Grandmother fighting

[sandrasds]

What is the name of your state? Ms.
I have a grandchild almost 3, she has been with us almost since birth, Her mother & father signed custody over to us in 2003, mother has left my son, & now trying to get the baby back. We have been to court already 3 times, & it seems as if the mother is getting closer to getting her, The court is trying to see if she has changed, & is fit to take care of the baby, She had 3 winteses that tesitified for her, that has only been around the baby just since the first court, which was in June 2004, We had 7 witeness that hasn't even got to testifiy, that has been around the baby all of her life, the mother was caught in a lot of lies on the stand, even against another lawyer. The mothers family, which the baby would be involved a lot, are drug users,drunks,& even the mothers mother is living with a man, & not divorced from the last husband, they use all kind of nasty words around the child, she has even come back saying some of them. There has been alot of molesting in there family also even down to the mother beeing molested. I really fear for my grandchild & would like any kind of help I can get. The mother just wouldn't take care of the child to begin with, she would call an Aunt on weekends for her to come & get her, from the time the baby was 3 days old till I got the custody of her. Please help! Can anyone give any sugestions.Please!
Thank you
fighting grandmother

 

[mom2three]

The mothers family, which the baby would be involved a lot, are drug users,drunks,& even the mothers mother is living with a man, & not divorced from the last husband, they use all kind of nasty words around the child, she has even come back saying some of them. There has been alot of molesting in there family also even down to the mother beeing molested.

Do you have proof of this?

Why did the mother and father give up custody in the first place? Was it temporary custody?
You may be granted grandparents rights since you were the primary caregiver of the child, but I'm not sure about the custody thing.

Good luck!

 

[sandrasds]

Grandmother fighting answers

Yea, I have proof of that & the reason they gave up Custody in the first place was that she just wasn't taking care of her & didn't wont her, she would leave for 3 days at a time without letting anyone know where she was, it is a whole lot more to it than just what little I wrote, even my lawyer remarked there was so much, from her calling an Aunt that lived about an hour away, when the baby the first time wasn't but 3 days old, & asking if the Aunt wonted her.I have witness to her telling the baby you're the reason I don't wont any more kids,& calling her stupid, & screaming at her, I had to even stay on her about going to the Dr. when she was carrying her, she told me in my house that she wasn't ready to have a baby, but she knew that if she didn't have one that she would lose my son, that she knew he wasn't going to walk out on her. She caused my son to lose his job by calling him at work and acting like there was something wrong with her, This girl took us for everything,her side of the family never helped or got involved with the baby,the one time the other grandmother did get involved was when I gave the baby a party,she showed up drunk with the boyfriend, & didn't even stay long enough for her to open her gifts, this is just a small part of everything, there's so much more but thank you for the replies

 

[Phnx02]

The mother sounds unfit, but what about your son? Where was he when the baby was 3 days old and being left with an aunt? Why did your son give you custody instead of taking care of his child himself? Does he have a job? Does he have a relationship with his child? Does he give you any money for taking care of his child for him? You can put all kind of blame on the mother, but there's been no mention of your son and his responsibility.

If BOTH parents are unfit, then the child is surely better off with you.....especially since you've stepped forward in raising the child for the last 3 years. You need to keep up the fight. However, unless the mother has some really serious emotional, physical, neglectful, drug or alcohol problems, most courts are going to give her (and your son) a 2nd chance at parenthood by reuniting her with the child. What is your son's role in all this?

 

[sandrasds]

grandmother fighting con.

The mother more so just wouldn't take care of the child, & he knew she would be better off with me, yea he was working & had to come home & fix his own meals & wash clothes & clean the house, while she laid up & slept till 1:00 every day. Which it didn't hurt him as far as that part, but he knew she wasn't going to care of the baby, He, like myself had heard the mother tell the child you're the reason I don't wont any more kids, call her a little brat & little bitch, & you're so stupid, This girl was just ready to leave home, which I can say from hearing many stories on how her mother did her, to a certain point I felt sorry for her, but after the baby got here, I tried to coach her to make that bond, she fussed if she had to feed her or if it was something that she made a mess with, she fussed about that, wouldn't bath or bath the baby. And as far as where my son was he was with her, but she would tell him that her Aunt called & wonted to come & get the baby, that she wonted to take her & buy some stuff, Which he let her rule him, & believe me we had our rounds about the way he wouldn't step up & do his part for the baby & not let her be going off like that. Yea he sees her everyday, he brings her in something whenever he can, sometimes he gets off of work late. As far as the court, he is going to fight for her, the reason he's didn't up front was he was under the impression that he would have to fight against me, & he didn't wont to put me through that, but now that we have found out different he going ahead with it. yea he helps me with her & I'm not upholding him, because in my eyes he is just as unfit as she is, because he was raised different, and this was his first real relationship, and as I told him he just didn't use his brain. He fell for her to fast, & even after they married she threw it in his face all the time that he was just her ticket away from home, she did this even in front of me & other members of the family.
Thanks
Grandmother

 

[MominNJ]

I'm just curious, if she didn't want the baby, hated her, hated taking care of her, pushed her off to everyone else, why does she now want her back?
You haven't seen her since 2003? Could it be that she changed and misses her baby?
Personally, I don't and probably won't ever understand how a mother could act that way to a newborn baby. But I do believe wholeheartedly that people change, clean up their act and deserve second chances sometimes.
My guess is that if she's been to court three times and continues to pursue this, is that she really wants her little girl back in her life.

 

[sandrasds]

answers

She called me one morning & wonted to know if she could claim her on the taxes, I told her no because she wasn't taking care of her, Her Aunt told me this also, that she don't wont to have to work, & this way she could get welfare & food stamps, & child support. Yea I've seen her, she & my son lived right here at us, & she didn't leave from out here till march 31st 2004, even after giving me the custody, she never tried to be a mother to the child, I have tried to keep her involved with the baby all along, she just did this after I told her she couldn't claim her. The Aunt also told me that it was her mother that told her if she didn't get the baby back she would kick her out,which now she has a place but didn't move into it untill Feb.2 when it was pointed out in court. Mostly to it kinda boils down to her mother hating me, but it wasn't my fault she threw away the time she could of been a grandmother, she was to busy being in bars,& running every man down that would go with her. This baby has every thing a child needs & more, I am guilty of spoiling her, they have been somewhat jealous from the start, but they could of did better, we just don't throw our money away on beer & drugs. It is just mainly her mother in behind this Thank you - Grandmother

 

[MominNJ]

it's sad

How sad for the little girl and how hard this must be for you. Hang in there.

I will never understand why a mother would be like that.