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Harassment in the workplace from ex-boyfriend

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bobspero

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY
I am a part-time lifeguard at a hotel where there is a lot of activity, meaning there are always kids playing the water, running around, etc... The area is large and geared towards young crowd, I would say the majority of the pool crowd is between 3 yrs to 12 yrs old.

During my employment, about a year ago I met a another lifeguard who shared the same shift and we began dating. We were exclusive for over 12 months. And just like most young relationships we grew apart when college started, found there was a bigger world and we both agreed to call it quits about three to five months ago

Currently he asked if I would be interested in getting back together and I told him no, ever since than at the workplace he has been rude and bullying, but really nothing to report to my supervisor, I was able to tolerate most it.

Yesterday it reached a point that I had to report it to my supervisor, we are not allowed to have our mobile devices on the deck while on the clock. So how when I left my phone in the back room he was able to access mt emails and he felt that my activities at school are something to be shared with. Seeing I joined the boosters and now exposed athletes he must have gotten jealous or something that lead him to yell at me on the deck that “you are nothing but whore”.

You cam imagine how embraced and upset I was, it really impacted me in away that made my workday counterproductive, especially when I am responsible for the well been of children as they are using the pool.

I came home and was very distressed so I called my supervisor and informed him of the incident. My ex-boyfriend is friendly with our supervisor so I want to be sure this is addressed properly, fairly and not hear it is not their problem because we use to. The incident happened while I was on the clock and at the workplace.

I do not want to see my ex-boyfriend loose his job, just change our schedules so we don't share the deck. Because the workplace is becoming an uncomfortable environment where I am be bullied, harassed and abusive.

Being that our supervisor is friendly with ex-boyfriend and probably does not deal with escalating and investigating claims of bullying, harassment and abusive behaviors.

Being this is my first time ever filing a complaint in any workplace, I would appreciate someone to educate me on how something like this would normally be investigated and what actions are suppose to take place? So I know it is not a matter of my ex-boyfriend being friendly with the supervisor that this does not get addressed with the same sense of urgency I expressed? We are not union but there should be NY labor lays that protects me from an abusive and harassing workplace where literally I do not need to yelled at that I am a whore in-front of a bunch of children and their parents.
 


eerelations

Senior Member
There are no laws against bullying and rude behaviour in the workplace. And I don't think what you've experienced rises to the level of sexual harassment (which is illegal). So unfortunately you don't have any legal recourse at this point.

(As an aside, I'm just curious about this, what do you mean by "now exposed athletes" - does this mean you have nude pictures of athletes on your phone? Not that it makes any difference to your situation, again I'm just curious.)
 

eerelations

Senior Member
You being a troll has nothing to do with whether or not you deleted a post, and everything to do with your fake stories and argumentativeness.
 

I'mTheFather

Senior Member
Why is Florida the state of residence for your other threads, but a post on a psych forum that is nearly identical to one of your previous ones lists your state as NY?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I think it is just a matter of jealousy, for example there was a party for all the new NYU boosters and all the players attended, I am no longer friends with him on Facebook and through a mutual friend he is seeing pictures of me in group shots with all these guys and think he can not handle it.

But back to my issue there should be no standards on behavior? Especially in an environment where the majority of the audience are children. So being there is no laws specifically to my situation I should not have reported it?

What is the purpose of the New York Workplace Bill?

Also I will be seeking legal recourse if this is mishandled, that is the reason for the post. How is my employer suppose to address, you are saying they can tell me too bad, because I will seek PTSD through workers comp if that is the case.
Are you somehow under the impression that you can pluck a diagnosis out of thin air and you'll get what you want?

Oooh I could introduce you to some sufferers who would make it very clear that you're full of it.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
For the benefit of future readers, I will address the question actually presented in the OP.

The responsibility of the employer is to make any illegal behavior stop. It is questionable whether this single instance amounts to illegal behavior; however, even if for the sake of argument we agree it does, how the employer investigates is up to the employer. You do not get to dictate what they do; you do not have a right to say what action they will take, what discipline they issue, or what shift anyone works. In fact, you do not even have a right under the law to KNOW what investigation they make, what actions they take or what discipline they offer. If any illegal harassment stops, they have done their job and you have NO legal recourse even if they never say word one to you.
 

Ladyback1

Senior Member
Also I will be seeking legal recourse if this is mishandled, that is the reason for the post. How is my employer suppose to address, you are saying they can tell me too bad, because I will seek PTSD through workers comp if that is the case.
And what pray tell is "mishandled"? Is mishandled equivalent to "they didn't handle the way I want"?

Hun? You are going to have a long, uphill battle proving PTSD. A person has to have some very specific symptoms before a medical professional will utter "PTSD". How about you study up on PTSD instead of making a mockery of it! True PTSD can be, and often is debilitating. What your little princess has described would most likely fall way under the bar for a PTSD diagnosis.

Princess needs to learn how to lock her phone.
 

eerelations

Senior Member
Cgb & Ladyback1, that is all I was looking for. What are her rights...
Keep in mind that it is extremely unlikely that your daughter's coworker's behaviour is illegal. Which means it's extremely unlikely that your daughter has a legal right to expect her employer to make the behaviour stop. I told you this 'way back in the beginning, and it still holds true. Period.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Keep in mind that it is extremely unlikely that your daughter's coworker's behaviour is illegal. Which means it's extremely unlikely that your daughter has a legal right to expect her employer to make the behaviour stop. I told you this 'way back in the beginning, and it still holds true. Period.
You do not think that calling someone a whore is sexual harassment?
 

bobspero

Junior Member
Keep in mind that it is extremely unlikely that your daughter's coworker's behaviour is illegal. Which means it's extremely unlikely that your daughter has a legal right to expect her employer to make the behaviour stop. I told you this 'way back in the beginning, and it still holds true. Period.

I have a hard time believing that because being called a "whore" and other bullying name calling is not a violation of the law that supervision would tolerate such behavior, yes no law has been broken I see that.

Not sure how a company stays profitable with high churn rates because who would want to continue to work in an environment like that and have to continue to train and certify lifeguards? If it is not dealt with I will gladly inform the parents of the children that visit the pool on a regular basis they should be aware of the language tolerated by the entity as the majority of the pool participants would get a far as a "G" rated movie if they would go to the movies on their own.

Again I hear what you are saying it is extremely unlikely that by law the employer does not have to do anything and can sit on their hands but as a parent I have every right to look out for the well being of my daughter and can assure you it will be dealt with....:)
 

Ladyback1

Senior Member
I have a hard time believing that because being called a "whore" and other bullying name calling is not a violation of the law that supervision would tolerate such behavior, yes no law has been broken I see that.

Not sure how a company stays profitable with high churn rates because who would want to continue to work in an environment like that and have to continue to train and certify lifeguards? If it is not dealt with I will gladly inform the parents of the children that visit the pool on a regular basis they should be aware of the language tolerated by the entity as the majority of the pool participants would get a far as a "G" rated movie if they would go to the movies on their own.

Again I hear what you are saying it is extremely unlikely that by law the employer does not have to do anything and can sit on their hands but as a parent I have every right to look out for the well being of my daughter and can assure you it will be dealt with....:)

ahhhhhh....your little princess would be better off if she dealt with this instead of Daddy swooping in to the rescue. Furthermore, you weren't there, and only have princess' version of events. You have NO CLUE what actually happened, NONE.

Oh, and blaring your opinion of the environment of the pool, to the patrons of the pool, could backfire, you dolt!
 

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