Harrassment? Child Custody

[AngryMom627]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

My daughter's father, filed for sole physical and legal custody out of spite; I currently have sole physical and joint-legal. He is not paying child support, the proceedings has cost me several days pay to show up to court for the ongoing hearings. He came before the court claiming my 5 week pit bull puppy bit her in the face when she hadn't been bit; I produced hospital records showing he was present at the hospital and concluded she is allergic to mosquito bites, statement from the daycare, etc; all to show she was not harmed by any puppy. To make a long story short, we went thru mediation; none of his accusations were found true; however the mediator, suggests a week to week parenting time to reduce conflict. This is unacceptable considering when I allowed him back in July to keep my daughter a week, he didn't bathe her, groom her hair, she came home asking to take a bath, btw, the mediator said he didn't deny any of this in her report. The mediator also said that he admitted not supporting her over the first 4 years of her life, but will promise to do so, going forth. Note this man, has 2 daughters from a previous relationship that he doesn't see, my daughter has seen her sisters once this year. When I mention this to the mediator she suggests that "I" reach out to their mother to ensure my daughter has her sibling time....that's funny right, I wish I would.

This man has presented the court with all type of false accusations none of them found true, costing me money, all the while not paying support, of course he wants to adopt the mediator's recommendation, I come into work after being out with the flu to find that he is sending court documents to my place of work. He knows I moved but I will not tell him where I live, my mail is being forwarded, this man has stole personal papers and given them to the court, called out animal control, now sending my personal papers to my place of work, Do I have any recourse in this situation???? Please Help!!!

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

My daughter's father, filed for sole physical and legal custody out of spite; I currently have sole physical and joint-legal. He is not paying child support, the proceedings has cost me several days pay to show up to court for the ongoing hearings.

So are you filing contempt every time he fails to pay?

He came before the court claiming my 5 week pit bull puppy bit her in the face when she hadn't been bit; I produced hospital records showing he was present at the hospital and concluded she is allergic to mosquito bites, statement from the daycare, etc; all to show she was not harmed by any puppy. To make a long story short, we went thru mediation; none of his accusations were found true; however the mediator, suggests a week to week parenting time to reduce conflict. This is unacceptable considering when I allowed him back in July to keep my daughter a week, he didn't bathe her, groom her hair, she came home asking to take a bath, btw, the mediator said he didn't deny any of this in her report.

Apparently it is acceptable otherwise the recommendation would not have been made.

This man has presented the court with all type of false accusations none of them found true, costing me money, all the while not paying support, of course he wants to adopt the mediator's recommendation, I come into work after being out with the flu to find that he is sending court documents to my place of work. He knows I moved but I will not tell him where I live, my mail is being forwarded, this man has stole personal papers and given them to the court, called out animal control, now sending my personal papers to my place of work, Do I have any recourse in this situation???? Please Help!!!

Uh..you're giving him NO CHOICE - if he doesn't know where you live, how is he meant to give you anything? Regardless, what are you wishing to accomplish?

 

[Zigner]

I suggest that you get rid of the dog.

 

[Proserpina]

I suggest that you get rid of the dog.

Why?! What did I do?!

 

[mom482]

week to week parenting plans do reduce conflict as long as both parents are fit. if you have concerns of neglect they should have been reported to cps. how old is your child? they should be able to bathe themselves. unfortunately just because parents don't get along, doesn't mean they aren't fit to have equal time w/ the child.
i'm not aware of all the facts - since the posters tend to leave out any faults they may have (or we may not see them as faults cause its so much easier to judge others than ourselves).
if the court does change you to a week to week parenting plan - take advantage of your free time. my ex husband had week to week (the kids would stay w/ the 'noncustodial' parent on wednesday night so they did see both parents, but parenting time was equal and it reduced exchanges as the parents got the kids from school for wednesday on their 'off' week). mom was a psycho but dad liked to push her buttons. they both had drastically different parenting styles as you and your ex appear to have. she was only mad about the 50-50 cause she got less support. what she never realized was she had free child care for 50% of the time to persue her personal or career goals w/o any guilt, because the child was after all w/ the father, not w/ a babysitter etc.

it sounds like you both are throwing accusations around.

 

[Isis1]

Why?! What did I do?!

i'm taking custody of the Dog!! she's mine!! and i'm NOT getting rid of her!!!

