Had our day in court

[MomIsWorried]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

I went to court with my 15 year old daughter today (she was charged with assault after a verbal altercation turned physical between her and my step daughter, 16 years old). My daughter decided to deny the charge against her (I don't know if all states work this way, but in Ohio a minor cannot plead guilty or not guilty, it is "admit" or "deny"). A pre-trial is scheduled for later this month. It is my understanding that during the pre-trial, we will get the chance to speak with the prosecutor, who will either offer a deal of a lesser charge, or say he has enough to take it to trial. My daughter has also chosen not to have an attorney, although I am considering hiring one, if we can find someone who won't rake us over the coals financially.

What can we expect at pre-trial? I know that my daughter can go in and talk to the prosecutor...give him her side of the story and what not...but can we present any evidence to him at that time? There are several eye-witnesses to the fact that on 3 previous occasions, my step-daughter physically attacked my daughter; I can get copies of my step-daughters school records, which show that she is confrontational and has a history of being verbally abusive to her bus driver, and that she hit a student on the bus because he was sitting in her seat.

My daughter has admitted, and did write in her statement, that she pushed my step-daughter. My daughter was trying to walk away from my step-daughter, step-daughter wanted the last word and stepped on the back of daughter's shoe so she couldn't walk...my daughter then turned her upper body towards step-daughter and pushed against her and told her to "back off". It was at that point that step-daughter grabbed my daughter and slammed her up against the side of the house. The other punches that were thrown by my daughter were in self-defense, as she was trying to get step-daughter off of her.

I'm just stuck here...I don't want this to go to trial and be drawn out for the next several months, but I also don't think my daughter is guilty of assault.

Next question: What is a lesser charge to assault? I've never been in trouble with the law, and I have no idea what else they could possibly charge her with, in the event the prosecutor is willing to reduce the charge...what could he reduce it to?

Thanks in advance.

 

[MomIsWorried]

This is a shameless bump. Can anyone give me some advice on this?
Thanks

 

[Kane]

She can say anything she wants to the prosecutor, assuming he's willing to talk to her. She should be careful, though. The prosecutor's job is to prosecute her, and many of the things she might say to him will be helpful to the state, not the defense. That your step-daughter is confrontational, or that her step-mother doesn't like her, are facts that are not likely to make much difference to him, and are not likely to be admissible at trial (if there is one).

Does your step-daugher have a different version of events?

Proceeding without a lawyer - especially if she intends to go to trial - is a mistake.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Were any charges brought against your stepdaughter?

 

[MomIsWorried]

Does your step-daugher have a different version of events?

My step-daughter always has a different version of the events ... however, 75% of what she wrote in her statement matches with what actually happened that night. According to my step-daughter, the whole incident was my fault, and my daughter's fault ... she accepts no responsibility for her actions at all ... and again, that's typical of her. She is one of those people who think the entire world is against her ... that everyone is out to get her ... and that the world owes her something because of it.

That your step-daughter is confrontational, or that her step-mother doesn't like her, are facts that are not likely to make much difference to him,

It's not that I don't like my step-daughter ~ I honestly do care about her, I've been in her life since she was 4 years old, and she did live in my home for a little over 4 years. I just don't understand her. I'm sure you've come across people like this before ... she's not happy unless she's unhappy. And that's a phrase her own father uses to describe her frequently. She thrives on drama, and tries to create as much as possible.

Were any charges brought against your stepdaughter?

Yes, she has also been charged with assault. There has been a transfer of the complaint, though. We live in a different county that step-daughters mom ... and since step-daughter moved back in with her mother after this incident, our county had to transfer step-daughters case to the county she now resides in.

Proceeding without a lawyer - especially if she intends to go to trial - is a mistake.

I agree with you ... which is why I'm going to talk to my ex husband and see if he can help me with attorney fees. I'm sure he will ... he thinks the whole thing is something that got blown out of proportion, and if step-daughter's mom hadn't been trying to get me arrested, the girls never would have been charged with anything.

Thanks again for your replies.

 

[MomIsWorried]

I have no idea what else they could possibly charge her with, in the event the prosecutor is willing to reduce the charge...what could he reduce it to?

