Half of Uninsured Medical Bills

[Ljnsy]

What is the name of your state? NH

I have been divorced from my ex-husband since August of 1998. The CO states that he is to pay half of the uninsured medical, prescription, and dental bills. Since I am the custodial parent, I am the one who takes our son to the doctor when necessary and there have been 4 trips to the ER in the last 7 years.

I have always informed my ex whenever I take him to the doctor or ER for something. I have NEVER asked him for his half of the bills. I'm sure people will ask why and my answer is, because I'm not that kind of person to nickle and dime other people. The co-pays for the Dr. are only $15 and the ER visits were $50 except for one of them which was $130.

My problem now is that my ex is taking my so n to a psychologist and sent me a letter demanding that I pay half of the co-pay. I informed him that (and he already knew) that I have NEVER asked him for his half of ANYTHING except for some dental work that was done a couple of years ago....which I actually paid my half directly to the Dentist.

I'm tempted to tell him to shove his Psychologist co-pay bills up his A$$!

What are my legal standings here?

OH, and in the CO, it simply states that he has to pay half. It does not give a time limit on when he should get the bills and/or pay them. My Attorney told me that I can give him 3 years worth of bills....is this correct?

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state? NH

I have been divorced from my ex-husband since August of 1998. The CO states that he is to pay half of the uninsured medical, prescription, and dental bills. Since I am the custodial parent, I am the one who takes our son to the doctor when necessary and there have been 4 trips to the ER in the last 7 years.

I have always informed my ex whenever I take him to the doctor or ER for something. I have NEVER asked him for his half of the bills. I'm sure people will ask why and my answer is, because I'm not that kind of person to nickle and dime other people. The co-pays for the Dr. are only $15 and the ER visits were $50 except for one of them which was $130.

My problem now is that my ex is taking my so n to a psychologist and sent me a letter demanding that I pay half of the co-pay. I informed him that (and he already knew) that I have NEVER asked him for his half of ANYTHING except for some dental work that was done a couple of years ago....which I actually paid my half directly to the Dentist.

I'm tempted to tell him to shove his Psychologist co-pay bills up his A$$!

What are my legal standings here?

OH, and in the CO, it simply states that he has to pay half. It does not give a time limit on when he should get the bills and/or pay them. My Attorney told me that I can give him 3 years worth of bills....is this correct?

Since I am the custodial parent, I am the one who takes our son to the doctor when necessary and there have been 4 trips to the ER in the last 7 years.


Let's start by you telling us why this abnormal number of times for a child going to an ER....

 

[Ljnsy]

Since I am the custodial parent, I am the one who takes our son to the doctor when necessary and there have been 4 trips to the ER in the last 7 years.


Let's start by you telling us why this abnormal number of times for a child going to an ER....

Why is that an abnormal number for 7 years?
1st trip = Hairline fracture in ankle on a weekend.
2nd trip = Extremely sick and dehydrated...vominting and blood in diarehah (I can never spell that right) on a weekend.
3rd trip = Complaints of extreme pain in his shin. On a weekend
4th trip = Broken thumb while playing baseball about a month ago..on a weekend.

 

[MrsK]

Since I am the custodial parent, I am the one who takes our son to the doctor when necessary and there have been 4 trips to the ER in the last 7 years.


Let's start by you telling us why this abnormal number of times for a child going to an ER....

I dont think thats an abnormal amt of time, either. You wanna hear abnormal- my husband's daughter has been at least 14 times and she's 2.5. FTR, yes, her mother neglects her medical care until its THAT urgent.

ANYWAY, OP...if you dont want him to pay 1/2, thats up to you but the order says you two are to split it and if he wants 1/2, then you need to pay up.

Also- you can try and give him the bills, but I'd bet a judge would want to know why you waited so long, and upon hearing your reason (that he suddenly asked you to pay 1/2) may dismiss them as a "too little, too late" sort of thing.

 

[Ljnsy]

But what about this question.

"OH, and in the CO, it simply states that he has to pay half. It does not give a time limit on when he should get the bills and/or pay them. My Attorney told me that I can give him 3 years worth of bills....is this correct?"

