[gryndor]

Just an Update

Hey there. I wonder how much you all would like/care to see updates to these situations. If you don't give a damn, sorry to waste the space.

So all the Dr. Phil Drama aside, A and J were having a conversation over dinner when he started saying nasty things (according to J) and she hit A over the head with a steaming tea kettle (earlier in the day she had lunged for A's cell phone while he was using it and raked her nails across his cheek). A got angry and started to yell. J started to scream and A put his hands over her mouth, shushing her. She started screaming her guts out and A's LL came down to see what was happening. J screamed to the LL that A "beats me, he beats me!!" The LL asked if J wanted help and J actually slammed the door in the LL's face.

A finally had enough. He called me (yeah yeah), we three went and had her buy a ticket to Russia, and then took her back to A's place to pack her stuff. She refused, we all started arguing and she went crazy. She slammed me into the bureau and leaped after A. I held her by the wrists while A dialed 911. I talked to the dispatcher and then to the officers dispatched, and they entered the apartment and diffused the situation. An hour later, she was packed and out the door.

J is staying in a hotel across the Bay and her flight leaves in two days.

Thank you for all your responses. Even the ones that raked me/us over the coals. Replies are better than silence. As for me, I'm off to bed.