Grandparent Rights in Virginia

[buttermuffin]

My state is: Virgina

Here is my story and maybe you can give me some feedback on how you think my chances are of visitation with my granddaughter.

My Son was married to a girl for about a year, he got her pregnant and however they split up prior to the baby being born. My mother and I had been in contact with my daughter-in-law up until December 15, 2005 when she stopped returning phone calls. I knew the baby was due in January, however was not sure of the date. Things got really heated between my daughter in law and son during this time, he moved back in with us and she moved in with her parents. (they are both 24 years old). We found out on January 27, 2006 that the baby was born on January 17th. My Son has not wanted anything to do with the baby at all. They settled out of court this past Wed on child support and visitation. The visitation is supervised by my daughter in law on Tues and Thurs for about an hour and 1/2 at a common location between her and my Son. Today was the fist meeting, I had asked my Son earlier in the week if I could also go and he never really gave me an answer. (We have been close except for this subject) I got home from work and then he came in about a 1/2 hour after me. Got changed and left. When he returned I asked him if he had changed the meeting date due to all the rain (he said he was going to do that so the baby didn't have to come out in the rain). He said no, I just came back from seeing her. My heart dropped. I have never given up wanting to see her, but I feel so left out right now. Neither of them are including myself, husband or my Mother. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I want to be a part of her life but I feel I'm being pushed out. Any advise would be great advise. Do I have a right to see the baby or do I just have to try to live with it the way it is?

Thank youWhat is the name of your state?

 

[tigger22472]

My state is: Virgina

Here is my story and maybe you can give me some feedback on how you think my chances are of visitation with my granddaughter.

My Son was married to a girl for about a year, he got her pregnant and however they split up prior to the baby being born. My mother and I had been in contact with my daughter-in-law up until December 15, 2005 when she stopped returning phone calls. I knew the baby was due in January, however was not sure of the date. Things got really heated between my daughter in law and son during this time, he moved back in with us and she moved in with her parents. (they are both 24 years old). We found out on January 27, 2006 that the baby was born on January 17th. My Son has not wanted anything to do with the baby at all. They settled out of court this past Wed on child support and visitation. The visitation is supervised by my daughter in law on Tues and Thurs for about an hour and 1/2 at a common location between her and my Son. Today was the fist meeting, I had asked my Son earlier in the week if I could also go and he never really gave me an answer. (We have been close except for this subject) I got home from work and then he came in about a 1/2 hour after me. Got changed and left. When he returned I asked him if he had changed the meeting date due to all the rain (he said he was going to do that so the baby didn't have to come out in the rain). He said no, I just came back from seeing her. My heart dropped. I have never given up wanting to see her, but I feel so left out right now. Neither of them are including myself, husband or my Mother. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. I want to be a part of her life but I feel I'm being pushed out. Any advise would be great advise. Do I have a right to see the baby or do I just have to try to live with it the way it is?

Thank youWhat is the name of your state?

Grandparents do not have inherited rights to see their grandchildren at all if the parents are not receptive of that. In cases where it has been ordered by a court it must be proven that it's in the child's best interest and in MOST cases must also prove an ongoing relationship with the child, which you cannot prove.

 

[ceara19]

There's also the possibility that the father CAN'T bring anyone else to the supervised visits.

 

[buttermuffin]

There is nothing on paper. It was all settled out of court. My Son (the father) has had me by his side all along the way until just this. I've seen all the court documents.

My question is if they deny me any visitiation do I in the state of VA have any rights as a Grandparent to be able to see the child?

 

[stealth2]

Considering how new the situation is, perhaps it would be best to let it be for a bit and allow your son that time to bond with his baby.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

My question is if they deny me any visitiation do I in the state of VA have any rights as a Grandparent to be able to see the child?

no. Plain and simple.

 

[tigger22472]

no. Plain and simple.

Guess sometimes you must be direct... I thought I was clear in that

 

[fairisfair]

Give it some time grandma. Let them start to work things out on their own. Perhaps after things settle down a little both your son and the mother of your grandchild will be in a better position to involve you in the baby's life. After all, this was the FIRST meeting.

 

[knd2517]

There is nothing on paper. It was all settled out of court. My Son (the father) has had me by his side all along the way until just this. I've seen all the court documents.

My question is if they deny me any visitiation do I in the state of VA have any rights as a Grandparent to be able to see the child?

An out of court settlement is still a settlement. It may not have been ruled on by a Judge but it's still enforceable as such and I'm sure there is something in writing.

In VA, GPs have virtually no rights to visitation. You have to prove that lack of visits would harm the child. Difficult to do.

Like the other posters said, give the parents time to adjust to this first and then perhaps you will be allowed to see the child. Step back, keep quiet and let them work it out themselves. The fact that they agreed on visits between themselves is a big first step. Don't mess it up by trying to get involved, no matter what your reasons are.

KND

 

[Ohiogal]

An out of court settlement is still a settlement. It may not have been ruled on by a Judge but it's still enforceable as such and I'm sure there is something in writing.