 

[AngryMom627]

So are you filing contempt every time he fails to pay?

Yes, I have filed a show cause hearing for non-payment of support it takes 5 weeks to get scheduled.

Apparently it is acceptable otherwise the recommendation would not have been made.

Well I do think it is unnacceptable...that someone who doesn't have a job, doesn't pay support, doesn't bathe his own child and hasn't supported his other kids can take the sole person thru hell out of spite. Personally, I think it's sexully and racially biased as everything else is in life.

Uh..you're giving him NO CHOICE - if he doesn't know where you live, how is he meant to give you anything? Regardless, what are you wishing to accomplish?

Uh.... my mailing address has not changed, he's been demanding my new address and I am not releasing it. My mail is forwarded, I have rec'd every court notice, and when asked at court to list my address, I have listed my previous address, it's none of his business where I live, he's a control freak, there is a history of violence. I want this person to stay clear of me. I've moved on in a relationship and ever since there has been hell. He's attempted to remove emergency contacts from my daughter's school records.

I want to be left alone; btw the recommendation still awards me sole physical custody of my daughter. I just don't think it's fair someone can run to court with a pack full of lies; not pay child support and cost me; he buys my daughter gifts, all the while not paying support and e-mails me to let him know if she needs anything. Again unacceptable. He needs to pay his support and leave me the he** alone!

 

[Antigone*]

i'm taking custody of the Dog!! she's mine!! and i'm NOT getting rid of her!!!

Hey...hold on I think we're going to have a custody battle of our own going on here. I want custody of Doggie too

 

[Proserpina]

Uh.... my mailing address has not changed, he's been demanding my new address and I am not releasing it. My mail is forwarded, I have rec'd every court notice, and when asked at court to list my address, I have listed my previous address, it's none of his business where I live, he's a control freak, there is a history of violence. I want this person to stay clear of me. I've moved on in a relationship and ever since there has been hell. He's attempted to remove emergency contacts from my daughter's school records.

I want to be left alone; btw the recommendation still awards me sole physical custody of my daughter. I just don't think it's fair someone can run to court with a pack full of lies; not pay child support and cost me; he buys my daughter gifts, all the while not paying support and e-mails me to let him know if she needs anything. Again unacceptable. He needs to pay his support and leave me the he** alone!

Whether or not you think it's fair or acceptable isn't the issue.

Are you filing contempt for non-payment? Is there an official history of violence against you? Does this endanger your child?

I'm still not exactly sure what you want to happen?

 

[AngryMom627]

I suggest that you get rid of the dog.

I'm not getting rid of my dog, it's another control tactic; when we lived together, I lost my home to foreclosure, cause he wasn't contributing financially, didn't help me secure housing after the foreclosure (btw he admits this to the mediator as well), he was taking his paychecks to pay an attorney to fight his aunts over his grandmothers property in NY (his father is deceased), this is when I really saw this persons true character. I would never do such a thing to my elders. Anyway.... I'm supposed to let the person who caused me to foreclose in the first place control, never supported his daughter, determine what I have in my new home.

Sorry but Miss Sophia (The Color Purple) is home and ain't havin it. But the animal control agent was a big help, she told me to keep all my medical records and vet bills and I did that, and turned the over in mediation.

 

[AngryMom627]

mom was a psycho but dad liked to push her buttons. they both had drastically different parenting styles as you and your ex appear to have. she was only mad about the 50-50 cause she got less support. what she never realized was she had free child care for 50% of the time to persue her personal or career goals w/o any guilt, because the child was after all w/ the father, not w/ a babysitter etc.

it sounds like you both are throwing accusations around.

