Harrassment in school being ignored

[zcrappy1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NYS.

My child is in a public elementary school this year. my daughter brought it to my attention that another student had told her that he was going to put his privates in her mouth and that on another occasion he tried to break into the girls bathroom while she was inside. I mmediately reported this to the school. I spoke with the guidance councelor and they told me they would handle the situation ..that the childs parents would be called in to a meeting. After that... I never received a follow up call. I tried reaching to the school on several different occasions and never received a solid answer as to what was being done.. only that the other childs parent had been informed and that the child had apologized to my daughter. Several weeks passed and then once again my daughter came home..saying that the little boy had once again approached her with offensive language and gestures. At this point she informed me that a man had come to her classroom and taken her to an office and questioned her about the complaint i had made to the school when the first event took place. My daughter said the man on countless times refered to the boy private part as 'Di%K". my daughter stated that the man told her " i hate to use the same word that the boy used but did the boy say .....Di%K" and continued to question he r in this way, My daughter stated she felt scared and embarassed to be having such conversations with this man. I immediately went to the school and for 3 days i was being told noone was a vailable to speak to me. on the third day i managed to have a one on one conversation with the Assistant principal. She claimed that the principal was out sick till further notice. At this point i demanded to know who had interviewed my child without my consent nor knowledge. The Assistant principal then informed me that after i filed the first complaint.. the child had been suspeded form the classroom and had been prohibited to attend school events such as trips. The Asisstant principal also informed me that the childs mother did not take it well and retaliated against the school... by showing up at the school unannounce and by yelling at the school staff in obcene language stating they had discriminated her son. The school escorted her out side and the mother continued to scream obscene language at the school till police removed her from the property. The mother then procedeed to report the school to the board of education and launched an inverstigation against the school because she felt the school had forced her child to write a statement admitting that the boy had made the sexual comments/advancement toward my daughter. So... an investigator came to the school to gather info. related to the opened case. The investigator pulled my child out class and questioned her. After being informed of all this ... i asked the assistant principal "why noone had contacted me to follow up on the matter... why hadnt anyone informed me the boy had been suspended? why hadnt anyone informed me an investigation was going? "Had my daughter not told me about the investigators questionings i wouldve never known all this was going on. The Assistant principals response to this was... You are right, we shouldve followed up with you, we were wrong and we are sorry"...
I then informed the Assistant Principal that my daughter had informed me that the child continued to make graphic sexual comments to her in school. The Assistant principals response to this was ... "I am sorry but at this point theres really nothing we can do because we are being investigated and arent allowed to even contact the boys mother. The school is being investigated and is in jeopardy. We have our hands tied". My response to this was ..."so you are telling me that theres nothing u can do to protect my child from sexual harrassment? How can you guarantee me that my child wont be in danger? who can i speak to that can help me deal with this in terms of counseling for my child?" ...

tthe Assistant principal told me they cannot help me while they are being investigated because "she wants to retire clean". That i must continue sending my child to school to be in a possible hostile environmnt and continual exposure to sexual harassment. that i should give the school time to sort this whole mess that they are in before they can help me and my child. Assistant principal even told me " the truth of the matter is that its a crazy place we live in and that not to be surprised becase in the future in highschool my daughter would be exposed to things even more horrible " that right now theres nothing they can do to stop the harrassment.

so point blank:i have turned to the school for help and have been denied. I have been clearly told that they must save themselves before they can save my child.They were unable to direct me to someone who COULD help us. I dont know what direction to take from here but i do not feel comfortable sending my child to this type of environment. Any advice as to where i can go from here will be greatly appreciated.
P.S.. The Assistant Principal told me she couldnt give me the name nor any info. pertaining to the man who interviewed my daughter because she didnt know if she was allowed to do so.

 

[cyjeff]

No, you were told that they cannot take action until their investigation is complete.

Completely different action.

 

[cyjeff]

One more point, you are not, repeat not, entitled to any information about the other child in this incident.

 

[zcrappy1]

being that they cannot take action until the investigation is over...
What can i do at this point to protect my child from being furtherly exposed to the harassment? i simply do not feel that its safe for her to be in the same environment as the other student..specially when the school cannot take ANY action 2 protect her until the investigation is over. I just dont know where to go from here. Was it legal for my child to be interviewed without my knowledge of the situation? The other student continues to harass my child. There must be something i can do other than removing her from the classroom, She is in an Advanced Class and removing her to another class will set her back.

 

[kdhohio]

I am not a lawyer...this is not legal advice.

zcrappy, I would tell your daughter to avoid the other student completely. Instruct her to go no where alone during school. On the playground, play near the moniter, in the halls walk with friends, at lunch stay by as many people as possible. He may not be so comfortable saying anything with others around.

I would contact the school board members. Ask them their advice on where to go from here. How to keep your child safe. Ask her teacher to keep a closer eye on her. If this child harasses her again I would contact the school again, the school resource officer, counselor, the school board and if still you aren't getting help, the police and file a complaint on the child.

Good Luck

 

[Humusluvr]

being that they cannot take action until the investigation is over...
What can i do at this point to protect my child from being furtherly exposed to the harassment? i simply do not feel that its safe for her to be in the same environment as the other student..specially when the school cannot take ANY action 2 protect her until the investigation is over. I just dont know where to go from here. Was it legal for my child to be interviewed without my knowledge of the situation? The other student continues to harass my child. There must be something i can do other than removing her from the classroom, She is in an Advanced Class and removing her to another class will set her back.

The school should not have talked to you AT ALL concerning the other student. That is violating HIS rights.

It sounds like the school itself is having some issues with its Principal and staff.

Walk into the school district's central office, and ask to speak to the Superintendent. He HAS to see you, that's his job. Especially with something as serious as this.

Realize that you are not getting the full story here. Your daughter is in elementary school. SHE is not telling you the full story. The Assistant Principal is not giving you the full story. THEY are trying to cover their butts. Everyone has a stake in this.

Ask the superintendent that your daughter be transferred to a different elementary school within the district, pending the outcome of the investigation. She should be transferred into equivalent classes. You CANNOT ask that the boy be kicked out of your daughter's school, because that would be trampling on HIS rights to a fair investigation. You cannot take away HIS rights.

The only thing you can control in this situation is YOUR DAUGHTER. YOU are her parent, and need to look out for her best interests. If this warrants a change in schools to keep her safe - do it - by all means. Your main priority should be your daughter's safety, not making sure other parties are punished or kicked out or whatever. Just focus on your daughter's safety, and transferring is the only way to get her out of this situation.

And to a certain degree, the Assistant Principal is right - your daughter will see and hear a lot worse throughout her educational path.