**Help** Age of Consent in NJ

[korzygirl]

**Help** Is this Illegal??

undefinedWhat is the name of your state? NJ

Is it illegal for a 25 year-old to date a 16 year-old, since the Age of Consent in NJ is 16?

Can his dad do anything to damage her legally?

I know these two close friends from church, he is 16 and she is 25... I love them both dearly, and they've become closer and closer leading to a love relationship. I know they are very sincere, but I am terrified to know that something would happen to her being "older". The relantionship is a healthy one, very loving, but his parents of course have threatened her to stay away because of the "age difference"... Can they legally do something to her and claim rape or abuse of a minor? They have only kissed for now...love each other dearly, his mom loves her, but dad is very very mad about this whole thing. HELP!

- Since the NJ age of consent is 16, are there still grounds to claim abuse or rape in this relationship? (let's asume they do have sex)

- What else could the dad use against her? I would hate to see their lives ruined... he is a straight A student heading to an Ivy league school and she is an incredible executive as well...

THANKS!!!!!!!!!

 

[CdwJava]

If she sees him against their will, and thus encourages him to be out of their control, yes, they can likely go after her with some form of criminal charges. Age of consent does not mean that the 16 year old is independent and the adult is free and clear from any responsibility. They can seek charges for contributing to his delinquency depending on what the details are, and, they can likely seek a court order preventing her from contacting him.

And what does a 25 year old woman see in a 16 year old BOY? You wanna talk about immature?! And apparently they aren't listening in church if he is not listening to his mom and dad, and she is not considering the wishes of his parents.

- Since the NJ age of consent is 16, are there still grounds to claim abuse or rape in this relationship? (let's asume they do have sex)

Of course they will ... he's 16 - THAT is what he sees in this relationship. And what SHE sees is beyond me.

And yes, there are grounds to claim a number of things ... maybe not sex crimes, but other offenses.

- Carl

 

[OhBullship]

If the boy were my friend, or child, I would advise him to wait those two years. Then when he is 18, and she is damn near 30, he might view things differently. She might view things differently too, especially if she finds children attractive.

 

[korzygirl]

so...

So I should advice them to separate and wait ah? if they are "really in love"... He is turning 17 in a month, so it's about a year to wait.

Also (Based on your replies), the fact that they may see each other or talk to each other in the mean time could definitely cause her to get in trouble legally then... right? Like what would be the grounds?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

The easiest thing to say is for them to totally separate until he turns 18. If they are truly in love, then they can have a relationship without threat of contributing to the delinquency of a minor or other charges that the angry father might press.

In reality this may not be possible if they attend the same church even a restraining order will not usually, without good cause prevent them from things such as attending church, but it may place restrictions such as communications or how close they may sit togther etc. while there.

Not knowing the dynamics of the situation such as, the marital and relationship history of the older woman, the social history of the boy, the dynamics between the boy's parents, is it the relationship or some other issue that is behind the father's opposition since the mother is supportive.

Some parents oppose any relationship their children might have. It might be a good idea for these two people to get into counseling individually at first, if and when then get together in the future, couples counseling because there are more issues here than meet the eye and ending the relationship will not resolve those issues.

 

[cbg]

This is the same thing I tell all the teenagers and young twenties who write here asking if it's legal for them to have sex with a xx year old.

If you have to ask whether it's legal or not, then regardless of whether the answer is yes or no, it is a VERY bad idea for you to go ahead with it.

I'd used some stronger language the first time I typed it, but decided it might be offensive. D***ed fool was among the milder descriptions. You get the idea.

 

[stealth2]

No matter how nice your friend is, there is something seriously wrong with an adult who pursues a romantic relationship with a child. I'd advise her to seek counseling to figure out why she's not interested in men her own age and to leave the kid alone.

 

[korzygirl]

so forgive me for being thick...but what does the age of consent REALLY MEAN then? and are there any "criminal" charges that could be impossed becase of a relationship and kissing? (no sex!)

I am just really really concerned...

Thanks

 

[stealth2]

Age of consent means when they can legally have sexual contact. HOWEVER... until the age of majority, his parents rule every aspect of his life if they choose to. And if they decide that they do not want her hanging around him, they can take legal action to keep her away - even if they are doing nothing physical.

But again, a 23yo who is interested in a relatioship with a child has serious issues that need to be addressed.

 

[young1]

what other non-sexual consequences?

You mentioned non-sex related charges may still be applied to the 25 year old in this case. What other types of charges could be applied?

Also, would it make a difference, under the law, if gender roles were switched in this scenario?

 

[divona2000]

young1, this post is FIVE years old! Start a new post with your own question, don't necropost.