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Help child custody ??????

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renne398

Guest
What is the name of your state? Missouri
I have a 5 yr old daughter, her father and I have been split up for about 5 months. Her and i moved into our own place a year ago, and we have lived alone. He has spent most of her life in jail or prison, from drugs to drinking. He has recently gto a place to live about 15 minutes away with his new girlfriend who is barely 18, he is 28. His house is only a 2 bdrm, he also has a son that is 11, that has been passed from family member to family member. I feel like my hands are always tied, I am afraid if i dont do what he says he will take her an run, all i have asked out of him is to be a dad and help me out money wise with what he can, which is usually $50 a month. I will not allow her to stay at his house cause she does not have a room or bed of her own. The holidays are coming up, and his family all of a sudden what her, they never call and ask about her or want her until the holidays. I have been told i better let her go with her dad, and to his families! I have also been told any gifts she gets there she will not be allowed to bring home. I feel like i am beating my head into a wall, I am doing the best I can on my own, and I have been so excited cause I was able to make sure she had a good x-mas, and i have done it. Now her dad is breathing down neck. I am afraid if i dont let him have her he will sneak and take her from school. I can't afford an attorney, I feel that is my only way out of this. I want her to be able to have a dad but I want him to act like dad not just when he has time. Can anyone help me????? Thanks!!!
 


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FJ1200guy

Guest
The first thing folks on here will want (need) to know is what your Custody order says, Renne. :)
 
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renne398

Guest
help child custody!!

We have never been to court! We have nothing legal!
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Okay - you need to research how your state handles custody between unmarried parents. Has he ever had a paternity test and been declared the LEGAL father? If not, he may have no rights at all.

But what you really need to do is go to the courthouse and file paperwork to establish custody, visitation and support.
 
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renne398

Guest
help child custody!!

I am afraid go get support in fear it will make him mad and he will take her. He is on her BC as her father, but we have not hada paternity test done!
 
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hexeliebe

Guest
I have been told i better let her go with her dad, and to his families! I
I have to go out for a bit but until I do return I wanted to address this line in your original post.

You do not let that child out of your sight PERIOD.
 
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renne398

Guest
help child custody!!

I am afraid if I dont let him have her that he wil ltake her why I am at work and she is at school. Then I will ahve to fight for her back.
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
You let the school know that no one but who you designate is to pick up your child from school. Before I had a chance to do that at my children's school here, my SO had went to pick them up and they wouldn't allow them to get in the car with him until they called me to make sure. Make sure that they know, in no uncertain terms, who is and is not to pick her up from school. Put it in writing.

In Missouri, the unmarried mother automatically aquires custody upon the birth of the child. That does NOT mean that you don't need to get a custody order through the court though. It's much easier to prove who should have custody with a court order than by "saying" so.

You should also know that absent a court order stating so, you do not have to let him take her out of your home. If I were you, I wouldn't. Not by what you've posted here. I see a few "veiled" threats in your posts from him and his family if indeed it's as you state.
 
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hexeliebe

Guest
O.K. now that I'm back just a quick note on what MissouriGal said. DO IT! No one is to take your child out of that school unless they CALL you first. PERIOD!

I don't care if it's Mother Teresa come back from the grave. You leave WRITTEN instructions (ask that the principle inform his front office staff) to this effect tomorrow morning.

Now, as to the law in Missouri.

In the Missouri Supreme Court Decision re. Missouri Division of Child Support Enforcement and J. D. J., Individually and as Next Friend of C. J., Appellants, v. T. J. and G. L. T., Respondents the court addressed several issues, not the least that of unproving the putative father identity and the statute of limitations.

What this means for you is this. Although the statute of limitations on proving of paternity is five years, that only applies to the putative father, the supposed father under law. If the action is not brought within five years, he can't bring it ever.

The court's opinion is below:
2) If a child has a presumed father, an action to declare the nonexistence of the father-child relationship with the presumed father must be brought no later than the child's fifth birthday. Thus, the five-year limitation forecloses a defense of non-paternity by presumed father. Accordingly, the dismissal of the petition against the presumed father is reversed, and that cause of action is remanded.

3) A prerequisite to establishing putative father's paternity is a finding of non-paternity in the presumed father. This finding is precluded by the statute of limitations in section 210.826 and the holding of W.B. Because neither the presumed father, the natural mother, nor the child contested the father-child relationship within the required five-year period, the trial court correctly dismissed the action against the putative father.

Now that you've read and digested that portion of the law, your next problem is that it's also too late for you to unname him as the father. That means that he has certain rights and obligations under the law for this child.

Therefore, for the sake of this child and you, YOU MUST file for support and custody. Take a minute to think about this. If you do not file for custody, he has an equal right to HIS child and can take her anytime and anywhere he wishes. In the absence of a court order establishing the limits of custody, there is no kidnapping.

File for Sole Legal and Physical Custody and supervised visitation until 1 year has passed. Also, file for support at the state-mandated rate. (consult with an attorney for this).

The entire support/visitation/custody statute can be found here.

http://www.moga.state.mo.us/statutes/C400-499/4520000375.HTM

Do some reading then come back here. But first write the no-pickup order for the school so you'll be ready to hand it to the principle (and her or him only) first thing tomorrow.
 
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renne398

Guest
help child custody

Thank You guys so much. I feel everyday is like beating my head against the wall, no matter what I do he is breathing down my neck and I am not sure what is right from wrong! Thanks so much!!!
 
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renne398

Guest
help child custody

Thank You guys so much. I feel everyday is like beating my head against the wall, no matter what I do he is breathing down my neck and I am not sure what is right from wrong! Thanks so much!!!
 
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mack1969

Guest
hey, if i were you i'd beat him to the punch and file for custody and support.......my ex-girfriend and i have a daughter together and i was able to get soul legal custody of her.....she walked out on us when daughter was 5 months old....whenever she wanted something and i refused she threatened to take my daughter.......granted i knew she didn't want her, she just used her and held her over my head..finally i said enough and i took her to court and won........our story is very similar....only i'm the dad who has his head on straight. But i do suggest that the longer you put it off the better his chances are of doing it to you. definetly tell the school no-one other than you shall pick the child up unless you have told them in person otherwise, and i stress in person!!!!!!! good luck, i have a decent lawyer who helped me and i live in missouri as well......so if you need any help or have any questions ...feel free to contact me.
 

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