Grandparents Interference - Kentucky (long)

[familyoffive181]

Hi, I am new on here so please bear with me if this post seems kinda long! I am married to a man who has two children with an ex from Kentucky. We began fighting her for Custody/Visitation about 5 years ago and FINALLY got the kids in November of 2007. We were involved in a Circuit Court Action against her for more visitation time (my husband and I live in Texas, BM lives in Ky.) when my husband was called by a Social Worker in Kentucky and told to be in court on September 11, 2007 to get his kids!!

When he asked her what this court date was in regards to he was told that the kids were being removed due to "gross negligence" and abuse. We officially got the kids on November 6, 2007 and have had them ever since. The State of Kentucky also took her 11 month old child by a different father who is "unknown by the mother". That child is currently in a Concurrent Foster Home in Kentucky and is in the process of being adopted. The mother of all of these kids' Parental Rights were terminated on December 18, 2007 and she has a NCO (No Contact Order) by the Judge for all three.

My question is this: she lived in her parent's home after she was evicted in the middle of this whole ordeal. They were determined to be unfit and not mentally sound individuals to be around the children and their home was deemed filthy and not appropriate for them to be living in. These people have also been the source for a lot of the Psychological effects on the two children that we have here. They have been in counseling since we first got them and have revealed a lot of disturbing information as well. These "grandparents" now call our home frequently demanding their "rights" be respected with regards to speaking to their grandchildren. My husband was given Sole Legal and Physical Custody of his girls and was told that ANY visitation or communication between his children and their Maternal family was completely up to his discretion.

I email them pics of the kids all the time because I do realize that they are in fact the children's grandparents but I do not feel that they should be allowed to speak to the girls over the phone at this time. The children's Psychologist/Therapist has recommended that the grandparents have no contact with the children based upon information that has been collected from the children. These people have been deemed Mentally unsound by the State as well as Psychiatrists there in Kentucky during this whole period of time. Should we allow them to ever speak to these kids again? Are the emails of pictures enough? What are their rights in Kentucky?

These people told these kids on December 17, 2007 that "they were not going to have a Christmas in Texas with their Daddy and myself and our daughter, their sister". The kids were telling their MGP's all about how they were going to decorate the tree and so on and so forth and that was the response they got from the Grandparents. I would greatly appreciate any and all advice given because we do not want to go outside of what is best. BTW...the kids have stated ever since they got here that they do not want to ever see these people again and do not want to go back to Kentucky again. There are allegations against the MGF of Sexual Abuse with the youngest child but the counselors are still working on talking about it with her. This has been a total nightmare for these kids and us alike but we just want to make sure that no one else can ever hurt them again! Thanks in advance...

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If there is no court order stating that the maternal grandparents have rights, then it appears that the father can control when/if they speak to the grandchildren. If the professionals are adverse to this communications, then you probably should defer to their opinions. That isn't to say that further down the road when the children get better that it won't happen.

 

[nextwife]

I sure hope dad has these kids in therapy and is consulting with the therapist about the GP contacts.

 

[anastashia]

Ginny is correct and Texas has grandparents rights but unless they feel they have a chance(which I doubt) make them take you court to see those kids or talk to them. You dont have to. I understand family is sometimes all people have but grandparents can soemtimes hurt the kids too.
Its big enough of you to send pics with the childs accusations like that.

 

[familyoffive181]

Thanks!

Thanks to all who replied! To answer the question about the kids going to therapy - yes they are in counseling/therapy and have been since Mid-November! They are doing a million times better since they came here to live with us. They were in such bad shape when they came to us - each was 10lbs underweight, neither knew what the term "I love you" meant, neither one felt they could trust people at all and so on. They are now a part of a family unit at our home and feel so much better about themselves! They have a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) that was appointed by the presiding Judge in the case that we keep in touch with weekly and will continue to keep in contact with until the girls reach the ages of 18. She has been a God send to us and these girls. She went to court and vouched for THEM, not any parents or stepparents which is who it is all about anyway. I highly recommend a CASA to anyone involved in a custody or family court battle where the kids are in danger. They are limited in each state but they are the ONLY ones who seem to really have the kids in mind when evaluating homes and such.

I cannot stand the MGP's at all but I will give them the common courtesy and respect and continue to send them pics so that they can see that their granddaughters are being well cared for and taken care of. I have been told by so many that I am a way bigger person than a lot of people because it is not required of me to do so. I pride myself on that aspect and also on the aspect of how I took on two little girls who were so damaged and still are to a degree as if they were my own. They have a lot of deep seeded issues but they are not so big that these girls cannot overcome them with the help of myself and their daddy and my family! The MGF threatens us on the phone answering machine all the time that he is going to see us in court over this and so on and so forth. I just want to make sure that he cannot do ANYTHING to hurt my girls! These kids began calling me "momma" THE DAY we got them and asked me if they could be my daughters? That broke my heart but at the same time it made me feel so good that at least they feel close enough to me to want to do that and that they are gaining some kind of trust in someone.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks to all who replied! To answer the question about the kids going to therapy - yes they are in counseling/therapy and have been since Mid-November! They are doing a million times better since they came here to live with us. They were in such bad shape when they came to us - each was 10lbs underweight, neither knew what the term "I love you" meant, neither one felt they could trust people at all and so on. They are now a part of a family unit at our home and feel so much better about themselves! They have a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) that was appointed by the presiding Judge in the case that we keep in touch with weekly and will continue to keep in contact with until the girls reach the ages of 18. She has been a God send to us and these girls. She went to court and vouched for THEM, not any parents or stepparents which is who it is all about anyway. I highly recommend a CASA to anyone involved in a custody or family court battle where the kids are in danger. They are limited in each state but they are the ONLY ones who seem to really have the kids in mind when evaluating homes and such.

I cannot stand the MGP's at all but I will give them the common courtesy and respect and continue to send them pics so that they can see that their granddaughters are being well cared for and taken care of. I have been told by so many that I am a way bigger person than a lot of people because it is not required of me to do so. I pride myself on that aspect and also on the aspect of how I took on two little girls who were so damaged and still are to a degree as if they were my own. They have a lot of deep seeded issues but they are not so big that these girls cannot overcome them with the help of myself and their daddy and my family! The MGF threatens us on the phone answering machine all the time that he is going to see us in court over this and so on and so forth. I just want to make sure that he cannot do ANYTHING to hurt my girls! These kids began calling me "momma" THE DAY we got them and asked me if they could be my daughters? That broke my heart but at the same time it made me feel so good that at least they feel close enough to me to want to do that and that they are gaining some kind of trust in someone.

I would not worry much about the grandparent's threats. The judge specifically gave your husband the right to determine whether or not the children have any contact with the grandparents. The professionals are saying no and your husband should be following that advice.

I am not even sure that its wise that you are sending pictures. Its certainly nice of you to do so, but perhaps you should limit it to a couple of times a year.

Yes, the grandparents would have standing to sue for visitation rights (since their daughter's rights were terminated) however with the evidence and background from their daughter's case, their odds of winning a gpv suit would be extremely slim.

Are you planning on adopting the children?