Harassment Restraing Order

[RogerD]

What is the name of your state? Minessota

After a bad breakup(I had been with another girl) my ex girlfriend gave me a letter saying she hated me and there would be hell to pay. She lives in Missouri. She threatened to tell all of our friends and my co workers about the affair. She did send out a lot of e-mails and letters telling the details of what I was doing and is continuing to do this. I left a message on her home phone two days after the breakup asking her not to contact me again. She has not contacted me but continues to contact other people. I talked to local authorities and they suggested getting a Harassment Restraining Order which I did. I was shocked that it was as easy has it was. I attached her original letter telling me she hated me etc, and a copy of the e-mail she had sent out and the next thing I know I had a restraining order. I did not think that it could even be done to someone out of state but it was issued. I have ask that she not send more e-mails to my work or home and send no letters to work or home and stay away from my work and home. She has not been to either place but this is how it was suggested that I do it. In the paper work I did not request a court hearing because they said it was not necessary. My ex has now requested a hearing on the restraining order and I guess we are going to have to go to court. My question is am I on solid ground here and do you think I need a lawyer to help me in court. Advice??

Thanks

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state? Minessota

After a bad breakup(I had been with another girl) my ex girlfriend gave me a letter saying she hated me and there would be hell to pay. She lives in Missouri. She threatened to tell all of our friends and my co workers about the affair. She did send out a lot of e-mails and letters telling the details of what I was doing and is continuing to do this. I left a message on her home phone two days after the breakup asking her not to contact me again. She has not contacted me but continues to contact other people. I talked to local authorities and they suggested getting a Harassment Restraining Order which I did. I was shocked that it was as easy has it was. I attached her original letter telling me she hated me etc, and a copy of the e-mail she had sent out and the next thing I know I had a restraining order. I did not think that it could even be done to someone out of state but it was issued. I have ask that she not send more e-mails to my work or home and send no letters to work or home and stay away from my work and home. She has not been to either place but this is how it was suggested that I do it. In the paper work I did not request a court hearing because they said it was not necessary. My ex has now requested a hearing on the restraining order and I guess we are going to have to go to court. My question is am I on solid ground here and do you think I need a lawyer to help me in court. Advice??

Thanks

I'm surprised that a restraining order was issued, unless she had threatened to physically harm you.
If she didn't threaten to harm you physically, it's a very real possibility that a Judge will cancel the order. I know it's upsetting, but legally telling people about something that actually happened is not really illegal. In some situations it can be viewed as harrasment, but you admit that once you asked her to not contact you she did stop. Also, she is out of state, which makes it harder for her to harm you.
It is possible though that a Judge MIGHT leave the order in place specifying that she have no contact with you or anyone you know, but most of the time, Judges don't like to do that.

Unless you feel that she is truly a threat to you physically, you probably don't need a lawyer. While it may be embarrassing to you, her telling people of your "affair" isn't enough of a reason to spend money on an attorney or to even worry much about.

 

[hazeysky]

I agree with Gracie to an extent. What you desscribed doesn't sound like you were being physically threatened. Sounds very strange that a judge would even issue a 'restraining order' based on you explained in this post. Unless it is an unusual circumstance: judges normally will not support a request to forbid another person from contacting any one connected to you. Highly unlikely!! What this girl is telling people sounds more like gossip & angry feelings, not harassment! Remember 'freedom of speech'. You can't control whom people associate with or talk to. Could it be because you admitted the allegations she stated are TRUE, that you don't want her repeating it to people close to you for fear they will treat you in a differnet manner and possibly lose respect for you. This sounds more personal not legal! I feel a slim chance exists that you will stop this gossip through the courts. People forget- it is not slander/harassment if the truth is spoken.. it isn't pleasant for you putting up with this, but what can you do? silence this girl! i doubt it!
You should work on your personal issues, then she or any one else will have nothing bad to say about you! That may be a viable solution.

 

[BL]

It's not so gay , is it ?

 

[RogerD]

Blonde Libinese,

Not sure what you mean but it sure has not been any fun. It really was a long story and too long to go into here but the end was inevitable. Just did not plan for it to happen like it did. We all live and learn and I have done a lot of learning.

RogerD

 

[tessa]

RogerD.

Based on your thread, I must also say that I can not see how a judge would possibly grant a restraining order on what you stated. If no physical threats were made or attempted, I can not see such an order being granted. It appears you are experiencing the aftermath of your own wrongful and foolish actions. A restraining order is not going to fix that. You can not supress this womans "freedom of speech". The only time a judge exerts their authority in the manner you described is when a trial is going on and a gag order is put in effect. It is then the judge may forbid certain people from communicating with others during the trial. if you disobey then you can be fined and even jailed.

Trying to prevent someone from contacting or communicating with people close to you is absured. These individuals have the right to listen or not listen to this girl and they have a right to believe or disbelieve her claims. As long as she does not threaten you or these other people , not much can be done. It is possible you see this girl as "threatening" to you and your reputation, but the law can not do much about that.

If this girls claims were false, then you could sue her in civil court. However, you stated and admitted that she told the truth. So you have no real recoarse. Good luck! learn from your wrongs and forge ahead.