Grounds for Change in Custody

[stepmom&mom]

What is the name of your state?Oklahoma

I've read many posts and replies in here in regards to what qualifies for a change in custody. My husband is seeking joint custody after a long battle with an ex. These are the facts:

1. CP and NCP were never married.
2. NCP signed affidavit establishing paternity and birth certificate in the hospital.
3. Child support was set in November of 2003.
4. A visitation order was established in October of 2004 to reestablish relationship on a graduated schedule starting with supervised visitation.
5. After 8 weeks, visits were to begin to be unsupervised.
6. It has been 13 weeks since order was established and CP is stating that visits will continue to be supervised.
7. CP refuses to give us medical information about daughter in regards to who her primary care physician is and about her diagnosis of ADD.
8. NCP has only been allowed telephone contact 3 times since order established.
9. NCP has not received any holiday visits, as per the order, since it was established.
10. When NCP arrived for most recent visit at CP's home, daughter was in tears under table wanting her dad to leave.
11. We live less than 2 miles from the CP, in the same school district, and less than a mile from CP's mother, who keeps daughter much of the time.
12. CP has informed NCP that daughter is "scared" of her father now, even though daughter has been requesting to come to our house since day one.
13. Daughter has not been permitted to view pictures or meet her half-brother, stepbrother or myself.
14. CP has denied four visits since order established.

We would like to request joint custody. We live in close proximity to the CP and believe that it is in the best interest of my husband's daughter that she have an equal relationship with both parents. Do we have grounds to request such?

 

[stepmom&mom]

I also forgot to mention that the CP filed a VPO in September of 2003 (denied) to keep NCP away from daughter and has threatened to do so again.

 

[stepmom&mom]

I know you guys are dying to give me some feedback on this.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Tell daddy to file an immediate show cause for contempt of a court order.

 

[stepmom&mom]

Yes, we are meeting with the lawyer tomorrow and we intend to file contempt. I wondered if this is a good opportunity/grounds to request joint custody when we file contempt.

 

[casa]

Yes, we are meeting with the lawyer tomorrow and we intend to file contempt. I wondered if this is a good opportunity/grounds to request joint custody when we file contempt.

If the father had visitation all along, I'd say Yes- but since he's just finished the getting to know you process, I'd say focus on finding her in contempt. Be consistent on visitations which will enable the child to go to your home and meet you and her sibling and get used to the house etc. If/when Mom keeps up her shenanigans- then you'll have time in the home with everyone knowing each other under your belt, and file custody based on the father being more apt to provide access than the mother etc.

Good Luck to you guys

 

[stepmom&mom]

Gracias for the replies. Unfortunately, the CP was responsible for keeping daughter from seeing NCP for a year and so now it seems as if he's the one being punished. I hope that in the long run the courts will see what this CP is all about.....revenge of the ex!

 

[LdiJ]

Gracias for the replies. Unfortunately, the CP was responsible for keeping daughter from seeing NCP for a year and so now it seems as if he's the one being punished. I hope that in the long run the courts will see what this CP is all about.....revenge of the ex!

Although that was the fault of the CP, the fact remains that the child needs to be gradually introduced to the whole situation for the CHILD'S sake. If the child was actually hiding under the table wanting dad to leave...then there is no way that the child could currently handle joint custody.

I agree with the other poster...he needs to get the current order enforced, and establish a history of solid time spent with the child, in your home, and a solid relationship established. He will be in a much better position to fight for joint custody, even if its not a fully 50/50 timeshare after that is accomplished.

 

[stepmom&mom]

Actually, the child wasn't hiding under the table because she was scared of dad (he found out later that she was just mad because she wanted to watch a movie.) That was just the CP's excuse because she didn't want the daughter to leave her home. I guess I forgot to mention that they lived together for the first two years of her life, and then the CP forbid the NCP to see her for almost a year, until we filed for visitation. He's been back in her life every since. The daughter has wanted to come to our home since day one, it's just the CP that doesn't want her to. We talked to our lawyer yesterday and he says we have a very good chance at joint custody, which we are filing and he is requesting that she pay all of our legal fees and if she tries to stall he is requesting an emergency order. He says she had ample opportunity to get the daughter ready to come over (almost 4 months.)

