Guardianship/custody over child born out-of-wedlock

[dkahlona]

What is the name of your state? NY

My daughter was born out of wedlock. The father does not live with us. Who has legal guardianship/custody over our daugher? Does he or I? In other words, could he ever take my daughter from me without permission or vindictivenes and never give her back to me? Could he take her back to his country (Jamaica, WI) and never give her back because he has guardianship, as well? I never thought that I had to go to court to get legal guardianship after she was born. Is this something that I must do considering that he is angry with me for ending our relationship? I have such anxiety over him doing something vindictive, liking keeping her.

 

[Starry809]

you have legal guardianship (always a "given" who the mother is, father can be questionable.)

get a court order of custody, visitation and child support asap.
youll probably end up doing the full "establishing paternity" thing.

What is the name of your state? NY

My daughter was born out of wedlock. The father does not live with us. Who has legal guardianship/custody over our daugher? Does he or I? In other words, could he ever take my daughter from me without permission or vindictivenes and never give her back to me? Could he take her back to his country (Jamaica, WI) and never give her back because he has guardianship, as well? I never thought that I had to go to court to get legal guardianship after she was born. Is this something that I must do considering that he is angry with me for ending our relationship? I have such anxiety over him doing something vindictive, liking keeping her.

 

[dkahlona]

custody

Thank you. This isn't something for which I will need an attorney?

 

[nextwife]

you have legal guardianship (always a "given" who the mother is, father can be questionable.)

get a court order of custody, visitation and child support asap.
youll probably end up doing the full "establishing paternity" thing.

IN many states, if paternity has been LEGALLY established, BOTH parents have equal rights. It is NOT a given that all out-of-wedlock moms have automatic custody.

 

[Starry809]

you are right... I mistakenly made the assumption, when she said he he didnt live with them, that paternity had not been legally established.

assuming legal paternity has not been established...
having to get a lawyer::
depends on alot of things.... how good you are at legal issues, forms, filing, and court proceedings, how open the dad is about cooperating and having you, him and the baby benefit, how well you two "get along" (or CAN get along if you have to)
filling out and filing papers isnt hard. most papers are available for download off your state court site (custody, support, etc).

if it involves establishing paternity, then a guardian ad litem may be appointed ($$).

attorneys are ALWAYS best, but admittedly not always financially available. legal aid in your state may be able to help you.
Also, alot of lawyers have no fee for the initial consultation. You can go talk without obliging yourself to anything.
hint: If you and dad can get along enough to do this, it will benefit you ALL in the long run. Hes gonna be in your life for at least the next 18 years. if you fight, besides costing you both ALOT of money, itll eventually trickle down to the child. try talking to him before anything. never know, maybe he will work with you to establish support, visitation and custody without even having to go through a big mess. itll be cheaper, easier and faster and definately more benefiicial to you all.

my apologies to nextwife

Thank you. This isn't something for which I will need an attorney?

IN many states, if paternity has been LEGALLY established, BOTH parents have equal rights. It is NOT a given that all out-of-wedlock moms have automatic custody.

 

[LdiJ]

IN many states, if paternity has been LEGALLY established, BOTH parents have equal rights. It is NOT a given that all out-of-wedlock moms have automatic custody.

Actually it IS a given that out of wedlock mom's automatically have custody. What isn't a given is whether or not an out of wedlock dad ALSO has custody.

In other words...in a marriage both parents automatically have custody until a judge says otherwise...sometimes its the same even if its out of wedlock. In other cases its only mom that has automatic custody. It all depends on state law and whether or not paternity has been legally established.

However....if the dad is from another country, and is threatening to abscond with the child because he is angry...then its probably best not to allow dad to be alone with the child until there are court orders.