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Had it up to here, with mother's threats for child support

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J

Jeffara

Guest
My boyfriend has three children. We live in North Carolina and so do the children. The childrens ages are 6, 9 and 10. He has always supported his kids. He sends weekly money orders from 60-75 dollars. He has medical insurance on all three of them. He often buys shoes, toys, school supplies etc., whatever they need. His ex moved over 100 miles away, because she said she could get a better job. Now she claims she is not making any money because the cost of living is so high. She says she wants him to pay $60 per child per week. They have never been to court to set up child support. She took him through social services this year to prove he had medical insurance on them (after she applied for medicaid) Every week, she calls threatening to sue him for more child support, because "the kids can't get what they want" This has been going on for years. We work at the same place and have been laid off for 2 weeks. She is still hounding him. He is fed up so he called social services hisself and said he wanted to set up child support, they were shocked, it is rare a father calls in. Is he doing the right thing? Can he ask for custody of the children?
 


L

lawrat

Guest
I think he needs to get a family law attorney to work with this. http://www.attorneypages.com. If he wants custody, he shouldn't be setting up the child support payments.


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I am a law school graduate. What I offer is mere information, not to be construed as forming an attorney client relationship.
 
K

kittie

Guest
Funny that you did not mention custody until you feared that support would be raised. Not wanting to loose money is a pretty pathetic reason to seek custody. I am going to assume that you have no children, otherwise you would realize that $60 a week probably does not even put a dent in bio moms food bill for the week. By the way, this is not your battle. Maybe your best bet would be to but out.
 
J

Jeffara

Guest
First of all, Kittie I do have children. I am a single mother, I work two jobs and I take care of my own without anyone's help. Secondly the issue is not money, he buys the children whatever they want, whenever they want and he sends support payments now, but she demands more. Furthermore, he has always wanted custody of the children, because of a number of serious situations that has arisen over the years as a result of neglect, in two cases resulting in hospitalization, that we know of. I kept my question and the situation brief, therefore you do not have all the facts to make such a drastic call on my personality. You say it is not my battle, you are wrong. Thats the problem with society today, the welfare of children whoever they maybe is not "their problem". I sincerely hope you are a law student and not a lawyer, if you are a lawyer you need a little work on the human side of things, I respect you for your honest opinion, nevertheless there is a better way to get your point across without such harshness. I value an opinion of this nature, but next time, until you have all the facts "judge not, and ye shall not be judged"
 

Ambr

Senior Member
i hope that he is keeping documentation for all the money that he has sent and for all the supplies that he has purchased. if he isn't, he really needs to start.

you don't mention some of the basics. i assume that paternity was established and he is on the BC? she could try and go after back support - that is why i hoped that he kept really good records.

he did the right thing by attempting to establish a support order with a set amount. it definitely takes away her threats.

on the realistic side, you don't mention income amounts or anything of this nature. but you might try and use a on line support calculator to figure his support payment for your state. http://www.alllaw.com - check the lower left hand corner and click the link. you might find that $240 a month for three kids is a low amount. i am figuring if the income is around 24k a year, it would be around 400 or 500 a month. (just a guess)
 
J

Jeffara

Guest
Reply to Amber

You are right $240 is not much for three children, but she wants $60 per child per week, thats $720 a month. Paternity has already been established, he has never denied his kids, he loves them very much and so do I, but this wall their mother is putting up has them caught in the middle. His income is around 25k, she makes a little more, about 29k. Right now he is paying $400 per week and in between when she calls and needs extra. He also carries the children on his medical insurance at work, which is $160 a month. I assume stay out of this business, but whatever affects him affects me emotionally as well. I tried to explain it to him,that most courts will not take custody from the mother, unless there is very damaging evidence. I'm just afraid that when that evidence comes available it may be too late, in the mean time he will keep paying his weekly amount until Social Services sets a court date, but for now, he cannot even see his kids until her demands are met, thats not child support, thats ramson. This is not justice, he wouldn't care if the judge order 1200 a month for support, he would give his last dime to them, but all the money in the world is not going to change their living situation, but as a man his hands are tied for now, unless you or someone else has any more suggestions.
 

Ambr

Senior Member
about when she calls and needs extras....

my husbands ex does the same thing to us. he sends her support and always gives her whatever extra that she asks for. the thing that he does though is sends it through the courts.

we have CSE and they handle her case. he sends the money to the court house, the add it to his register and then send it to her. that way, he has documentation that he is supplying her with extra. and the plus side is that it shows him ahead on his support by almost 6 months because it keeps adding up. she gets the money that she needs and it keeps him in the clear.

have you run one of those on line support calculators. there is one on http://www.alllaw.com in the bottom left hand corner. click the one for support and then click your state. enter the monthly income, along with expenses - other support orders, medical insurance, daycare expenses, etc. for both parents. it will give you an idea of what the amounts would be.
 

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