U
urbanpro
Guest
i'm an illinois single, never married, mom facing litigation from non-custodial parent in response to my request that he assume custody of 15 yr old son. i was granted full custody at child's birth, father has been married following birth of my son and is now divorced with 2 children from that marriage. he has resided in another state for the past 5 yrs or so. was granted his requested visitation one weekend/month near child's 3rd-4th yoa.
my request was due to my inability to singly manage my son's transition to both high school (college prep) and a new neighborhood. by april of his 1st yr, son had flat-all F's and was being unruly & disrespectful of my role as mom. at my wits end and having explored other relocation options, i called on his dad. his presence throughout child's life has been inconsistent, however the paternal grandparents have been helpful through both their sense of love for their grandson and shame of their son's primary issue of substance abuse.
what had been a previously workable extended parenting relationship has now evolved into a conspiracy with me as the target. following my agreement with dad that son would complete the school term in my city, but reside with paternal gp's until June. gp's decide w/o consult of their son nor I, that child would remain w/them during the summer and complete summer school here. gracious acceptance of that decision by me presuming they knew something i didn't about the son's ability to take on the responsibility that they didn't care to share w/them. father, however pursues the legal custody action by retaining a lawyer which i presumed was unnecessary given the gp's intervention. now we have a status quo order allowing the child to remain with gps until the next court date as i needed to retain counsel. also, father did not appear on his petition for custody, but the gps and 2 attorney's did. one as counsel for the matenal gm who i was seeking on order of protection against for a physical assault on me when i accompanied my son to their home to obtain clothing for a weekend visit that they were opposed to. the other counsel was the father's on his behalf of the petition.
since the assault, and the fact that he has matured and is learning our respective roles, i have decided to have my son return to me. that is my plea on appearance date, but are there any circumstances that I should be more mindful of in this regard? as history has proven in this family, the energy of the best interests are reflected stronger through the gps than the father. have i compromised my rights as mom? i'm so soory for the length!
my request was due to my inability to singly manage my son's transition to both high school (college prep) and a new neighborhood. by april of his 1st yr, son had flat-all F's and was being unruly & disrespectful of my role as mom. at my wits end and having explored other relocation options, i called on his dad. his presence throughout child's life has been inconsistent, however the paternal grandparents have been helpful through both their sense of love for their grandson and shame of their son's primary issue of substance abuse.
what had been a previously workable extended parenting relationship has now evolved into a conspiracy with me as the target. following my agreement with dad that son would complete the school term in my city, but reside with paternal gp's until June. gp's decide w/o consult of their son nor I, that child would remain w/them during the summer and complete summer school here. gracious acceptance of that decision by me presuming they knew something i didn't about the son's ability to take on the responsibility that they didn't care to share w/them. father, however pursues the legal custody action by retaining a lawyer which i presumed was unnecessary given the gp's intervention. now we have a status quo order allowing the child to remain with gps until the next court date as i needed to retain counsel. also, father did not appear on his petition for custody, but the gps and 2 attorney's did. one as counsel for the matenal gm who i was seeking on order of protection against for a physical assault on me when i accompanied my son to their home to obtain clothing for a weekend visit that they were opposed to. the other counsel was the father's on his behalf of the petition.
since the assault, and the fact that he has matured and is learning our respective roles, i have decided to have my son return to me. that is my plea on appearance date, but are there any circumstances that I should be more mindful of in this regard? as history has proven in this family, the energy of the best interests are reflected stronger through the gps than the father. have i compromised my rights as mom? i'm so soory for the length!