had no idea where to post this

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

What is the name of your state? ca/fl

my roomate, as i've posted alot and so has he, pays a specific amount for ss/cs through the navy. theres nothing in a court order as of now. but lately he's been questioning paternity( i think its out of anger, or hurt mostly)and since the navy did an audit for bah(housing allowance) he used this to ask her for a copy of his sons BC saying he had to show that the persons listed on his dependent list were truely who he said they were. she said she'd send it friday when she returned to her office, however she has not sent it. his son was born before they married, and we believe she was on medicaid, and when they baby was born, he didnt sign an AOP or BC, and he's curious if maybe the hospital typed it in. as i said it may be out of anger or hurt, but now shes not doing it. is there anyway he could request it? we tried online, however it says he'd have to be a guardian, or parent, and obviously if he didnt sign the BC they are going to say he is not a parent. he'd rather have the BC rather than go through the embaressment of a DNA test where he may get results he doesnt want....is there any other way to get the bc?

 

[moburkes]

What is the name of your state? ca/fl

my roomate, as i've posted alot and so has he, pays a specific amount for ss/cs through the navy. theres nothing in a court order as of now. but lately he's been questioning paternity( i think its out of anger, or hurt mostly)and since the navy did an audit for bah(housing allowance) he used this to ask her for a copy of his sons BC saying he had to show that the persons listed on his dependent list were truely who he said they were. she said she'd send it friday when she returned to her office, however she has not sent it. his son was born before they married, and we believe she was on medicaid, and when they baby was born, he didnt sign an AOP or BC, and he's curious if maybe the hospital typed it in. as i said it may be out of anger or hurt, but now shes not doing it. is there anyway he could request it? we tried online, however it says he'd have to be a guardian, or parent, and obviously if he didnt sign the BC they are going to say he is not a parent. he'd rather have the BC rather than go through the embaressment of a DNA test where he may get results he doesnt want....is there any other way to get the bc?

In my state (OH) you are not listed on the BC unless you sign the paper work first. It may be similar in yours. If the woman won't provide the BC, there's probably a reason for it. Now, having said that. What is embarrassing about getting a DNA test? What would be embarrassing is to think that you are not the father of your child or that your father really isn't your father.

 

[NotSoNew]

have him do a private paternity test (if he sees the child) you can order them offline

try to order the BC through www.vitalcheck.com not sure what docs you need to provide but they are very good.

is there a court order for CS? if so then legally he has already been determined to be the father.

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? ca/fl

my roomate, as i've posted alot and so has he, pays a specific amount for ss/cs through the navy. theres nothing in a court order as of now. but lately he's been questioning paternity( i think its out of anger, or hurt mostly)and since the navy did an audit for bah(housing allowance) he used this to ask her for a copy of his sons BC saying he had to show that the persons listed on his dependent list were truely who he said they were. she said she'd send it friday when she returned to her office, however she has not sent it. his son was born before they married, and we believe she was on medicaid, and when they baby was born, he didnt sign an AOP or BC, and he's curious if maybe the hospital typed it in. as i said it may be out of anger or hurt, but now shes not doing it. is there anyway he could request it? we tried online, however it says he'd have to be a guardian, or parent, and obviously if he didnt sign the BC they are going to say he is not a parent. he'd rather have the BC rather than go through the embaressment of a DNA test where he may get results he doesnt want....is there any other way to get the bc?

Have they EVER been married?

If his name isn't on the BC, there isn't really anything he could do without involving the court. Even if mom were not contesting paternity, he really needs to have a DNA test done. I don't know why he would be embarrassed by this. If anyone should be embarrassed is MOM. She's the one that was having sex with multiple people when she got pregnant.

Would he rather get a result he doesn't want to hear NOW, or after he's paid 18 years of child support?

If there is NO child support order, he needs to stop sending mom money and see if she still wants to contest paternity.

