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Have a friend that's in a "mess" please help

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tonysgrl48

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida

I have a friend at work who is a male. His wife died a couple of years ago in a very tragic car accident. It definitely was the other persons fault. He is going to be getting a nice little chunk of money that is being divided between his 13 year old stepson, his ex mother inlaw, and himself. Since the untimely death of his wife, he has met another woman. It seems that this woman has him wrapped around her finger, and, is calling all the shots. She does know about the money. She was living in another county, and, quit her job to move up here with him. She has not even attempted to find another job. Everyone at work could see what was coming... but, not him. She calls him constantly at work and gets him in trouble. The boss has been pretty decent about the situation, but on the same token has had many talks with him about the phone calls. He has also talked to her about them but, it goes in one ear and out the other. She is now about three months pregnant. Says she cannot drive, can't clean, can't do "anything". (you know what I mean...lazy) He just moved out of a trailer, and into a house with the option to buy. His credit is not good enough to get a loan, and neither is hers so, I guess with a letter from his attorney, saying he will be getting so much money, he was able to move into the house. He had a situation years ago, that caused him to have a record(police). He is on probation and cannot leave the county without a travel permit. She...knowing this, made plans for them to go to a party back in her county. He wa not ablt to get a permit to go. She is now giving him a very hard time about it, among other things. Now, she tells him that she is too sick to drive anywhere, makes him take her to the doctor, and whrerever. But now she tells him that she is going to drive herself to"the party" and go without him. He I think is starting to see what kind of person she is and is now becoming concerned about how it's going to be later. If he decides to ask her to leave, or shall we say if they split up, and, since they are not married yet (thank God) is she entitled to any of the money he will be getiing from the death of his deceased wife? We already know that he will have to pay child support. That's a given. She does have family in the other county that she moved from and can always go back there. It's about an hour away. Now about having visitation with his child... His conviction was having sex with a minor. They had a child together and he is paying child support for her. Will he be able to see this child if they do split? Will it have to be supervised? We really need to make him see the light here before it's too late. He's reaching out for help now and we want him to go about things the right way. Pleas help.

Thank you all in advanceWhat is the name of your state?
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Having sex with a minor? It is highly likely that he would have to have supervised visitation. As for the money -- girlfriend doesn't have a claim to any of it. After the baby is born she may have a claim to money for labor and delivery and definitely child support. This man has a child with the child he had sex with?
This is a bit convoluted. Visitation with both these children will probably end up being supervised because he is probably a registered sex offender. Who are you in this whole story?
 

tonysgrl48

Junior Member
Ohiogal said:
Having sex with a minor? It is highly likely that he would have to have supervised visitation. As for the money -- girlfriend doesn't have a claim to any of it. After the baby is born she may have a claim to money for labor and delivery and definitely child support. This man has a child with the child he had sex with?
This is a bit convoluted. Visitation with both these children will probably end up being supervised because he is probably a registered sex offender. Who are you in this whole story?
OK Let me explain a little better. 10 years ago, he was dating this girl who was 16 at the time, (looked and told him she was 20). He was in love with her. They got pregnant. Her mother didn't have a problem with this. (If I were the mother, I would) anyway, the stepfather had a problem with it and pressed charges. So, obvioulsy, they had to break up. He pays child support for his daughter. You have to understand that if he knew how old she was, he would have never touched her. He's not that type. And now, yes he has to register as a sex offender. I am nothing but a co-worker to him. He is just a nice guy that is looking to be happy and have a life. Believe me, that if he was a "child molester", I would never ever have anything to do with him. I am a firm believer that you do not harm in anyway shape or form children or animals. (anyone, for that matter) I know how it feels. So please, no ill feelings towards him, just some fair, nonjudgemental advice. Thanks Ohiogal
 

seniorjudge

Senior Member
You have to understand that if he knew how old she was, he would have never touched her.


Yeah, right. I have some great swampland just this side of Baton Rouge. Are you interested?

The guy is a pervert.
 

tonysgrl48

Junior Member
seniorjudge said:
You have to understand that if he knew how old she was, he would have never touched her.


Yeah, right. I have some great swampland just this side of Baton Rouge. Are you interested?

The guy is a pervert.
I saw a picture of her and she "did not " look 16. And the picture was of when he first met her. She definitely did not look her age. And come on now, there are sometimes when the guy is innocent. And, I also blame the mother for not telling him either.
 

AHA

Senior Member
tonysgrl48 said:
I saw a picture of her and she "did not " look 16. And the picture was of when he first met her. She definitely did not look her age. And come on now, there are sometimes when the guy is innocent. And, I also blame the mother for not telling him either.
She was legally a child and he was the adult involved in their sexual activity, it was not up to anyone else but him to make sure of her age before he had sex with her. The fact that he obviously had UNPROTECTED sex with her also proves that he was irresponsible, and that's no one else's fault but his.
 

Halls

Member
To answer your questions, the mother to be of his second child is not entitled to any of the money coming from the death of the deceased wife's death.

Daddy will have to pay child support and prenatal fees. And if he wants visitation if not with the mother of his child he will have to ask the court for it and will likely get something small to start with, but I doubt he will get a lot based on his previous sex crime.

Personally, I don't see what is so bad about the woman he is with now. You make it sound like she is just money hungry, but maybe she really just wants to be with the guy. If she is 3 months pg and suffering morning sickenss, that may very well be a reason she can't work right now. I met and married my DH in 9 months and within the first year I was pg, sick, and couldn't work. Some could say I was just looking for a man to take care of me, but that wasn't true. Why are you so negative about the woman he is with? Seriously, why do you care and why do you want your coworker to dump this gal when she is pg with his child? That is just low and irresponsible at this point! Let me guess, you are a female and have feelings for this guy??

I think you should stay out of business that doesn't belong to you and leave this guy alone.
 

Halls

Member
Hello, yes I did say WILL have to. Don't you think you were pointing out something a little petty there SHAY??????
 

Halls

Member
Great, I have to add another rude person on my ignore list. Too many damn rude people on here. Frankly it is sad....
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
Halls said:
Great, I have to add another rude person on my ignore list. Too many damn rude people on here. Frankly it is sad....
Why not just add me without advertising it to me? :rolleyes:

You gave incorrect advice to the troll.


Happy ignoring! If you think you can.:D
 

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