Have to have phone, but get harrassed

[modad75]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

My ex has my phone number since I have the kids full time, however, she never calls them. But that option is there, and if there were an emergency she has my number.

It is not stated in the court order that she has to be permitted phone calls or that I have to tell her my number but I think its best. HOWEVER, she has now started harrassing me through text messages. She is sending them from a free online text messaging site so I cannot take it to court to have it stopped. It is saying things that are obvious it is her, but that can't be proved in court since I don't have a number from her as evidence. So I want to change my number, but I don't think it is a good idea for me to change it and her not have my number, even though she chooses not to ever call.

How should this be handled? What can I do?

I've considered a home phone and changing my cell number and only allowing her to have the house phone number. That would cost me an extra $30.00-35.00 a month though.

Thanks for the tips/ideas.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

My ex has my phone number since I have the kids full time, however, she never calls them. But that option is there, and if there were an emergency she has my number.

It is not stated in the court order that she has to be permitted phone calls or that I have to tell her my number but I think its best. HOWEVER, she has now started harrassing me through text messages. She is sending them from a free online text messaging site so I cannot take it to court to have it stopped. It is saying things that are obvious it is her, but that can't be proved in court since I don't have a number from her as evidence. So I want to change my number, but I don't think it is a good idea for me to change it and her not have my number, even though she chooses not to ever call.

How should this be handled? What can I do?

I've considered a home phone and changing my cell number and only allowing her to have the house phone number. That would cost me an extra $30.00-35.00 a month though.

Thanks for the tips/ideas.

You seem to have come up with the best idea. Just ask yourself is not being "harrassed" worth the money? If not then you probably aren't being harrassed to much.

 

[modad75]

You seem to have come up with the best idea. Just ask yourself is not being "harrassed" worth the money? If not then you probably aren't being harrassed to much.

You are right. It is definately worth the money. But I am laid off and trying to save every dime I can since I don't get any help or any child support from her (ordered, not paid though). Once I get back to work it won't be a problem at all. Until then, I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle it. I might just have to budget to do this. Thanks!

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

You are right. It is definately worth the money. But I am laid off and trying to save every dime I can since I don't get any help or any child support from her (ordered, not paid though). Once I get back to work it won't be a problem at all. Until then, I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle it. I might just have to budget to do this. Thanks!

You know the wonderful thing about texting? You don't even have to read them just delete them It's not something to get stressed about in the grand scheme of life ya know?

 

[modad75]

You know the wonderful thing about texting? You don't even have to read them just delete them It's not something to get stressed about in the grand scheme of life ya know?

Yes, true. And when she gets no reaction from me she tries harder for awhile but eventually gives up for a month or two before trying something else.

But just not having to deal with the texts would be nice. I changed my email for this reason. A home phone would eliminate this but still keep me in the clear for allowing her contact if she ever changes her mind that she wants to speak with the children someday.

Is there any way I can have an unidentified text message traced so I can have a no contact order put in?

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Yes, true. And when she gets no reaction from me she tries harder for awhile but eventually gives up for a month or two before trying something else.

But just not having to deal with the texts would be nice. I changed my email for this reason. A home phone would eliminate this but still keep me in the clear for allowing her contact if she ever changes her mind that she wants to speak with the children someday.

Is there any way I can have an unidentified text message traced so I can have a no contact order put in?

Im assuming she is texting with SMS texting. I am not sure if that is possible but if you can find out what providers she is using you may be able to... Again I don't really see why its such a big deal to just ignore it. Compared to some of the behaviors we hear on here from manipulate or just plain hateful ex's yours is a blessing in its smalls potatoeness. (yea I know not a word)

 

[modad75]

Im assuming she is texting with SMS texting. I am not sure if that is possible but if you can find out what providers she is using you may be able to... Again I don't really see why its such a big deal to just ignore it. Compared to some of the behaviors we hear on here from manipulate or just plain hateful ex's yours is a blessing in its smalls potatoeness. (yea I know not a word)

I guess because it's this on top of all the other things that she does. Just plain hateful ex's are a pain... especially when part of that hatefulness is directed at the children. But, do what we can to eliminate the most we can of that hate. Not a word, but ads some fun Thanks for the chat about it!

 

[nextwife]

And get an answering machine and caller ID. Don't pick up unless you want to talk to her. You can always fast forwad through her messages to see if there's anything there you need, and respond by text or email to her VM. Ignore the other texts.

I never use text. I'd have no idea if anyone were harassing me by text messaging.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

I guess because it's this on top of all the other things that she does. Just plain hateful ex's are a pain... especially when part of that hatefulness is directed at the children. But, do what we can to eliminate the most we can of that hate. Not a word, but ads some fun Thanks for the chat about it!

Trust me I feel your pain. My ex husband, who is no longer even legally the father since my husband has adopted the kids, has discovered the wonderful world of texting. He texts way to much ( I did divorce him for a reason and it wasn't to keep chatting) anyway I just figure he is either bored or lonely either way it doesn't kill me to be annoyed and he is my childrens bio father so I just grin and read.

 

[CJane]

What is she actually saying in these texts that is harassing in nature?

And how is it that you want a no contact order, but want to make sure she can contact you?

 

[modad75]

What is she actually saying in these texts that is harassing in nature?

And how is it that you want a no contact order, but want to make sure she can contact you?

Since I DON'T have a no contact order, I want to make sure I have everything done right. I actually don't know if I HAVE To give her my number or not since it's not in the court order, however, I know when I first went to court my lawyer said to always make sure she could get ahold of me.

They are mainly just her calling me and my wife names, accusing me or my wife of doing things, and pretending to be other people saying things about us. Easy to ignore, but a pain to get these texts all the time.

Since she has chosen to not call the girls, now been one year since her last phone call to them, I don't care to have any contact with her. But until I have a no contact order

 

[Zigner]

You could get a prepaid cell phone and only give the ex the number. That way, the ONLY calls/texts that come in would be from the ex and your main phone is free from all that stuff.