I've only presented facts not accusations, I explained about my daughter claiming he didn't bathe her, now I just find out, he's living with his 2 brothers, he was living with his sister, and my daughter who is almost 4 is still sleeping with her father. This is unacceptable, she has no bed or anything of her own. I do agree with you especially when you say we have different parenting styleis.... I have other children and I have always taken care of my children, unlike this man, the staff at the daycare would tell me they can clearly see he has no interest in our daughter he using her out of spite, he left her there until 6:15 pm w/o a call or anything, I had to come pick her up, my daughter was in tears....these aren't accusations these are founded facts, that I don't even bring up. After this occurance he picked her up at 5:35 pm claiming not to know the daycare closed at 5:30, he was running late from work, but what so amazing is this was back towards the end of August, if he was at worked then why haven't I rec'd child support since the beginning of August. This guy is a liar and manipulator; one lawyer said it best....A LOT OF MEN DO THIS NOT TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT! But if you think it's about the money with me you are DEAD WRONG, I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. This man has a bachelors in computer engineering from U of M, yet he reduced the child support from $432/mo to $160, I didn't even attend the modification hearing, I have a family to support, I can't keep missing work over him, he doesn't want to pay, he tells them the working in warehouse making $8.50/hr, then quits that job and hasn't paid support since, so who do u think is the NUT? Enough is Enough, I'm taking it a step at a time... what goes around comes around.

 

[Proserpina]

I've only presented facts not accusations, I explained about my daughter claiming he didn't bathe her, now I just find out, he's living with his 2 brothers, he was living with his sister, and my daughter who is almost 4 is still sleeping with her father. This is unacceptable, she has no bed or anything of her own. I do agree with you especially when you say we have different parenting styleis.... I have other children and I have always taken care of my children, unlike this man, the staff at the daycare would tell me they can clearly see he has no interest in our daughter he using her out of spite, he left her there until 6:15 pm w/o a call or anything, I had to come pick her up, my daughter was in tears....these aren't accusations these are founded facts, that I don't even bring up. After this occurance he picked her up at 5:35 pm claiming not to know the daycare closed at 5:30, he was running late from work, but what so amazing is this was back towards the end of August, if he was at worked then why haven't I rec'd child support since the beginning of August. This guy is a liar and manipulator; one lawyer said it best....A LOT OF MEN DO THIS NOT TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT! But if you think it's about the money with me you are DEAD WRONG, I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. This man has a bachelors in computer engineering from U of M, yet he reduced the child support from $432/mo to $160, I didn't even attend the modification hearing, I have a family to support, I can't keep missing work over him, he doesn't want to pay, he tells them the working in warehouse making $8.50/hr, then quits that job and hasn't paid support since, so who do u think is the NUT? Enough is Enough, I'm taking it a step at a time... what goes around comes around.

What is it you want to happen? To pay his child support and not have visitation? Pay support and have only supervised visitation? What?

 

[Rushia]

i'm taking custody of the Dog!! she's mine!! and i'm NOT getting rid of her!!!

Hey...hold on I think we're going to have a custody battle of our own going on here. I want custody of Doggie too

You'll both lose! I'm the most Senior Member of the three of us and the most experienced with Third Party custody/visitation. I want Dog.

 

[AngryMom627]

I want EOW visits for him to pick her up from school on Friday and drop-off on Monday to avoid any contact with me, he should have to prove to the courts he is fit, meaning providing a verifiable lease, that my daughter has sleeping quarters, he is getting her to/from school on time. I will retain sole physical custody of course, I want joint legal to have a stipulation that he CANNOT authorize any medical care unless I am incapacitated. He has taken my daughter to the doctor twice to have her privates checked w/o consulting with me as the joint legal calls for. I provide medical coverage for my daughter, I have been sent medical bills for items not covered under the insurance because of his actions.

 

[AngryMom627]

Whether or not you think it's fair or acceptable isn't the issue.

Are you filing contempt for non-payment? Is there an official history of violence against you? Does this endanger your child?

I'm still not exactly sure what you want to happen?

Yes, I filed for the show cause for non payment of support, my priority is my daughter. I provided the police report at the mediation with pics, it was in the police report, I was upset that I was losing my home to foreclosure, that he was not supporting the home, it also states that I stated he grabbed me and threw me down and I scratched his face in defense. He contests that none of this happen, that I pulled the t.v. down on top of him and while he was holding it it mid air, i scratched his face I provided the pictures of the bruises that appeared on my arm 2 days later, I told the mediator, i called the person who took the report and got no response,the mediator claimed we were both at fault. He never claimed to have harmed me so where did the bruises come from? The case wasn't taken by the prosecuting attorney, although I don't think they have any knowledge of my bruises. It's my fault, I should have persued the PPO right then and there on the spot, I probably wouldn't be in this position, but I was losing my home and focused on working and getting new housing. I dropped the ball.