Grandmother has custody and now I don't like it..

[justalayman]

Damn for real? I even used Grammarly?. I wrote it down as I would have said it in person. I have never got them responses before. My bad. Let me try this again when I'm not upset like I was last night.

I'm from Kentucky and I'm 30 years old... I have 3 kids. Their ages are 14,7 and 1. The cabinet had temporary guardianship. They were living with us but only because we moved in with my brother. Since we did not complete the plan but was in the midst of it but not as fast as they wanted. I and my wife would fail for drugs at the end we had like 3 in a row clean. Anyways we were still afraid and had no bad thought that he grandma would say no to anything about the kids and it was agreed to give custody out of our own accord and decided once we did the plan we would go back to court and get custody cause that's we lacked for the cabinet to be happy..the cabinet when in court did not have any beef with that but they didn't want us to live we the grandma but on that they didn't get what they wanted..so the case was done and stricken not sure what that meant. Couple months later court is done..dbcs is done... an incident occurs. I would like to keep.that personal. but I can tell u my wife and grandma got questioned by social worker and was told saying that the social worker has to do an investigation at my mom and dads house where it occurred....no social worker has been down to talk to none of us.the kids are at the grandma who has custody she won't let us take them cause she said the social worker said the kids can't come here.. She called today saying the reason why is the social worker took off from work. So what does that mean if grandma is telling truth? It must not be that bad right. i don't understand..

This is just as confusing as your first post

It,sounds like you simply refused to do what it takes for the courts to allow you to see your children, let alone regain custody of them. Now you seem to be upset the custodian has acted, on the advice of the dcbs or maybe even a courts order at this time, to deny you visitation with the children.

You need to address this by researching the actions any court has ordered. Understand that dcbs can initiate an action in the courts and obtain orders even without you going to court. Often time dcbs will initiate a court action on behalf of the children and obtain an order withiut you being aware of it. Due to some of the statements you have made, i wonder if there there is a possibility you and your wife’s parental rights may have been terminated.


Anyway, you’ll need to research the current court’s orders to figure out where all this stands. You can call dcbs and inquire. They may be able to tell you where things stand.

 

[commentator]

Okay are you and your wife both posting? I'd suspect this is the person who tried to commit suicide and messed up his wife's visitation/ effort toward custody? The one who has perfect faith in her in laws to let her have the children when she wants to take them grocery shopping.That's my guess.

From the sound of it, yes, there have been some things that have gone down in the court system that you do not seem to be aware of.
Getting an attorney to figure out for you what has happened and exactly what your situation with the children is would be a good sound move here. You cannot hope to ever get custody back, or even get unsupervised visitation of the children unless you comply with what is required of you. Not knowing what that is exactly is going to make it hard to do that.

 

[Just Blue]

Okay are you and your wife both posting? I'd suspect this is the person who tried to commit suicide and messed up his wife's visitation/ effort toward custody? The one who has perfect faith in her in laws to let her have the children when she wants to take them grocery shopping.That's my guess.

From the sound of it, yes, there have been some things that have gone down in the court system that you do not seem to be aware of.
Getting an attorney to figure out for you what has happened and exactly what your situation with the children is would be a good sound move here. You cannot hope to ever get custody back, or even get unsupervised visitation of the children unless you comply with what is required of you. Not knowing what that is exactly is going to make it hard to do that.

That other thread is NC not KY.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Okay are you and your wife both posting? I'd suspect this is the person who tried to commit suicide and messed up his wife's visitation/ effort toward custody? The one who has perfect faith in her in laws to let her have the children when she wants to take them grocery shopping.That's my guess.

From the sound of it, yes, there have been some things that have gone down in the court system that you do not seem to be aware of.
Getting an attorney to figure out for you what has happened and exactly what your situation with the children is would be a good sound move here. You cannot hope to ever get custody back, or even get unsupervised visitation of the children unless you comply with what is required of you. Not knowing what that is exactly is going to make it hard to do that.

This is KY.
The woman whose husband attempted suicide is in NC.

Back to hapless @NationalGaurdian :

Damn for real? I even used Grammarly?. I wrote it down as I would have said it in person. I have never got them responses before. My bad. Let me try this again when I'm not upset like I was last night.

You have to use the American English version, not the Kentucky Bluegrass one.