In VA, GPs have virtually no rights to visitation. You have to prove that lack of visits would harm the child. Difficult to do.

Like the other posters said, give the parents time to adjust to this first and then perhaps you will be allowed to see the child. Step back, keep quiet and let them work it out themselves. The fact that they agreed on visits between themselves is a big first step. Don't mess it up by trying to get involved, no matter what your reasons are.

KND

You do not know what you are talking about. Do not post about issues you know nothing about. When it comes to visitation matters an out of court settlement is not enforceable unless it has been ruled on by a judge. Learn the law before you give advice on it.

 

[knd2517]

You do not know what you are talking about. Do not post about issues you know nothing about. When it comes to visitation matters an out of court settlement is not enforceable unless it has been ruled on by a judge. Learn the law before you give advice on it.

You are intimate with VA law, Ohiogal?

Why don't some parents who have "settled" chime in here and see how unenforceable a settlement is.
I had one. You want to bet it wasn't enforceable? Even if not enforceable by statutory law, find a Judge who isn't going to consider it precedent behavior and rule in favor.
The poster doesn't indicate whether a Judge signed off on it or not. Just that the parties settled.

Your guru here seems to be Laura. What's her opinion of a settlement?

KND

 

[weenor]

You are intimate with VA law, Ohiogal?

Why don't some parents who have "settled" chime in here and see how unenforceable a settlement is.
I had one. You want to bet it wasn't enforceable? Even if not enforceable by statutory law, find a Judge who isn't going to consider it precedent behavior and rule in favor.
The poster doesn't indicate whether a Judge signed off on it or not. Just that the parties settled.

Your guru here seems to be Laura. What's her opinion of a settlement?

KND

She doesn't have to be intimate with VA law to know that an out of court settlement, not approved by the judge is useless. If the judge has not reviewed and signed the parties' settlement they are not divorced and their rights with regard to child support and visitation are NOT enforceable. NO judge is going to find contempt or anything else for violating an agreement that did not have the blessing of the court. You obviously do not understand your agreement or the process, so as Ohiogal stated, stop posting.

 

[LdiJ]

You are intimate with VA law, Ohiogal?

Why don't some parents who have "settled" chime in here and see how unenforceable a settlement is.
I had one. You want to bet it wasn't enforceable? Even if not enforceable by statutory law, find a Judge who isn't going to consider it precedent behavior and rule in favor.
The poster doesn't indicate whether a Judge signed off on it or not. Just that the parties settled.

Your guru here seems to be Laura. What's her opinion of a settlement?

KND

My view is that you still don't know what you are talking about.

As you have already been told, unless the settlement was signed off on by the judge its NOT enforceable and is not even worth the paper its printed on. It also has no value as "precedent behavior" either.....unless you happen to get a judge that doesn't follow the law in making his/her rulings.

And yes, before you snipe at me, I AM familiar with the gpv statutes in VA.

 

[Emerald Eyez]

It does need to be signed off by a judge, in order to be enforced. It sounds to me like the whole case is a sympathy that the mother extended to the father, on a trial basis. I believe there are some deep personal issues that need to be resolved between the parents, before they can start healing and forming new relationships with their baby, by involving the grandparents. Unfortunately for you, your son does not have custody of the baby. The father has a right to fight for custody of the baby, in court, or at least better visitation privileges, if the situation does not work for him. It's a constitutional right, that cannot be denied. Settling out in court does not satisfy this personal right. It's usually a way of avoiding a permanent ruling, or trying to receive a lesser punishment.

 

[knd2517]

My view is that you still don't know what you are talking about.

As you have already been told, unless the settlement was signed off on by the judge its NOT enforceable and is not even worth the paper its printed on. It also has no value as "precedent behavior" either.....unless you happen to get a judge that doesn't follow the law in making his/her rulings.

And yes, before you snipe at me, I AM familiar with the gpv statutes in VA.

Except the settlement in question by the OP is between the parents, not the GP.

I'm not sniping at anyone. All I did was offer an opinion and had people basically saying I was stupid and told me to quit posting. Who's doing the sniping?

I actually posted earlier with a clearer explanation of what I was trying to say but it either never showed up or was removed. Although I don't know why because I was merely trying to clarify what I meant, and I did it nicely.

At no time did I say the settlement was "legally" enforceable. I just indicated how the Judge would probably react. This is family court after all, not the best forum for following the law as it's written.

So here is a scenario for you. The two have a lovely little "settlement" between themselves which had pop picking up the child every other weekend for some quality time. A year down the road mom gets angry for some reason and decides dad can't see the little one anymore. So off to court dad goes and tells his story to the Judge, including all the nice visits he's had with his child with her OK. Do you honestly think the Judge is not going to consider this precedent? Do you honestly think the Judge isn't going to overrule moms objections for whatever reason she has dreamed up since for the past year she has had no problems?

I disagree and think the Judge likely would grant dad his visits right back again.

None the less, this is a GPV forum and that's parent custody. Two completely different animals all together and by law, dad is entitled to the visitation as long as he is fit so settlement or no, he's going to get visitation.