Hawaii Dynasty

[cajunmonsieur]

quite honestly I don't know where to begin but here it goes.

For the last 8 months or so my wife and I have grown apart from each other. I work long hours and travel quite a bit for work. Normally when I come home the basic conversation is "how are you", I ask her question about our daughter activities for the day and then I spend some time with our daughter. Nothing else is said between us, it feels like living with a stranger. We sometimes argue but that as far as it goes.
For the last 4 or 5 months I have suspected her of having an affair only because of attitude change and willingness to not want to do anything together.
I went on a business trip 10-24 August and upon my return same old thing nothing new. On Monday she told me she was leaving and I only answered ok. I then asked her what she wanted, she then answered by asking me what I wanted. The conversation went no where.
Tuesday when I returned from work sure enough she left with our daughter who is 18 month old and I had not heard from her since. Today to my surprise I got served with a TRO which blew my mind cause for the past few days I have only been worried about the living conditions of our daughter. My wife is a stay at home Mom and does not work.
As far as the TRO goes I was surprised at the incidents she mentioned and is claiming extreme psychological abuse along with threat of immense physical harm, bodily injury and assult.

I feel that the TRO she filed is ridiculous as per the order I can not even see our daughter. I am confused as she left on her own free will and has not contacted me. A couple of months ago she got a separate cell phone which see never gave me the number to so I have no way of contacting her anyway. We live in Hawaii and neither of us has family here so I'm just assuming she is staying with some of her friends.

What can I do? I guessing from this action it will also lead to divorce. Do I have to file for legal separation or does filing for divorce make that you are legally separated?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

Last question first. If you file for divorce, you don't need legal separation first. Rules for divorce in HI:
Hawaii Divorce Source: Grounds for Divorce: Hawaii
Ordinarily, you would file for divorce and ask for an order that the child be returned to the marital home, but you'd need to serve your ex and since you don't know how to reach her, that's going to be a problem. Your attorney can help.

As for the TRO, there's nothing you can do about it at this moment. However, there will have to be a hearing. In some states, the hearing must occur within 15 days - I don't know about Hawaii. At the hearing, you will be able to defend yourself. She will have to prove her allegations. Since it's likely to be 'he said, she said', it may come down to credibility.

Get yourself to a family law attorney first thing Tuesday morning. You don't want to do this alone.

 

[cajunmonsieur]

mistoffolees,

Thanks for your advise and I will definitely be visiting a family attorney first thing Tuesday.
I do have a date for the TRO and I'm guessing the since she has to be present also she can be served then.
Question: on the TRO she states of an incident that happened but completely states the argument in her favor and does not mention that the police came over. However, she actually was the one going off the deep end and scared me enough to where I called 911. The police came I spoke to them, then they spoke to her and advise us to handle it on our own. How could I get a copy of my 911 call and should I present it at the hearing?