I'm from Kentucky and I'm 30 years old... I have 3 kids. Their ages are 14,7 and 1. The cabinet had temporary guardianship. They were living with us but only because we moved in with my brother. Since we did not complete the plan but was in the midst of it but not as fast as they wanted. I and my wife would fail for drugs at the end we had like 3 in a row clean. Anyways we were still afraid and had no bad thought that he grandma would say no to anything about the kids and it was agreed to give custody out of our own accord and decided once we did the plan we would go back to court and get custody cause that's we lacked for the cabinet to be happy..the cabinet when in court did not have any beef with that but they didn't want us to live we the grandma but on that they didn't get what they wanted..so the case was done and stricken not sure what that meant. Couple months later court is done..dbcs is done... an incident occurs. I would like to keep.that personal. but I can tell u my wife and grandma got questioned by social worker and was told saying that the social worker has to do an investigation at my mom and dads house where it occurred....no social worker has been down to talk to none of us.the kids are at the grandma who has custody she won't let us take them cause she said the social worker said the kids can't come here.. She called today saying the reason why is the social worker took off from work. So what does that mean if grandma is telling truth? It must not be that bad right. i don't understand..

3 in a row isn't nearly enough.

Stop using drugs. Completely. Not just 90% of the time, or even 99% of the time. NO DRUGS AT ALL. It can be done. And, just to be clear, don't substitute legal drugs for the non-legal ones, because that will be replacing one addiction with another.

You needed to be completely clean. 100%. Able to pass any drug test at any time for much more than a year.

As I told you before:
1) If Grandma lets the children spend prolonged unsupervised time with you and/or mom, DCBS CAN TAKE ACTION TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN and put them into foster care with a non-relative. Why? Because you are drug addicted abusive parents in their eyes, and a danger to your children.

2) The first step towards seeing your kids is to address what DCBS considers problems. You have to be able to show that whatever DCBS thought you were doing wrong, is no longer a factor, that you have learned and changed, and are ready to be good parents. Contact DCBS and ask about drug treatment programs and parenting classes.

 

[stealth2]

You have to use the American English version, not the Kentucky Bluegrass one.

Interestingly, I also use Grammarly, and when I c&p'd OP's posts? It showed few errors. I was shocked. But then.... free version!

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Interestingly, I also use Grammarly, and when I c&p'd OP's posts? It showed a few errors. I was shocked. But then.... free version!

Weird, I too use the free one and I only had three errors in the OP.

dbcs step?.its months . That last one is for the space between the "months" and the period.

 

[Zigner]

Are you folks saying that Kentucky's had it right all along?

 

[not2cleverRed]

Are you folks saying that Kentucky's had it right all along?

Kentucky is the free version.

 

[justalayman]

Kentucky is the free version.

Are you suggesting those with money are treated differently than those without? Seems a bit suggestive of a prejudice to me.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

The paid version of Grammarly certainly provides more corrections than the free version.

 

[NationalGaurdian]

Just to clarify, as most of of don't speak whatever dialect this is...

NationalGuardian is 30 years old and in Kentucky.
NationalGuardian and his wife have been a couple for 16 years. (They probably married after they were a together as a couple for a while.)
He has 3 children with his wife: a boy, age 14, and 2 girls, ages 7 and 1.
DCBS (Dept. for Community Based Services) has become involved at some point.
NationalGuardian and his wife were concerned that rather than just family support, DCBS's involvement would result in the court removing the children from the family.
5 months ago, NationalGuard and his wife agreed to let Grandma (NationalGuard's mother-in-law) have custody of the 3 children, and in exchange the judge announced that "the court case was stricken". So, basically, whatever actions were being taken to remove the children from NationalGuard's custody ceased, because the children were no longer in his custody.

NationalGuard wants to know:
1) Can DCBS place restrictions on the mother-in-law; can DCBS prevent the mother-in-law from allowing the children unsupervised time with their parents. Answer: If whatever got you into DCBS's crosshairs hasn't changed, then if the mother-in-law lets the children spend prolonged unsupervised time with you and/or mom, DCBS CAN TAKE ACTION TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN and put them into foster care with a non-relative.

2) When can he regain custody of his kids. Answer: The first step is to determine what brought you to DCBS's attention and address that. Look up "Family Reunification". You have to be able to show that whatever DCBS thought you were doing wrong, is no longer a factor, that you have learned and changed, and are ready to be good parents.