 

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

rephrase embarassment quote

when i reread it, instead of embarassing i should have said unexpected...in other words, hes not the father when he thought he was...and he cant stop sending money...yeah right he wishes he could but his naval command made him sign a paper stating he'd send it, or they'd nail him under the ucmj for non-support of dependents

 

[abstract99]

when i reread it, instead of embarassing i should have said unexpected...in other words, hes not the father when he thought he was...and he cant stop sending money...yeah right he wishes he could but his naval command made him sign a paper stating he'd send it, or they'd nail him under the ucmj for non-support of dependents

But if he is no longer the dad then the child is no longer his dependent. I had to sign the same thing while I was in to allow them to take it right out of your check.

 

[moburkes]

when i reread it, instead of embarassing i should have said unexpected...in other words, hes not the father when he thought he was...and he cant stop sending money...yeah right he wishes he could but his naval command made him sign a paper stating he'd send it, or they'd nail him under the ucmj for non-support of dependents

I'm sorry, but now this is more confusing than it was in the first place. Dad, or maybe-dad, needs to get a paternity test. Then, once he's done that, come back, and ask how to move forward.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I'm sorry, but now this is more confusing than it was in the first place. Dad, or maybe-dad, needs to get a paternity test. Then, once he's done that, come back, and ask how to move forward.

This is related to other threads with much more information.

 

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

yea sorry

they didnt make him do an allotment, b/c she said if he did, she couldnt pay daycare on time, so we do the cashiers checks w/photocopies. ok well we know how to move forward AFTER we find out the child is his...oh well, but its cool...hes too in love with the child to do it, and i guess i dont blame him...hes known this child to be his. we talked about this last night, and he says he'd rather pay for him no matter what, and have that relationship with im, rather than find out it isnt his, and have an entirely different outlook on having more children down the road.

and before ANYONE has something smart to say, he was giving this woman and his ex money LONG BEFORE the child was born(he has 2 kids, 2 moms)...hell, he added 1 to his bank acct, and after their divorce she wouldnt sign the paper to take her name off, and he just never closed it, so that in the case of a genuine emergency she can call the bank and have them wire her money(she doesnt have chex or cards, and she doesnt have money in it)the current wife, he's given her nearly 20g in 18 mos, which most can agree that for 1 child in fla, thats ALOT more than he'd normally pay, as he only pays 330 ANNUALLY for his daughter

 

[moburkes]

This is related to other threads with much more information.

Sure, I understand, and thanks for the head's up. Now, don't you think this makes even LESS sense, now that OP added the message after yours?

OP: If she knows the routing number, and bank account number, she can do a check by phone payment and over draft the account. If hse doesn't know them, she can easily get them (and order checks, and order a debit card) since her name is on the account. There are WAY too many ways to quickly send money nowadays to have to rely on this method. And how much money does he make anyway, to send her that kinda money?

He can be MY ex, too!

 

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

if u know how to find a mlitary pay table

hes an e4 w/7 1/2 years, and his bah is 1275, so he makes around 3330 before taxes...he sends the current wife $800, untill support is set up, and he pays his ex $264 through the state, however, he sends about $50 monthly to an acct in their hometown, and he sends his daughter things all month...so just in cash the daughter gets about $315 or so...

no his account is on a "no-check" status(he did that when she wouldnt sign), and since she is only a secondary, she cannot do anything to the account...its more like she would have privledges w/usage, versus access to change things...and its navy federal, theres notes all over his account that say only he can order or change services...

the only reason he can afford to pay that kind of money right now, is b/c he splits the household bills w/me and our other roomate...so on his own, he only has about $600 in persoanl bills...however he gets out in december and the current wife thinks shes going to continue getting $800, even though she knows a normal court cannot use his bah as income, as that will go away when they divorce...luckily, his bah will go away before the custody hearing, b/c their divorce will be over, and the navy will cancel his bah and give him the lower single rate....
now, look lol i had to ramble i'm sure someone will be along shortly to let me know