I would also like to add that the Judge that we are dealing with now seems to me to be an extremely reasonable one. I think the fact that I have essentially let my ex "off the hook" in paying these bills MAY rule in my favor.

I have sent some of the bills to my attorney to forward to his. She said that she would "ask" him to pay them.

 

[Ljnsy]

Another thing....

I don't really care about the money. That is NOT the issue here. If I did, I would have sent him the bills to begin with. It's just the principle of the whole thing that's ticking me off.

 

[haiku]

just my thoughts take for what you will.

Would YOU like to be slammed with 3 years worth of medical bills? Quite frankly, if you never informed him of the bills, how the hell is he supposed to know he has something to pay?

pretty much when you decide you are going to be nice, its not all that fair to suddenly decide to play dirty, no matter what your CO says. Though the wording of your order says you can. You are not going to win points with a judge, for waiting 3 years, when you never attempted anything in the past for payment.

My next question is, why if you are the CP is your ex taking the kid to a psychologist. Aren't you supposed to agree to treatments for your kid? don't you want him to have this treatment? Counseling can be VERY helpful for children of divorce, especially when there is animosity between parents. And there must be, if you are refusing to pay for part of your childs treatments, just because you gave dad a free pass in the past.

Co-pays for counseling can add up much quicker than an emergency room trip here and there and routine doctor visits. Most counseling sessions are weekly or bi-weekly, and that adds up.

you might end up looking very petty, at your kids expense, were this to go to court.

From NOW on, maybe you just better stick to your court orders.

 

[Ljnsy]

just my thoughts take for what you will.

Would YOU like to be slammed with 3 years worth of medical bills? Quite frankly, if you never informed him of the bills, how the hell is he supposed to know he has something to pay?

pretty much when you decide you are going to be nice, its not all that fair to suddenly decide to play dirty, no matter what your CO says. Though the wording of your order says you can. You are not going to win points with a judge, for waiting 3 years, when you never attempted anything in the past for payment.

My next question is, why if you are the CP is your ex taking the kid to a psychologist. Aren't you supposed to agree to treatments for your kid? don't you want him to have this treatment? Counseling can be VERY helpful for children of divorce, especially when there is animosity between parents. And there must be, if you are refusing to pay for part of your childs treatments, just because you gave dad a free pass in the past.

Co-pays for counseling can add up much quicker than an emergency room trip here and there and routine doctor visits. Most counseling sessions are weekly or bi-weekly, and that adds up.

you might end up looking very petty, at your kids expense, were this to go to court.

From NOW on, maybe you just better stick to your court orders.

My ex has known about EVERY doctor visit and ER visit because I inform him of them either before or after they occur. He knows there is a co-pay and he knows what is in the court order.

My ex is taking him to counceling, and YES I AM involved (and got to the sessions) in this because he has behavioral problems with our son at his girlfriend's home. I'm not going to re-post the whole story but I have posted in the past about that issue. This counseling is court ordered. I have no problems with the couseling...he does need it. He didn't before all of the court stuff started but he does now.
His counseling sessions are every 3 weeks with a $15 co-pay each time. The psychologist told me that she didn't think this would take too long.

One more thing, I'm not one to play dirty. I don't like rocking the boat and try to get along with everyone...but I have been harrassed and insulted, and messed with by my ex and his GF for about 3 and 1/2 years now and have had enough! THEY are the ones who are playing dirty to the point of lying in the court room about me. I have always tried to be extremely reasonable with EVERYTHING but when you're pushed and pushed and pushed for 3+ years CONSTANTLY...eventually, it's time to push back...and HARD.

Like I said...the money isn't the issue here.

 

[haiku]

My ex has known about EVERY doctor visit and ER visit because I inform him of them either before or after they occur. He knows there is a co-pay and he knows what is in the court order.

My ex is taking him to counceling, and YES I AM involved (and got to the sessions) in this because he has behavioral problems with our son at his girlfriend's home. I'm not going to re-post the whole story but I have posted in the past about that issue. This counseling is court ordered. I have no problems with the couseling...he does need it. He didn't before all of the court stuff started but he does now.
His counseling sessions are every 3 weeks with a $15 co-pay each time. The psychologist told me that she didn't think this would take too long.