Also...does anyone know about this?

Thanks!

 

[gawm]

how did this end up in the courts? siblings fight all the time, sometimes it gets out of hand but unless somebody gets hurt why is it the courts are handling it instead of the parents?

 

[MomIsWorried]

siblings fight all the time, sometimes it gets out of hand but unless somebody gets hurt why is it the courts are handling it instead of the parents?

Exactly! It ended up in court because during this altercation between my step-daughter and my daughter, I had to pull my step-daughter off my my daughter 3 different times. After the third time, my step daughter got in my face and was screaming cuss words at me (it was ugly). I lost my cool and slapped her across the face and told her to never speak to me that way again. When things finally calmed down, step-daughter called her mother and told her mother that I had slapped her ... her mother then called the police ~ she wanted them to charge me with assault (for slapping her daughter across the face) ... all of us had to write out statements, which were turned over to the prosecutor, who made the decision to charge both girls with assault. That's why I said, if my step daughters mom hadn't been trying to get me in trouble with the law, neither girl would have been charged with assault, and my husband and I could have handled the incident within our own 4 walls.

 

[gawm]

it seems to me they are being very overzealous of this. if your daughters are entitled to a public defender i suggest you try and persuade them to take advantage of that. if i were you i would at least consult with an attorney. good luck!

 

[MomIsWorried]

Thanks for your response. I agree that this never should have gone this far ... although I did tell my step-daughter at one point that night that if she didn't quit hitting my daughter, I was going to call the cops and file unruly child charges against her. Every time I separated the two of them, my daughter would try to get in the house, and my step daughter would go back after her.

Ours is a very long story ... this fight between my daughter and step-daughter has been brewing for years ... what it boils down to is that my step-daughter has always been terribly jealous of my daughter (both of my daughters, actually). Please don't think I am one of those mother's who thinks their child can do no wrong, because I'm not ... this is honestly how it has been for the past 12 years. My daughter is very petite and can go into any store and find something cute to fit her. My step daughter is very overweight, and very tall, so she has problems finding nice, "in style" clothes that fit her. My daughter got a job when she turned 14 and worked as many hours as she was legally able to ... so she could earn her own money and buy things that she wanted. She has a TV/VCR combo in her bedroom, as well as a DVD player, a very nice stereo, a cell phone, and many other nice things ... all bought and paid for with her own hard-earned money ... she even gave her bedroom a "face lift" (new paint, curtains, bedspread, sheets, matching pillows...etc) ...and she paid for everything herself. My step daughter, on the other hand, chose to spend her money foolishly, and therefore had nothing nice to show for it...and yet she complained constantly - to anyone who would listen - that my daughter was spoiled and got everything she wanted. Yes..she did get what she wanted...because she paid for it herself. For many years after my husband and I were married, his ex-wife wouldn't let him see his children ...it was a constant battle for visitation. My husband spent a lot of time with my daughters, and the children we have together ... and my step daughter hated that. Although I understand why she felt that way, it didn't make it any easier to deal with the fallout or her angry outbursts towards my children. At one point, my step daughter even demanded that the 2 children my husband and I have together stop calling him "daddy" ... because he was only supposed to be HER daddy...not anyone else's daddy.

Anyway ... I could go on for hours about my relationship with my step daughter. She lived with us for a little over 4 years before this incident (when she decided she wanted to go back to live with her mother) ... and I tried every day to earn her trust, to treat her like one of my own children, to treat her and the other children all equally, and to let her know that I loved her and wanted all of us to be a happy family. But nothing I did worked ... I am still the enemy today that I was 12 years ago when I first started dating her dad.

So, even though I agree that "they are being very overzealous of this" ... I do hope, at the very least, that my step-daughter gets some kind of help out of this whole nasty mess ... whether it be counseling, or anger management classes ... I think either, or both, would really help her. In fact, anger management classes would do my daughter some good, too. She's not the physical type ... she doesn't pick physical fights ... but she can argue with the best of them, and 9 times out of 10, she thinks she just HAS to get the last word.

Sorry this got so long-winded.