Harassment via Courts by Vengeful Ex

[moxie2burn]

What is the name of your state? New York

My question is this - how does one battle a vengeful ex that uses the court system to harass you?

In November, 2005, I was permitted to relocate from Colorado to New York with our daughter, who is now 2 years old. It was a long, drawn out custody battle that ran from 7/04 through 11/05. The biological father is to have 3 weeks visitation a year; 1 week during the Christmas holidays, 2 weeks during the summer. One month after relocation, I was supposed to make arrangements with the biological father to bring our daughter back to Colorado for 1 week of daytime only parenting-time with our daughter. He refused to communicate with me, so plans were unable to be made. He in return filed Contempt of Court against me, saying i violated the terms of the custody order. I am at present unable to make travel arrangements for the parenting time this summer due to being pregnant and being high-risk; my physician has contacted the courts on my behalf in writing explaining the severity of the health risk, and the courts agree I cannot travel. I have offered to pay half his travel expenses if he would come to NY to visit our daughter; he refuses.

Since December, 05, he has filed upwards of 20 different motions against me. He has been lazy about serving me for the original Contempt of Court filing he made in December; he has tried 1x each month since March, and always has the servers come when I am not home. He has gotten another continuance for the Contempt of Court to have me served by the end of July. He has been trying to have my daughter removed from my custody, have me arrested, prosecute me for criminal contempt, etc.

I have attempted, at least six times, to communicate with this "man" in writing, as he did not provide me with a phone number until last month - to make arrangements for parenting-time for him since December. He has refused to communicate with me, and in May of 06, wrangled an Emergency Custody Hearing - which was outright denied by the Magistrate. I have tried to do the right thing, the fair thing, time after time just to be spit on by this man.

This man was psychologically tested during the custody battle, and found to be a schizophrenic psychopathic deviant. He was ordered in November to get mental health counseling (w/ medication), take parenting/extended nurturing classes, and 6 months of anger management classes. As was evidenced during the hearing in May, he has done nothing to help himself get better. Additionally, he has not paid any support since November of 2005, claiming in court in May this year that he was "paying it into a savings account because he wanted to make sure the money went to his daughter". Despite being ordered to remedy the situation by the Magistrate, he has not.

My question is, what can i do to stop the harassment via the court system? and WHAT can I do to protect my child while he REMAINS UNTREATED FOR MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES? He's crazier than a rabid dog and completely unreasonable. He told me when I left him that he'd "make my life a living hell" and he's sure tried to ruin my life, and that of my husband's, parents ... even our daughter. HE HAS NOT CONTACTED HER OR SHOWN ANY INTEREST IN HER SINCE SHE LEFT COLORADO. No letters, gifts, cards - no acknowledgement of ANY KIND. I'm sick of this.

I'm in NY, we're under NY jurisdiction now, but the order is in Colorado. We've lived here for seven months, and my family goes back generations here. I am surrounded by family. PS his family has TWO CHILD MOLESTERS IN IT; his sister AND his father have both been charged with, and plead to, SEX ABUSE ON A CHILD.

Thanks.What is the name of your state? NY (order originated in CO)What is the name of your state?

 

[Frustrated_one]

Transfer the case to NY. Then file a show cause for non-payment AND consult an attorney about your ex abusing the legal system. If you can't afford an atty, legal aid is available.

Sorry to hear you are going through all this trouble.

 

[acmb05]

Transfer the case to NY. Then file a show cause for non-payment AND consult an attorney about your ex abusing the legal system. If you can't afford an atty, legal aid is available.

Sorry to hear you are going through all this trouble.

This is not as easy as it sounds and probably would not be done. She could file in Co. though but legal aid will not help her because she does not live in that stsate.

 

[Frustrated_one]

This is not as easy as it sounds and probably would not be done.

Just curious but why would it be difficult if she is also planning to file in NY. I realize there may be a time delay with the transfer.

Opps...I meant to say not HIS case but the original case docs with order.

 

[acmb05]

Just curious but why would it be difficult if she is also planning to file in NY. I realize there may be a time delay with the transfer.

Opps...I meant to say not HIS case but the original case docs with order.

The original order is in Co. As long as one party to the order still lives in that state then Co. has jurisdiction on the matter. NY would have to ask the Judge in Co. to give up jurisdiction which from what I have read on here that almost never happens.

If she file sin NY then all her ex has to do is file for a dismissal because NY at this time cannot rule on the case as long as Co has jurisdiction.

 

[moxie2burn]

The original order is in Co. As long as one party to the order still lives in that state then Co. has jurisdiction on the matter. NY would have to ask the Judge in Co. to give up jurisdiction which from what I have read on here that almost never happens.

If she file sin NY then all her ex has to do is file for a dismissal because NY at this time cannot rule on the case as long as Co has jurisdiction.

Hi. I actually have legal representation in NY as well as in Colorado, as you can probably imagine given all of the concerns with mental health, child molesters in his family, relocation issues, etc.

Both of my attorneys have said that I have a good case for jurisdiction tranferring to NY. My attorney in Colorado says she supposes a case could be made to keep jurisdiction there, but she believes we would prevail in the end. She did warn it can be a long, drawn out thing though. As for my NY attorney, he has stated that once this contempt matter is resolved, we can begin proceedings here in NY.

I would rather things be handled here in NY, given the age of my child (26 months), this is the state we reside in, this is the state we have deep familial ties to, and intend to reside in, permanently. I would have lived here beginning July 04, but we were dragged back to Colorado because the baby was born there - and I wasn't able to leave until the courts granted permission to relocate, which we WON $30,000+ later, AGAINST the odds. If there weren't so many issues with his mental health, stability, and immediate family - I'm not sure we would have gotten out. While we lived there, there was rampant stalking, combativeness during exchanges, etc. It was as bad as one can imagine. The communication books tell the tale, and as the Phd parenting-evaluator said during testimony, his entries were "stunningly disturbing". This was part of the reason why out of 52 weeks in a calendar year, he only received 3 ordered for visitation, and only daytime visits - no overnights.

Yes, the biological father does reside there. Anyway, the most important thing to me is not so much what state is taking care of this minor child, just so long as she's protected and he's held accountable for his issues. I've been compliant, and will continue to be so. I just don't see the sense in the only "communication" between us being his filing motion after motion, sending process servers after me, etc. As a gesture of good will, I sent him a Christmas card from our daughter w/her Christmas portraits; no response, just the Contempt citation. How do you co-parent with someone like this, someone who views you exclusively as an adversary? It's like trying to dance with a partner whose feet are stuck in cement.

Any suggestions as far as motions, UCCJEA order registration, cross-contempt actions, etc. are very welcome. Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

It sounds to me like you are doing all that you can...and that you are on top of the situation. You should listen to the guidance of your attorneys.