 

[LdiJ]

Actually, the child wasn't hiding under the table because she was scared of dad (he found out later that she was just mad because she wanted to watch a movie.) That was just the CP's excuse because she didn't want the daughter to leave her home. I guess I forgot to mention that they lived together for the first two years of her life, and then the CP forbid the NCP to see her for almost a year, until we filed for visitation. He's been back in her life every since. The daughter has wanted to come to our home since day one, it's just the CP that doesn't want her to. We talked to our lawyer yesterday and he says we have a very good chance at joint custody, which we are filing and he is requesting that she pay all of our legal fees and if she tries to stall he is requesting an emergency order. He says she had ample opportunity to get the daughter ready to come over (almost 4 months.)

Just make sure that whatever you do is about the child...and not about anything else. I recalled enough of your previous threads to go back and check, and I honestly think that you could be more obsessed with your husband's "rights" than you are about what is best for this child. You have way to many issues that "concern" you that really don't have anything to do with the child and the child's ajustment to everything.

Obviously mom is no saint..far from it...however this is still a three (?) year old who is just getting to know daddy again. I personally told you before, and I will tell you again, that you are pushing too hard, too fast. There is also a reasonable chance that YOUR involvement in this whole thing is actually slowing things down for your husband....also, based on your previous posts mom still does have some "wiggle room".

Let your husband handle this.

 

[blendedfamily]

Steomom...we are dealing with similair situations...bio refusing to send kids over.....our attorney is filing instead of a contempt which the judge has failed to do anything other than slap her hand with...we are filing what they called a "Motion to Enforce Visitation Rights" it's not asking for her to be punished but it's to make sure the judge knows she is still dening visits....I have a hard time believing that anything will get done other than another slap on her hand but at least we will see the kids again...good luck...by the way we are also in Oklahoma what county are you in?

 

[stepmom&mom]

LdiJ~

I know that you have already prejudged me to be a psycho stepmom, but I truly am interested in what's best for the child. I believe that it is best for children to have both of their parents involved in their lives. I guess you could say that I'm frustrated because my oldest son's dad wants nothing to do with him and pays zero child support and I would have given anything for him to be as interested in his child as my husband is in his daughter. I just don't think the CP realizes how lucky she is. My husband's daughter is almost five years old. I believe that she loves wants to spend time with her dad, but unfortunately as far as that goes, it seems that without my husband having any "rights" (which I AM concerned about) then her needs will not be met. You can be the judge, but the CP has filed VPO's against my husband, has called my work trying to get me fired, and has threatened over the phone and in person to never let my husband see his daughter again. How can this possibly be in the best interest of the child? My only involvement has been a supportive role and that of asking questions. I don't see how that can be hindering the process. The CP and I do not speak.


P.S. Blendedfamily, I am in Oklahoma County.

 

[LdiJ]

LdiJ~

I know that you have already prejudged me to be a psycho stepmom, but I truly am interested in what's best for the child. I believe that it is best for children to have both of their parents involved in their lives. I guess you could say that I'm frustrated because my oldest son's dad wants nothing to do with him and pays zero child support and I would have given anything for him to be as interested in his child as my husband is in his daughter. I just don't think the CP realizes how lucky she is. My husband's daughter is almost five years old. I believe that she loves wants to spend time with her dad, but unfortunately as far as that goes, it seems that without my husband having any "rights" (which I AM concerned about) then her needs will not be met. You can be the judge, but the CP has filed VPO's against my husband, has called my work trying to get me fired, and has threatened over the phone and in person to never let my husband see his daughter again. How can this possibly be in the best interest of the child? My only involvement has been a supportive role and that of asking questions. I don't see how that can be hindering the process. The CP and I do not speak.


P.S. Blendedfamily, I am in Oklahoma County.

I don't think that you are a "psycho stepmom". However I do think that you are pushing too hard, too fast, on too many different fronts.

I think you should take things one step at a time. Getting the current orders enforced should be your only focus at this point.

 

[stepmom&mom]

My husband would have been willing to do that, but our lawyer seems to think with what we have, we will have no problem getting joint custody. I guess we shall see. We've actually already decided that if, with this request, the judge orders standard visitation, we will be happy with that.