Thank you for not jumping on the bandwagon in regards to my writing skills.. I didn't come here to be demolished and reminded how the school system was too worried about how to get me out of the class rather than find ways for me to learn such skills.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you for not jumping on the bandwagon in regards to my writing skills.. I didn't come here to be demolished and reminded how the school system was too worried about how to get me out of the class rather than find ways for me to learn such skills.

You're ^ post is fine...no problem understanding what you mean. Now...Please state the legal issue in the same well written, comprehensible manner and we will all try to help.

 

[NationalGaurdian]

Doesn't sound like you and your wife want custody if completing the plan was just too much for either of you. Drugs seem to be more important. If grandma is told you and your wife can't take the children, then you know it's because the social worker is back in your kid's lives because of something you guys did. Don't get pissy with grandma because she's doing what she has to ensure her grandchildren don't wind up in foster care. You should be grateful there's a family member who was there for when you stopped making your children your top priority. And whatever happened obviously was pretty bad if you won't even specify what it was that you did this time to screw up.

It's a hard pill to swallow but your slightly right. The drugs weren't necessarily more important tho and I'll tell u why. It's all about my thought process at the time . When it comes to being a dad and loving them, providing for them, guiding them no one is better. All this started over failure to write notes to excuse my 7-year-old. It's not that i chose not to its i just didn't think of it at the time. Failing the drug test ima be honest. I didn't know the seriousness and the chances of actually losing my kids..i just didn't think in no way that's they would actually split up a family. Especially a happy family successful in life and I didn't know they would drug test me..and if your not an addict then telling you the difficulties of kicking it would b pointless..you rationalize everything...so my thought was why to give up drugs when I could have both( and have these thoughts knowing my kids will never see or hear me talk about drugs) but knowing that i just didn't have that feeling that i would actually lose them. And in the end, i didn't lose them i gave my custody on paper legally. Away. I felt like i lost nothing until prior to my first post things when i realized i need help cause i I'd up. but back to custody..in reality, i didn't have it anyways cause No matter with or without if the state wants to take my kid's..custody isn't gonna change jack..if it could i would tell them no they aren't gonna take my kids no matter what...i never had thought my plan would do this way cause like right now.. I'm showing what's more important and hopefully becoming wiser by ( a ) getting clean so drugs aren't a factor and (b) coming here asking questions and reading some hard truths even if they are a little judgment hint lol..and grandma lordy lordy you would be pissy to that's all I' ma say about that..that was my wife idea. Please don't try to bash me or tell me how wrong i am and how i shouldn'
t have done this or that..but maybe what i could be doing. i know i can fix this on my own but i also know that i tend to be wrong.. Sorry for letting that post bother me as it did.

 

[stealth2]

It's a hard pill to swallow but your slightly right. The drugs weren't necessarily more important tho and I'll tell u why. It's all about my thought process at the time . When it comes to being a dad and loving them, providing for them, guiding them no one is better. All this started over failure to write notes to excuse my 7-year-old. It's not that i chose not to its i just didn't think of it at the time. Failing the drug test ima be honest. I didn't know the seriousness and the chances of actually losing my kids..i just didn't think in no way that's they would actually split up a family. Especially a happy family successful in life and I didn't know they would drug test me..and if your not an addict then telling you the difficulties of kicking it would b pointless..you rationalize everything...so my thought was why to give up drugs when I could have both( and have these thoughts knowing my kids will never see or hear me talk about drugs) but knowing that i just didn't have that feeling that i would actually lose them. And in the end, i didn't lose them i gave my custody on paper legally. Away. I felt like i lost nothing until prior to my first post things when i realized i need help cause i I'd up. but back to custody..in reality, i didn't have it anyways cause No matter with or without if the state wants to take my kid's..custody isn't gonna change jack..if it could i would tell them no they aren't gonna take my kids no matter what...i never had thought my plan would do this way cause like right now.. I'm showing what's more important and hopefully becoming wiser by ( a ) getting clean so drugs aren't a factor and (b) coming here asking questions and reading some hard truths even if they are a little judgment hint lol..and grandma lordy lordy you would be pissy to that's all I' ma say about that..that was my wife idea. Please don't try to bash me or tell me how wrong i am and how i shouldn'
t have done this or that..but maybe what i could be doing. i know i can fix this on my own but i also know that i tend to be wrong.. Sorry for letting that post bother me as it did.

Oh, stop it and grow up. Take responsibility. No more whining about the state, your wife, grandma. Frankly, I would suggest you talk to a lawyer first thing on Tuesday.