One more thing, I'm not one to play dirty. I don't like rocking the boat and try to get along with everyone...but I have been harrassed and insulted, and messed with by my ex and his GF for about 3 and 1/2 years now and have had enough! THEY are the ones who are playing dirty to the point of lying in the court room about me. I have always tried to be extremely reasonable with EVERYTHING but when you're pushed and pushed and pushed for 3+ years CONSTANTLY...eventually, it's time to push back...and HARD.

Like I said...the money isn't the issue here.

And money is what the court is all about so I would suggest you let your anger go, and start sticking to the court order in the furture.

 

[Ljnsy]

Thanks.

And money is what the court is all about so I would suggest you let your anger go, and start sticking to the court order in the furture.

Oh, believe me. I fully intend to do just that. He will get a bill right away from now on.

If they leave me the hell alone and stop blaming ME for THEIR problems, I will let my anger go.

 

[MrsK]

"OH, and in the CO, it simply states that he has to pay half. It does not give a time limit on when he should get the bills and/or pay them. My Attorney told me that I can give him 3 years worth of bills....is this correct?"

I would also like to add that the Judge that we are dealing with now seems to me to be an extremely reasonable one. I think the fact that I have essentially let my ex "off the hook" in paying these bills MAY rule in my favor.

I have sent some of the bills to my attorney to forward to his. She said that she would "ask" him to pay them.

It MAY but 3 years is a LONG time when it comes to medical bills. Usually they do something like CP having 30-60 days to get it to the NCP who has like 30-60 days to pay it. So thats like 4 months TOPS, and so 3 years may seem really excessive and out of spite to even a reasonable judge. Just so you know...

 

[Silverplum]

If they leave me the hell alone and stop blaming ME for THEIR problems, I will let my anger go.

Whoa!

How about you direct your own actions, rather than allow yourself to be directed by folks you obviously dislike and disrespect? You are the only one in charge of yourself. Think about it.

 

[MrsK]

you might end up looking very petty, at your kids expense, were this to go to court.

From NOW on, maybe you just better stick to your court orders.

I do totally agree to this. OP, if he wants you to pay, pay up...then, have him pay HIS 1/2 of the medical bills. I'd personally let the last 3 yrs go.

 

[Obirek]

I understand where you are coming from. However when it comes to the bills you should have sent them all along....even if you didn't want the money in return. If your court order states you owe half then you do. You could pay the counselor your portion when you go to the session or pay your ex...make sure it's not cash! You need documentation. From here on out, you need to send your sons medical bills to him and do it monthly, weekly, whatever your agreeement says. If you have to mail them to him, make sure you have proof that it was sent/delivered....delivery confirmation, making him sign for it etc....

As far as the past bills, it will be hard explaining why you didn't hold your end of the deal. Unfortuently if you go to court over it he is going to claim he can't pay what he doesn't have. I realize for you it's not about the money, but he obviously does not feel the same and he has every right to ask you to pay your portion.

 

[Ljnsy]

Whoa!

How about you direct your own actions, rather than allow yourself to be directed by folks you obviously dislike and disrespect? You are the only one in charge of yourself. Think about it.

Actually, for the last year and a half or so, I have ignored their complaints, insults and lies. BUT, that doesn't mean that it doesn't affect me mentally.

I was taken to court because I didn't want our son to go to that particular counselor. My ex never said a word to me about the objection. He never talked to me about alternatives, he simply took me to court 6 months after I stopped the sessions.

My ex and I got along very well and I really really thought he was a good person. After he got together with this particular GF about 3 and 1/2 years ago that started to change. His priorities regarding our son have changed. His attitude toward me has changed, and he has become a backstabbing jerk to me. I have never done anything spiteful toward him. I have always been extremely flexible as far as visitation and anything else regarding my son are concerned and still am.

I would also like to add that we have NEVER exchanged negative words with each other in front of our son. That is up until the last counseling session with my son sitting between us, ex started screaming at me because I complained that he allowed son to watch the movie Doom. It got so bad (he was beet red and wouldn't stop yelling) that the counselor had my son go sit on the floor by her so he wouldn't be between us.